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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to pay the live in nanny/au pair this salary.

372 replies

SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 17:56

£300 a week for 7:30AM-5PM 5 times a week sometimes it may be a bit more. Then give her some money so she can treat herself. She will stay in our house and she get the chance to go to college/university. We will provide her with food, water a shower and internet. She will be treated like a member of the family and will be able to access the family car.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 23:26

Nobody is complaining they have it hard!

OP posts:
Wantsunshine · 07/02/2014 23:28

I can tell OP. You will never think YABU

LifeIsForTheLiving · 07/02/2014 23:29

There are many posts scathingly commenting on having to work 50 hours and implying how terrible it is.

Those posts were not all up in arms about the possible au pair/nanny confusion. They were about the actual working hours.

Bogeyface · 07/02/2014 23:29

I bet Your "Nanny" would be if she had half a chance!

Sweetart · 07/02/2014 23:30

What a wag you are, spag Grin

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:30

From what I understood the posts re the hours was regarding the unreasonable wage that accompanies it!

PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2014 23:32

I think the point was the ridiculously low salary for the 50 hours, not the 50 hours per se, which as you say isn't that rare. Plus here the 50 hours doesn't include such fun things as dinner with the OP, being her friend and going on holiday with her, all of which are work in another guise!

ikeaismylocal · 07/02/2014 23:32

The nanny would work 10 hours but then I assume have all evening to relax, go out, study, watch tv, read. She wouldn't have to spend her evenings running a house.

10 hours of childcare isn't hugely difficult, especially if you know your going to get all evening to yourself and an undisturbed nights sleep.

wyldchyld · 07/02/2014 23:32

Bornin is right. People aren't slating about long hours, they're slating about appalling pay proposed by OP!

wyldchyld · 07/02/2014 23:35

She would live in the house. Her only "own" space is a bedroom with a (possible locking) door. She does not get away. If a child cries or asks for her help, is she supposed to ignore it? What if she wants to get a drink and comes across one of the kids needing help with something? Or ends up awake all night cause one of the kids is ill?

That's why you pay extra. Cause she would never get away fully. It's not as if she has a granny flat and her own facilities. She is there 24/7 unless she has somewhere else to go, which she would require, guess what, a living wage to fund. Back to square one.

Wantsunshine · 07/02/2014 23:35

I'm not complaining I have it hard. It's the way i like it!!!!

antimatter · 07/02/2014 23:35

nanny has 10 hour job and no break looking after 3 kids under 6
most of us have some kind of lunch break during our working day

Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 23:37

Well I have asked countless times what a appropriate wage and I am being ridiculed.

OP posts:
Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:37

Anti! We also have free water ;-)

Bogeyface · 07/02/2014 23:37

Think of this job not in terms of being a Nanny but being a carer to an elderly person with mobility issues and dementia. Would £350 a week for 50 hours minimum and being on site all the time be OK then?

No.

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:38

Op- many have answered appropriate wage from400 upwards

Bogeyface · 07/02/2014 23:39

Spag I am in the Midlands and I would expect to pay £500 net plus own lockable accomodation, use of second family car, mobile phone, 5.6 weeks hols, babysitting on evenings and weekends at £6 per hour on top of salary. Oh and paying the salary while she was on hols with us.

LifeIsForTheLiving · 07/02/2014 23:39

Bogeyface - you can't even begin to compare the care of young children with (as far as we are aware) no additional needs and the care of an adult with dementia.

Caring for people with dementia takes a plethora of special skills and abilities.

It's like comparing being able to drive a car with being able to drive a 50 tonne lorry.

wyldchyld · 07/02/2014 23:39

OP, everyone is saying £400 - £500 net at least, you didn't seem to listen which is why people started pointing out the huge flaws in your reimbursement plan!

Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 23:40

I said £400 an was told no it against human rights.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/02/2014 23:40

I should say that I have a friend who is a lecturer in child care (not her official title, something about Early Years I think!) so thats how I know what the going rate is, and its more than I earn!

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:40

Why is it
Against human rights
Op?

Sharaluck · 07/02/2014 23:41

I don't think the arrangement is a good one for the nanny.

5 children is a lot to get to and from school (how many different schools?) and she has 2 children for the whole day.

I don't think she has time at all for study/classes.

I think a nanny might take the job for the short term if she is having a hard time with regard to work/housing but I doubt she will stay in the job for very long.

Bogeyface · 07/02/2014 23:41

Spag

You are offering too little money, your "benefits" are laughable and the hours simply do not match the wage you are offering.

Either up the wage, up the benefits, lower the hours or for preference, all three.

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 23:42

Well as I said THREE hours ago, I have never paid less than £9 p.h for unqualified mothers help (+ as much free water as she could use).

I live in hope that you reap what you sow.