"I've not even put a ring on your finger yet!" - Aibu to find this controlling??

[Sundaysomeday]

So dp and I have agreed to get married. More for my sake although he reckons he's excited about it too. We picked my engagement ring together although I agreed to let him give me it on valentines day as he'd supposedly been planning to do. Well I regret agreeing to this because he keeps using it against me whenever I talk about wedding plans. We're getting married next summer and already have the venue in mind yet depending on his mood, if I try and discuss it with him he says "I've not even put a ring on your finger yet". This is so controlling isn't it?! We argued last night and I told him if he says it one more time I'll put the bloody thing on my own finger. He doesn't get to "be in charge" of it. So pissed off. And he said I was being "dense" regarding some of the things I was bringing up (like how we'll pay for the wedding!! What's dense about that??)

Er, this thread is from 2014.....

So it is, Bah!

Wonder if they married and lived happily ever after.

Raise the bar OP. Imagine what he’ll be like in a few years. There’s enough unhappy women on here to show you your future if you stay with such a twat.

I am lost 🤣
Or maybe old fashioned haha

What is the point of proposing to someone on Valentine’s Day if they already said yes and chose their own ring ?

@stampsurprise how on earth did you manage to drag up a 7 year old thread??

Goodness, men really aren't allowed to be annoyed are they? One word of discontent and they're abusive, controlling monsters. Men do have emotions too. Let him do his proposal and then if he still is funny about wedding talk, just gently explain to him that wedding planning means a lot to you and you're really excited about it and I'm sure he will come around.

Zombie 🧟‍♂️

how on earth did you manage to drag up a 7 year old thread??

🤣

Imagine what he’ll be like in a few years

This thread is 7 years old so not a lot of imagining required!

I don't know why there have been so many zombie threads revived on Mumsnet recently.
But regarding this one.
You are adults. You have decided that you want to marry one another Great! That's splendid! Very genuine congratulations!

But why on earth are either of you buying in to commercialised/non traditional/really stupid mock 'traditions'?
It's not making either of you happy, at one of the times in your life that is surely most special.
Just get on with it. Agree that you want to get married. Celebrate in any way that you can with your nearest and dearest. Find somewhere - in these difficult times - that can accommodate something close to the sort of celebration that you would like. Or just do the legal stuff, and celebrate later.
And - genuinely, again - congratulations.

They have agreed to get married; they are, effectively, engaged.

Him pretending otherwise is just silly.

But it does sound like couples counselling might be a good idea before you actually get married to get a feel for what you're each expecting from each other as partners in life.

Aren't you nice forcing him into a marriage he doesn't want. If he really wanted it why wait to give you the ring?

I'd say not, since this thread is 7 years old. 🙄

@Sundaysomeday if you're there.... give us an update?

sorry guys! I just searched “Valentine” as I wanted to see how the day was panning out on MN And this came up first?! I then got caught up in the story....