To think that 3 teachers shouldn't have done this to my son?

[Marn1e]

My DS is 7 and in year 2. He's been swimming with the school every week for the past two terms and enjoys it a lot.

Last week he had a flare up of his eczema. For background, he's suffered since he was 3 months old and has been involved in clinical trials/ all sorts of treatments etc. I now generally just keep him moisturised etc and only use his 10% steroid cream when need be. Last week he was covered so I immediately used his cream and gave him anti histamine etc.

It coincided with swimming so I popped into the office on the relevant morning and told them he'd had a flare up of eczema and I was going to keep him off swimming for two weeks ( necessary because the steroid immediately gets to work but further applications are needed even when the patches are gone to continue "dampening' it all down.

Today was the second week so I didn't send him in with his kit. He's still covered but on the mend so he will be back to it next week.

He came out of school today and told me that a teaching assistant had approached him and asked him why he wasn't swimming. He told her he had eczema. She then called over another teacher and a helper and between them they asked him to pull up his trousers so they could see his legs and then asked him to pull up his tops so they could look at his chest, tummy and back. He did this but was obviously a bit bothered as it was the first thing he said to me when he came out of school.

I called the school and the relevant teachers had gone home, although the teacher I spoke to said there would have been a very good reason why they did this and he " probably said his skin was hurting so they had a look".

He didn't say this. He has never once complained about it and he's never had time off school for it. Besides, he told me he was approached by a TA who specifically asked to look at it.

I've asked the school to come back to me with an explanation. They obviously don't believe me ( err not sure why?!?! ) but instead of calling me they chose for three of them to get him to pull up his clothes.

So is this a big deal? Wwyd?

The staff have no right to question your decision as a parent that your child should not take part in swimming this week.

It matters not a jot whether they considered his eczema sufficiently bad to prevent him from swimming. It is not their decision to make.

I would ask them what they proposed to do, had they disagreed that he was having a flare up. What if his eczema was covered by his underwear so they couldn't see it?

I would also ask for a written account of what happened and who was involved from the school and an assurance that, should they ever have concerns about your parenting decisions in the future, they raise them with you through the appropriate channels.

No, I don't think the message did filter through that I was keeping him off for a fortnight so I shall acknowledge that tomorrow

But regardless.... Should the school have called me to ask why he had no kit? Or, ok, asked him but then not asked him to pull up all his clothes to prove it?

I think so. It's made me pretty mad

A child should never have to pull up their clothes to prove a medical condition or anything else for that matter. You can't even search children for stolen property so you certainly can't do that!

If they suspected he was lying they should have checked with the office or called you.

Some children are very inventive about ways of avoiding doing things they dislike, which is why if a child is insisting that they have a reason, or don't feel well, or were told they didn't have to by their mums, the school needs to check if they haven't got the information.
Pull up a jumper, annoying, potentially embarrassing and takes 15 seconds.
Send someone to phone a parent. That can take a couple of hours chasing to get a response, and the parent can be very annoyed about being interrupted for a trivial matter.
They got the call wrong, but notifying the school in writing will mean that it doesn't happen again. This is his third year in school, and they didn't know he had eczema?

They were looking for injurys. Keeping a child off swimming or PE can set alarm bells off. If it were me I wouldn't kick up a stink but would bring the form teacher up to speed with his condition. Maybe ask form teacher to store some dream in case of itching?

Goldmandra - yes I shall do that. Ask for a written account. If they're honest with me and apologise, then fine

If they try and tell me that he said it was hurting him and asked them to look then I'll be at a bit of a loss really because I'll know they're lying to me

I agree- I keep thinking about three staff members asking him nicely to pull up his clothes and I just don't like it at all. It seems like a real over stepping of boundaries when he's not invited them to look

They weren't looking for injuries, I promise you. I'd be absolutely gobsmacked. It's just not relevant at all. I know what they were doing ... Looking to see if I was lying .

Moth - they know he has eczema as it's on his school starting form. However, I manage it just fine and it doesn't have any effect on his time at school and never has. Last week it did. So I informed them .

They don't need to keep cream or medication at school

But they weren't definitely checking to prove it. They could well have been checking for bruises etc. Parent hits child and leaves bruises. Parent says kid can't swim for two weeks because of eczema so his clothes aren't taken off and the bruises aren't seen. It's not amazingly far fetched is it?

the school needs to check if they haven't got the information.

