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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to pay the live in nanny/au pair this salary.

372 replies

SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 17:56

£300 a week for 7:30AM-5PM 5 times a week sometimes it may be a bit more. Then give her some money so she can treat herself. She will stay in our house and she get the chance to go to college/university. We will provide her with food, water a shower and internet. She will be treated like a member of the family and will be able to access the family car.

OP posts:
DownstairsMixUp · 07/02/2014 21:46

Poor woman! I hope she see's sense and can find another job who pay her well!

Grennie · 07/02/2014 22:01

Was she homeless? Is this why she agreed to the job without knowing the salary?

Artandco · 07/02/2014 22:07

This can't be serious. No experienced nanny would eer accept a job not knowing whether they will earn £5 or £500 a week! Most wouldn't even look at an advert if at Least a rough guide to the pay wasn't listed. A nanny agency wouldn't put you on their books to advertise not knowing what you were willing to pay

Even with live in I think you are looking at £450 net ( around £580 gross) a week min. 5 children varying in age is a lot and very few will want that job seeing as they can earn the same amount looking after 1 or 2.

bunnymother · 07/02/2014 22:07

If you don't pay her a reasonable salary (ie market rate), and £300 per week is not reasonable/market, you should expect that she will accept the job and continue to look for a well paid one, then quit when she finds it. That's the risk you take when you don't pay market rates. The other issue is that it affects your employee's morale and she may not perform her job as well as if she was paid market rate.

There are lots of nannies where I live, and I have seen both of the above happen (not to me, thankfully!, we always paid our nanny properly).

Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 22:17

Is £350 acceptable

OP posts:
Finaldeskination1 · 07/02/2014 22:20

350 for one child isn't enough never mind 5.

WipsGlitter · 07/02/2014 22:23

No. It's not.

Wantsunshine · 07/02/2014 22:23

If she does accept the job I would keep your advertisement running. You will probably arrive home shocked that the place is a mess and she doesn't have all the cleaning and ironing done. Therefore not getting her extra pocket money. She will quit after a month. Why have so many children that you clearly don't want to pay proper childcare for. I am guessing the use of the car will be only to ferry your children around and if she were to use it outside her hours you will start an AIBU as to whether you should sack her as she did not replenish petrol used.

Wantsunshine · 07/02/2014 22:26

No, £350 is not acceptable. Not for so many children. She could earn that a day as a childminder for 5!
I hope the room you have for her is amazing and you have an indoor pool!

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 07/02/2014 22:26
Grin

OP is clearly on the wind up.

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 22:28

She can't have a pool!!! She's getting water for free! I think a pool may incur a charge!!!

Wantsunshine · 07/02/2014 22:31

I was hoping the water was a lovely well heated pool and jacuzzi.

If not the water she is providing so lovingly to the carer of her children maybe angel tears at the very least!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 07/02/2014 22:34

Are you sure you want a nanny so dim she will accept this paltry sum for looking after five kids. Surely your precouis 1st - fifth borns deserve better.

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 22:36

OP: Am I being unreasonable to offer my nanny a peanut + water for looking after 5 DCs for 47.5 hours a week?
MN: Yes
OP: But I will let her go to evening classes once she has finished her work (+ free water)
MN: Yes you're still being unreasonable
OP: What about a peanut and a half (+ free water)
MN: Yes you're still being unreasonable

Pigeonhouse · 07/02/2014 22:41

You say you are in the UK, but is the nanny British? Because there has to be some reason why a woman has apparently entered into your employment without first negotiating a salary, and it suggests either enormous naivete or the inexperience of someone being 'imported' without having any idea of market rates. Does she have childcare qualifications?

The idea that she has to earn her way up to market rate by proving herself, the mention of 'free water' and 'give her money so she can treat herself' makes it sound as though you have an extremely strange notion of an appropriate relationship between employer and employee. Let me get this straight - rather than paying her an appropriate salary, you plan to give her a one-off payment of £75 as a 'treat' for 'doing well'? She's your employee, not a teenager to whom you are giving extra pocket money!

You clearly don't entirely trust her to 'do well', so why on earth are you putting her in charge of your children? Why not hire someone qualified, check their references and qualifications, negotiate a contract in advance and pay them properly?

I really hope I'm wrong, but your posts have reminded me sharply of the exploitative and paternalistic attitudes towards imported cheap domestic labour that I saw when I was living in the Middle East.

Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 22:42

How much would you say is acceptable because i think £300-400 a week is suitable. She will also get many benefits and DC are no trouble.

OP posts:
lilyaldrin · 07/02/2014 22:44

Offer her £400 then.

PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2014 22:44

What benefits? Water, a bed and a shower don't count.

Bornin1984 · 07/02/2014 22:45

Benefits that include water!!! Gee would love to know what the benefits are? Or do u mean time of to go to college after looking after your 5 children until 5pm! If they did attend college, when do u propose they have free time to study!!!

You really have no idea

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 07/02/2014 22:45

what benefits? and Grin @ 5 dc being 'no trouble'! yeah- five kids= piece of piss

£400 net would be a start.

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 22:46

OP: Two peanuts? (+free water)

Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 22:47

She is eastern European. I am not sure why this is so frowned upon In Shanghai and Dubai this is common. We have checked her and everything. When we hired her we agreed we would start with £200 a week then go up.

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 07/02/2014 22:48

Now I know you are taking the piss.

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 22:49

OP: She's Eastern European, so I'm going to make her pay us peanuts for the pleasure of working for us.

Unexpected · 07/02/2014 22:49

WHAT benefits? I hope you're not going to mention the water and use of a shower again! Telling her she can go to college in the evening when she has finished working is not a benefit so I hope you're not relying on that. Her evenings are her time to do with as she will, if she decides to do evening classes that is nothing to do with you. If you are going back to work, imagine how you will feel if your employer pats you on the head for a job well done, occasionally (maybe) gives you some extra money if you have done "well" - in some undefined fashion - and tells you you can go to college when you are not working for them!

Please tell us if this nanny is British or not?

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