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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to pay the live in nanny/au pair this salary.

372 replies

SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 17:56

£300 a week for 7:30AM-5PM 5 times a week sometimes it may be a bit more. Then give her some money so she can treat herself. She will stay in our house and she get the chance to go to college/university. We will provide her with food, water a shower and internet. She will be treated like a member of the family and will be able to access the family car.

OP posts:
Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:10

Life - I bet your husband is paid accordingly for the hours he works! The person who the op has
Employed has not! It's less than minimum wage (I tink)

PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2014 23:10

But this job isn't an au pair job. You seem to be struggling with that concept.

Grennie · 07/02/2014 23:11

Whether you think this is a reasonable wage or not, it is not the going rate. If you pay much less than the going rate, you won't get someone good at the job, or you will get someone very naive and inexperienced.

I used to read a forum of parents and nannies talking about other nannies who gave very poor care to children. For example, nannies who spent all their time with under 5's, with their boyfriend there, and basically ignored the kids.

If you pay much less than the going rate, you risk getting someone that others would never employ.

mrwilloughby · 07/02/2014 23:12

For a 10.5 hour day... Lots of British nannies work 11 or 12 hour days (though in my experience prefer a 4 day week).

Bogeyface · 07/02/2014 23:12

And I am not a nanny, nor have I ever employed one. If I know that then how the hell do the OP, Life and Ikea claim that this is a good deal?!

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:12

Life I think you will find working for the nhs as a band 2
37.5 week with enhancements for shift and European working time directive gets u a lot more than what the op originally planned to pay the employee!

Wantsunshine · 07/02/2014 23:13

Pigeon, I agree I think she wants that type of Dubai arrangement!

LifeIsForTheLiving · 07/02/2014 23:13

Bornin - dh is paid for 40 hours, which is his contract.

The additional is unpaid overtime which is necessary for him to carry out his job.

This is a 'proper' PAYE job, with a very large and well known company in the UK. There are no overtime payments, but in his job role he has responsibilities to meet and he needs to stay until they are done.

I know lots of people like this.

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:15

Life - and lots of people will accept that yes!

But the op asked if she was unreasonable
In what she was paying and the majority say she is unreasonable!

antimatter · 07/02/2014 23:15

you haven't mentioned bank holidays and 4 weeks paid holidays, has that been agreed?

what if she is sick? would she still have to work?

what are her responsibiities - does she cook and clean after the kids as well as does ironing for them?

what happens if you are home later than 5:30?

Wantsunshine · 07/02/2014 23:16

So OP what is your job, can we discuss what you are really worth??
It sounds as though you are expecting to be home by 5. I hope you have a minimal commute as I am sure many bosses would not be happy with your short days!

Pigeonhouse · 07/02/2014 23:16

But presumably, Life, he saw the contract before he signed it, and agreed to a salary before he accepted the job, rather than found himself working 50 hour weeks for an employer who then went on the internet to find out how little s/he could pay him, with the proviso that if he performed OK, he would be given a 'treat' of £75?

LifeIsForTheLiving · 07/02/2014 23:17

I disagree. I think it's a completely reasonable offer to make.

If the person applying thinks that it's an acceptable salary with acceptable 'perks' (such as free room/board/holidays) that's up to them.

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:18

If she is a live in a perk shouldn't include a free room or water Ffs!

Op wants a nanny but paying for an au pair!

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:19

Or board for that matter that shouldn't be a perk it's a human right!!!

I wonder if the op is from the Middle East for her to assume this is acceptable seeing as she appears to be clued up as to what expectations are from example Dubai?

antimatter · 07/02/2014 23:21

free room and board aren't "perks" of live-in nanny!
family holidays - would she work during those holidays 7:30-5:30 as well?

wyldchyld · 07/02/2014 23:21

Life, I'm sorry but this is a classic example of one of the things that makes me angriest about the attitude of people in this country - "I've got it bad, why should I care if someone else does". A massive example of this was seen in the teaching strike when loads of people turned round and went "well, I have it far worse, put up and shut up". If more people said no and campaigned for living wages and better quality of life and a better work life balance, maybe employers would start listening. Instead, all we get is a race to the bottom because no-one will support anyone else who is trying to improve their conditions.

LifeIsForTheLiving · 07/02/2014 23:21

In comparison to 'most' jobs, free room and board is a considerable perk.

PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2014 23:22

So - if an employee is being exploited, it's her fault?

antimatter · 07/02/2014 23:24

when a nanny has a "live-in" position she has accommodation and board provided or paid for - such is the description of this kind of job

Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 23:24

I am not from the middle east but had lived their previously.

OP posts:
Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:24

But as a live in nanny or au pair which the op wants it's not a perk it's what's expected!

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 23:24

We can tell OP.

LifeIsForTheLiving · 07/02/2014 23:25

Wyldchyld - that's not my attitude at all.

I'm not moaning that 'we have it bad' in relation to df's job...just using it as an example.

My original point was around the abject horror of expecting anyone to work a 50 hour week. In my experience, especially in jobs where there is a lot of responsibility, 50 hour weeks are pretty standard.

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 23:26

Life,
Is that 50 hours for an au pair or a nanny which is what this thread is about not "regular" jobs! This is specific to the ops "needs"