No. They do not need to check.

How long it would take to phone home is irrelevant.

They have no right to check under a child's clothing and no right to make a judgement. A note home or a word when he was collected would have been appropriate if a call couldn't be made in time.

It is never OK to do that to a child unless its a very carefully managed part of child protection investigation.

Flowery - blimey! He can be extremely irritating that's for sure but I've yet to resort to beating him

The school don't suspect me of whacking him. That's not a direction that the thread needs to go in really. They suspect me of not being arsed to send him swimming I should think. Oh and their investigations will have revealed no bruises but plenty of eczema patches!

Op how do you know that they weren't looking for injuries?

It doesn't sound very appropriate to me. I would go and see the Head if you don't think it should have happened. The whole thing was handled in a very insensitive way to say the least.

It may well be different in Schools, but I'm the child protection officer at a pre school and we are NOT allowed to remove or ask a child to remove their clothes, if they had a concern it should have been logged and a 'what if' call put in to the local ss.

Anything like this needs other adults to observe protocol, one adult could be on very dodgy professional grounds if they'd asked him to do it 1:1.
Were either of the others first aiders or experienced with medical conditions?
Teacher is in the position of overall responsibility.

Don't make me think they were checking for bruises because my blood pressure will rocket even further! I'll be seething come the morning at this rate

No, they were most likely looking for proof of his claim.

You might not beat your child but Some parents do beat their children. I don't know you or the teachers so don't know what they were looking for. It's just not far fetched for teachers to be suspicious and concerned for a child was what I was saying.

Yes, one of the staff was the first aider

Pig - oh I don't know! And I know that even the nicest families can hit their children. But really, we are nice, normal, etc etc. there is absolutely no reason for that and I will absolutely rage if that's what they're trying to imply ( although, like I said , they'll have found him bruise free today )

Exactly what Goldmandra said. I think it's deeply inappropriate.

I am not defending what the teachers/TAs did but having volunteered in school specifically for the swim run for a few years, I saw children constantly not swimming for a wild variety of reasons. Some very valid ones (broken bones) some just because their best friend wasn't swimming so that would be a sore ankle that they seemed to walk on fine, a patch of eczema the size of a 5p on their tummy (shown to us voluntarily)

Swimming is, I believe, part of the curriculum and any child not swimming should have a letter provided by a parent. Hence why school are quite harsh on it, it is like being excused from a particular lesson.

With regard to school knowing about his condition, my own son has a medical condition and every year I make the new teacher aware as sometimes information is not passed on.

At school we have spare towels and swimwear to provide to a child who has forgotten their kit, so I can sort of see where the teacher/TAs were coming from, and the TA may have never seen him get changed for PE so may have been unaware of how severe his eczema is. But when it is your own child, it is always an isolated incident but for the TA he may have been the 10th child that day who wasn't swimming.

I wouldn't go in guns blazing, I would just point out his medical condition and emphasise how much he loves swimming in general.

They cannot do that and they definitely cannot look for injuries!

YANBU, I'd be cross.

I agree Flowery, but that's not helping the OP. This child said he wasn't swimming because of his eczema, and that's what they were checking.

Some of the loveliest, most plausible parents have been abusers IME. It's how they get away without investigation. Don't get angry OP, it's a shit thing to deal with if you're a teacher and the stuff of lingering nightmares.

'but for the TA he may have been the 10th child that day who wasn't swimming.'

Oh yes!

I agree with OP. Sounds like they were checking to see if he was telling the truth/it was bad enough to prevent swimming.

I would need to find out first whether they had the message that you had informed them of his absence from swimming . If not then its a communication issue that needs addressing.

Checking his skin is a separate issue. If they thought he was lying I would be questioning what they were hoping to achieve by checking his skin
None of them are qualified doctors or dermatologists. So its not their judgement call to make, whether he is able to swim
. Therefore the checking was not necessary and the only reason they did it was to check he was telling the truth.

YANBU

I'm not sure swimming helps every type of eczema. My dd has eczema. Hers is really dry. It doesn't get weepy or infected and the pool can really irritate it.

She is 7 and I don't think she would be able to dry herself as well as necessary and apply emollient as needed all over so I would choose not to send her swimming during a flare up.