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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to pay the live in nanny/au pair this salary.

372 replies

SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 17:56

£300 a week for 7:30AM-5PM 5 times a week sometimes it may be a bit more. Then give her some money so she can treat herself. She will stay in our house and she get the chance to go to college/university. We will provide her with food, water a shower and internet. She will be treated like a member of the family and will be able to access the family car.

OP posts:
YouStayClassySanDiego · 07/02/2014 19:29

OP, You and your dh are both returning to full time work and you presumably want first class care for your children.

Pay accordingly and respect the job you expect her to do.

Pay her £400 a week net.

1974rach · 07/02/2014 19:30

In a word - yes!

Perhaps I am reading the post in tbe "wrong" tone but you come across as being very unclear as to what you want. Do you want a nanny? Or do you want an au pair? AFAIK au pairs are not qualified; nannies are.

I have to say, that if my "friends" had the audacity to charge for water I would be looking for new friends. They sound absolutely horrific...

ivanapoo · 07/02/2014 19:31

For an au pair doing fewer hours (20-25 a week with family around at least some of that time) I think it's generous.

For a nanny doing the hours you mention it's very, very stingy.

JapaneseMargaret · 07/02/2014 19:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laquitar · 07/02/2014 19:36

Do you provide free oxygen aswell?

She will breath the air in your house.

itsbetterthanabox · 07/02/2014 19:38

How many children and how old are they op? That's relevant. It changes nursery prices after all.
I think if you can't afford to pay your childcare provider correctly with both of you working then you or your partner should be a sahp instead.

Pigeonhouse · 07/02/2014 19:43

OP, for the love of God, as I said on your other thread, look up the difference between an au pair and a nanny.

I know the au pair rules changed in 2010 or so, but from what I remember, the basics are relatively unaltered - he or she needs to be from an authorised country, may only work 30 hours a week in total, including babysitting, has all food, travel, accommodation paid for, and gets a small stipend (in the region of £80-90 a week?) on top of that. It's not so much a job as a cultural exchange.

A nanny is a qualified professional commanding an actual salary.

It worries me that you seem not to know the difference, and that your posts may be suggesting you have already employed a foreigner or simply someone who is too inexperienced to have stipulated a salary before beginning to work for you. A qualified nanny would not be so naïve.

There's something awfully fishy going on here.

HopeS01 · 07/02/2014 19:45

I was just going to ask the same as itsbetter, if it's just one child I don't think the rate sounds too bad Blush. That's more than I have after rent/bills and I work longer hours in a reasonably paid job!
I'm obviously clueless.

puddingsforsandy · 07/02/2014 19:49

You think that's bad. I knew of an African woman looking after 2 boys and one child has significant special needs. She worked 7 days around the clock as both parents are professionals with busy careers. They paid that poor woman 50 pounds per month. When the African woman started to learn English/being around other people, she would question it. The couple started saying she was becoming lippy and she doesn't know how lucky she was because she paid no rent and food. That woman had her own kids back in Africa who she was sending her measly 50 quid every month. She ended up running away. I know of her because my sister helped her.

lilyaldrin · 07/02/2014 19:50

It's not that bad as a first nanny job. A more experienced/qualified nanny, especially working in central London, would expect a lot more, but for someone unqualified or with little experience, in their first role, I don't think minimum wage is unreasonable. Compare that with what other childcare workers get paid, and they usually have to pay rent and bills out of it.

WholeNutt · 07/02/2014 19:52

Isn't that less than minimum wage?!

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 19:56

your reply was not appropriate

And neither is your "salary".

I have never paid less than £9 p.h GROSS for a mothers help, let alone a nanny. And as for "money so she can treat herself". Well you could of course pay her a proper salary at the living wage, instead of slipping her a £5 here or there when you see fit.

lilyaldrin · 07/02/2014 19:58

Was that £9 gross for live-in Chipped?

LynetteScavo · 07/02/2014 20:01

So, Op, are you are talking about a live in nanny, or an au-pair? The two are very different.

What age are your DC, and will she be working until 5pm or will she actually have time to study during the day?

I think for a live in nanny, the pay is OK if your DC are at school, and don't live in the SE. Will you pay extra for babysitting?

You have friends who charge nannies for water? Seriously? They would not be friends of mine for very long. Hmm

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 20:03

Yes, but she did move out to live with her boyfriend and we didn't pay her more as we changed her hours around to accommodate the course she wanted to study. Also paid holiday pay and travel.

She's no longer with us (career change) but she still chooses to see the Dc's each week as she misses them!

lilyaldrin · 07/02/2014 20:04

Wow, £23k+ annual salary is above average for a live-in nanny, let alone a mother's help.

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 20:04

Sorry that was to Lily

Chippednailvarnish · 07/02/2014 20:06

You get what you pay for!

fedupfedup · 07/02/2014 20:13

Yabvu. A decent nanny would never work for that wage. Yours must either be bad or you're taking advantage of her inexperience.

OutragedFromLeeds · 07/02/2014 20:21

YABU to refer to a live-in nanny/au pair, they're completely different jobs.

£300 net a week (i.e. after you've paid their tax and NI) is probably ok for a junior nanny. If you mean £300 gross, it's not enough.

Au pairs shouldn't work more than 25-30 hours a week. Even an au pair plus would only do 35 hours a week.

The fact that you mention you will provide her with water, like it's a perk of the job, makes you sound very odd.

Cindy34 · 07/02/2014 20:30

To me it seems as though live-in nanny salaries have remained about the same for the past 10 years, maybe even 20. I think survey data indicates that salaries have increased over time but I would need to look that up and survey data does not always represent real life - just those who bothered to complete the survey.

For a first nanny job, someone in experienced in nannying, not in major city, then I feel it is about right. If it is someone experienced, in a major city, I would wonder why they would take the job vs other jobs available.

If it is an au-pair doing 25 hours of homehelp, not sole charge care of children, then I feel it is too high, they would typically get under 100 a week.

How does it compare with other similar jobs in the area? The market drives salary to an extent, to get good applicants employers have to offer an attractive package.

Original poster
SpagBolgs · 07/02/2014 20:51

She is a live in nanny. We live in the UK and the Nanny has been a nanny for around 6 years. We have 5DC 3LO who are under the age of 6 and the 2 eldest. The 2 eldest and older DC go to school so she will look after the LO during the day.

OP posts:
lilyaldrin · 07/02/2014 20:53

£300 gross sounds much to low in that case. I think you're looking at nearer £400-£500 gross.

Unexpected · 07/02/2014 20:59

This is disgusting (or even discusting). This nanny has six years experience, she does not need to start from the bottom and work her way up to prove herself worthy of a higher salary. She is already worth more than that!

She cannot go to college/university if she is looking after children full-time. I would like to know how your friends make their nannies pay for water - is the kitchen tap on a meter?!

What does giving her money to treat herself mean - how much, how often? How patronising! And a way of avoiding paying tax!

People like you give decent nanny employers a bad name.

Tryharder · 07/02/2014 21:08

You can't compare the job to McDonalds.

A live in nanny getting £300 a week with no rent, transport costs, bills, council tax, food to buy sounds great to me. When do I start? Grin

McDonald's employees earn the same but have to pay all their own living expenses.

Obviously.

I have been on MN for years and have noticed that MNetters get really twitchy if they think someone is getting cheap childcare or the worst one, not paying tax.