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Original poster

To think that 3 teachers shouldn't have done this to my son?

223 replies

Marn1e · 29/01/2014 20:28

My DS is 7 and in year 2. He's been swimming with the school every week for the past two terms and enjoys it a lot.

Last week he had a flare up of his eczema. For background, he's suffered since he was 3 months old and has been involved in clinical trials/ all sorts of treatments etc. I now generally just keep him moisturised etc and only use his 10% steroid cream when need be. Last week he was covered so I immediately used his cream and gave him anti histamine etc.

It coincided with swimming so I popped into the office on the relevant morning and told them he'd had a flare up of eczema and I was going to keep him off swimming for two weeks ( necessary because the steroid immediately gets to work but further applications are needed even when the patches are gone to continue "dampening' it all down.

Today was the second week so I didn't send him in with his kit. He's still covered but on the mend so he will be back to it next week.

He came out of school today and told me that a teaching assistant had approached him and asked him why he wasn't swimming. He told her he had eczema. She then called over another teacher and a helper and between them they asked him to pull up his trousers so they could see his legs and then asked him to pull up his tops so they could look at his chest, tummy and back. He did this but was obviously a bit bothered as it was the first thing he said to me when he came out of school.

I called the school and the relevant teachers had gone home, although the teacher I spoke to said there would have been a very good reason why they did this and he " probably said his skin was hurting so they had a look".

He didn't say this. He has never once complained about it and he's never had time off school for it. Besides, he told me he was approached by a TA who specifically asked to look at it.

I've asked the school to come back to me with an explanation. They obviously don't believe me ( err not sure why?!?! ) but instead of calling me they chose for three of them to get him to pull up his clothes.

So is this a big deal? Wwyd?

OP posts:
unlucky83 · 30/01/2014 21:25

candy Is that because obviously the professionals at safeguarding with procedures are doing such a fantastic job? Hmm

It is about common sense - something which seems sadly lacking...maybe that is something that is only found in lay people?
There may well be problems with the laws that surround child protection -but then surely we need to work on changing the laws ...not tie ourselves in knots with procedures...
(I could say something about banging your head against a brick wall might knock some sense in it....but I won't Grin)

nauticant · 30/01/2014 22:15

was asked to show her flare-up in a gentle way (with the 'oos' and the 'aaahs)

A child's eczema is not a public property. It isn't an entertainment either. I suffered from eczema as a kid and I loathed any investigation of it that was unrelated to medical treatment.

Goldmandra · 30/01/2014 22:28

always it has just occurred to me that this may only apply to Early Years settings who have to show Ofsted any formal complaints they have received either immediately or on the next inspection.

I'm not sure schools have to do that. It will be detailed in the school's complaints policy which they have to have and provide to the OP if she asks.

Becles · 30/01/2014 23:32

facepalm The overreaction present on this thread makes me despair. OP, your son told the teacher he couldn't swim because of x, the teacher had no information about this and performed a quick visual check.

In the grand scheme of things this is such a first world thread...

fifi669 · 30/01/2014 23:32

No I'm not a SW, I'm an accountant :)

I still don't see what all the fuss is about.

Thatisall · 31/01/2014 00:41

fifi are you suggesting that the OPs ds being made to feel uncomfortable, to the point where he likened it to an advert about child protection, is of no consequence in the grand scheme of things???
Because while I'm prepared to be put out and made to feel uncomfortable in the name of safe guarding, I am not in any way shape or form, prepared to allow my dc to be embarrassed, upset or to be made uncomfortable for it. Ensuring that they don't is me safeguarding my children. That is all the OP is trying to do.

GiraffesAndButterflies · 31/01/2014 00:45

I am incredibly curious to know what job the OP could possibly have that makes her above suspicion of abuse in the eyes of the school. In a world where even child welfare officers have committed child abuse.

The psychic insistence that no one suspects your child is being abused is frankly a little grating to read. A) if they suspected abuse that doesn't necessarily mean they suspected you of committing it, and b) if your relationship with the people concerned is sufficiently distant that you're annoyed about this issue (ie you don't all happen to be BFFs who have known each other since forever) then frankly they might suspect you of abuse. The shiniest loveliest pillars of our communities have been not only suspected but occasionally actually been guilty. What on earth could make you above suspicion?

MothratheMighty · 31/01/2014 01:07

I don't think anyone is above suspicion.
But then I was raised Catholic.

IneedAsockamnesty · 31/01/2014 01:34

The day they try to change the rules so random unqualified people are allowed to ask vulnerable children to expose themselves to them just because they are in a position of power over the children.

For any reason at all, is the day I pay someone to do a Guy Fawkes

sykadelic15 · 31/01/2014 02:22

I agree with following it up. I would make an appointment in person, together with the 3 teachers and expect an explanation for what happened.

