to think my sister was a bit insensitive Re Holiday

[NachoAddict]

Dp was made redundant towards the end of last year. We had booked a holiday prior to this but not paid the full balance. Dp is still out of work, the balance needs paying next week so we have decided we will have to cancel it. We will loose the 800 non refundable deposit.

My sister rang me after hearing about it and asked if they can pay the outstanding balance and have the holiday.

So am I being UR to think she is being a bit insensitive cheeky or is she being wise since we will be losing the money anyway?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

But there is a huge difference between you offering it to someone, and them (apparently) taking advantage of your misfortune to try to get a £2,400 holiday for £1,600. The former is generosity, the latter is cheeky and a bit grabby.

[gobbynorthernbird]

It is cheeky for the sister to ask, but I'd rather somebody I knew had the benefit of my £800 than lose it to a travel company.

[CheerfulYank]

Really hope it's working out OP!

[Lj8893]

Even if a relative offered me the chance to take over the holiday I would feel extremely awkward and rude taking it without offering some sort of money towards the £800 deposit. So I certainly wouldn't be asking for it.
Yes, the £800 is just going to go into the pockets of the travel company but why should the sister also be effectively given £800??

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Yup, entitled and grabby. Not just cheeky but downright rude and insensitive too.

She should be offering to help you by way of a loan or something, not gleefully rubbing her hands together.

[Dubjackeen]

Fingers crossed test the OP manages to defer it, or move the booking to a different holiday.

[ZenNudist]

Hoping for a MN success story here!

[Mellowandfruitful]

I think offering to pay half the deposit would be reasonable. As has been said, the sister wouldn't get a totally unrestricted choice of holiday, but that way both would be in a better position than otherwise. As it is, the sister gets 800 quid discount on a holiday, whereas the OP gets the warm glow of being a nice person, which is all very well but doesn't pay the bills.

[JapaneseMargaret]

Still nobody on the pro-sister side is explaining why the sister shouldn't also pay the £800 deposit.

If she does this, then everyone's happy, no-one's being ripped off.

If she doesn't, she's being cheeky and tight.

[winterhat]

YANBU. If she really thinks you'd like to subsidise her by £800, why doesn't she instead make a similar offer to you so that you can take the holiday?

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

How much do you have already towards the 1600 balance, OP? If you're 800 short then I would be cheeky and ask her if she would give you the other 800 so that you could still go on holiday - after all why is it different asking HER to give you 800 to YOU giving your sister the 800 deposit?

[hoppinghare]

The sister would not be getting her own choice of holiday so of course she should not pay premium price. She could give the OP something towards the deposit but even if she doesn't it makes no sense to throw away £800 when your relative could use it. I cannot believe the number of people who say they would refuse the sister. It actually shocks me that so many people are only out for themselves and have no concept of sharing. It isn't even sharing as the OP cannot use it and it is totally lost to her (or seemed to be in the OP before people mentioned transferring it) so we are talking about the original choice of the OP not having a holiday but her sister getting to go or nobody getting to go and there is a big chorus of 'if there's nothing in it for you don't let her go'. Really charming.

[Bogeyface]

Hopping you are still spectacularly missing the point.

The sister jumped in hoping to bag a bargain at the OP's expense. Sister or not, that is mean, selfish and thoughtless. Perhaps the OP would have offered when it became clear that she wasnt going to get her money back, but that would be her call not her sisters.

[hoppinghare]

And she would not be subsidising her sister. She has already spent the £800. It's gone. She certainly didn't spend it for her sister. Doesn't sound like she would let her sister eat a big cake she couldn't manage if she had a stomach bug. She'd rather chuck it in the bin.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

But it is so vulture-like for the sister to approach the OP. If the OP had approached the sister and said "look, we can't afford to pay the balance - you may as well go on the holiday if you can afford it" that would have been ENTIRELY different. I mean, did the sister even try and suggest alternatives like we all have so that the OP could go? Did she offer sympathy and encourage her to phone up to defer? Cos it sounds like to me that she just saw the opportunity for a cheap holiday and leapt at it, while her sister feels horribly disappointed at her own misfortune.

[Parkend]

I think most people have said it wouldn't be so bad to let the sister have the holiday if she had offered to give them back just some of the money that have lost, even a small amount.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

It actually shocks me that so many people are only out for themselves

What, like the sister, you mean?

Maybe OP would have offered had her DSis not jumped right in and asked?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

OP... I'm sorry about the redundancy, lousy timing.

If it were me - and I couldn't have paid the balance and I couldn't defer or get a refund - the first thing I would have done is offered the cheaper holiday to family. I don't really understand why you wouldn't do that as a matter of course rather than let the holiday company keep the money.

Then again, if I were your sister, I'd probably have tried to rustle up the balance for you so that you could go yourself.

I hope that it gets sorted out for you, one way or the other, without causing bad feelings.

[LaGuardia]

Blimey. What sort of holiday requires a deposit of £800 Is it an around the world cruise for six months?

[FetchezLaVache]

Look at the suggestions the people on this thread have made- does the policy come with a redundancy clause, will your travel insurance cover it, can you defer the holiday until next year, etc. That's complete strangers trying to help the OP get her holiday. Her sister, OTOH, just sees the opportunity for her family to get a holiday at a discounted price. So while I do agree that it would be better for the OP's sister to have the holiday than for it to go to waste, the expression "would you jump in my grave as fast?" kinda springs to mind.

[NachoAddict]

Hoping my post at 19.32 said - If it's a choice between losing the money and them having it, then of course they can have it.

I am of course going to do everything in my power to keep the holiday for my own family and not lose our money.

First Choice have said we can defer it at cost of £50 each so looks like we just have to find something cheaper, later in the year and ring them back.

To those wondering why I didn't offer it around, we were waiting until the last minute to see if we could push to it, we have 1100 that we could afford but really can't stretch that little farther to 1600 within the next week. We have been hoping that a job would come up in time. I didn't realise that dsis had that money at her disposal tbh or I would have considered offering.

[TheArticFunky]

That is a huge deposit. Is that the norm these days?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

That's a good outcome, OP. I'd be paying that deposit now and not booking anything until the last minute to get the best deals.

As least you now have a holiday to look forward to.

[NachoAddict]

We are a big family Arctic

Very pleased with the outcome. Will let ds know when she finishes work.

[Chippednailvarnish]

Really pleased for you!