They were concerned or he said he was in pain - to THREE teachers? If he said he was, why was he not taken to first aid and you called? Are they nurses able to diagnose the degree of pain? Why if they "decided" he was good enough to continue with school did they not contact yout hemselves and say "X said he had a bit of pain with his eczema and we had a look to check for any particularly bad spots but he looked okay. He said he was okay to continue with school".

You are his parent. No matter which way they butter this, he either said he was in pain or they didn't believe he really had a flare up... in either case they SHOULD have called you.


I am furious on your behalf but also immensely pleased to read that you and your son have a relationship like you do where he felt comfortable telling you about it... and that he was listening when you told him about "the pants thing". He deserves an extra special weekend treat :)
ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight · 31/01/2014 03:02

Skipped straight to the end of the thread to say:

I have personal experience of this and no, they shouldn't have done it as they are not medically trained.

I would complain.

HTH

BoneyBackJefferson · 31/01/2014 06:36

Its getting really annoying that posters keep repeating 3 teachers when the OP states that it is a TA a HELPER and 1 TEACHER and I really can't understand why the OP incorrectly titled the thread either.

fifi669 · 31/01/2014 07:24

OPs DS felt uncomfortable because they'd recently had the pants rule chat and got confused. Showing your belly is no big deal. Showing your legs is no big deal.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 31/01/2014 08:39

Unlucky83 - you're still ignoring my comment that what the teachers did could have got an abused child murdered that evening. I have plenty of common sense thanks, how bloody rude! I never said that safeguarding was a fallible process but at least those professionals know more that lay people. The children's safeguarding triage team at my local authority would rip a teacher a new one if they jeopardised a child abuse investigation by acting in the way that the OP described. Some people are like dogs with a bone on this thread, they can't bear being told that those teachers were wrong.

tiggytape · 31/01/2014 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fascicle · 31/01/2014 09:46

Becles
The overreaction present on this thread makes me despair. OP, your son told the teacher he couldn't swim because of x, the teacher had no information about this and performed a quick visual check.

You have no right to despair. Your statement of events to the OP, no less, is completely inaccurate (see her post about conversation with head, a couple of pages back).

fifi669
Showing your belly is no big deal. Showing your legs is no big deal.

So. If you'd been off work ill, and your boss asked to see your legs/stomach on your return, with other people milling around, you'd think that was 'no big deal'?

Thatisall · 31/01/2014 09:56

Agree with this ^^

Why should children be afforded less respect than adults

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 31/01/2014 10:14

fifi669
Showing your belly is no big deal. Showing your legs is no big deal.

I am breastfeeding at the moment. I am happy to do so in public. However I wear a vest top under my main top that I pull down in order to keep my (slightly flabby) belly covered.

I accept that it is likely that people may get a quick flash of my boob (ds likes to share his happiness at getting milk by stopping and turning round and grinning) but I do not want them to see my stomach. And it is my body so I can choose that.

Anyway - that is not the point. The point is that experts have set out laws in order to keep children safe. We have to assume they did o from a point of greater knowledge than a load of mums on an internet forum. The staff members broke these rules. And lied about it. That is very serious.

Agree with what skydellic says.

fifi669 · 31/01/2014 11:22

Kids don't care about showing a leg. This is just stupid now. It's not about respect, it's about common sense. You know nothing untoward was happening, so why make a scene?

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 31/01/2014 11:30

But this child did care.

Common sense says that you don't break safeguarding rules in order to peer at some eczema.

ProfPlumSpeaking · 31/01/2014 11:48

What happened was not at all ideal, but there is no long lasting harm done. You have made your point to the school, OP, who will hopefully look at their procedures. Now perhaps try to move forward. I can't see what you hope to gain by pursuing this further - you will only paint the staff into a corner for no particular reason, and wind yourself up. So, my advice; don't follow it up.

fascicle · 31/01/2014 11:48

What the OP said in her first post:
between them they asked him to pull up his trousers so they could see his legs and then asked him to pull up his tops so they could look at his chest, tummy and back.

fifi669
Kids don't care about showing a leg. This is just stupid now

fifi a) see above - this was clearly more extensive than 'showing a leg' and b) please see my previous post - would you be happy to undergo a similar inspection in your workplace (by somebody/several people not in the medical profession, with your peers in the room and not at your request)?

Sillylass79 · 31/01/2014 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanFuckingTastic · 31/01/2014 12:36

I would very much have cared about showing any part of my body to a teacher, so I don't think you can generalize about how kids wouldn't care. In this case, this child did care, and I think that has to be recognized, along with the fact that it is inappropriate in any situation for teachers or teaching assistants to do that sort of thing anyway, as is being explained by others on here. No matter what the catalyst was in this situation, it was wrong and it can't be explained away.

MothratheMighty · 31/01/2014 12:53

In the absence of any written information, or passed on messages, they could just have taken him swimming and seen everything they wanted to do when he was wearing trunks.