to think that as children get older they can't get *that* much more expensive?

[shhhw]

OK, laugh me off the planet. But everyone recites this mantra constantly - that they get much more expensive as they get older. How, exactly? I am already paying for 2 lots of music lessons, ballet lessons, riding lessons, school trips, presents to take to constant birthday parties, shoes and more shoes, clothes etc etc etc. So if I choose to be mean with pocket money, where does the huge expense come? And when does it kick in?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Once they are about 14 lots of things cost the same as an adult:-

Food
Clothes
Travel
Holidays
Admissions to attractions/cinema etc
Phone
Computer-needed for school work
Medical stuff-no free prescriptions/eye tests etc when out of 6th form
Driving lessons
university(we pay all books/accomodation)

I've got a 23 and 20 year old and I look back wistfully at the cheap and cheerful days.
They've always had part time jobs - but studying is important so we didn't expect them to work too many hours(more than 1 day a week when at sixth form)

The 23 year old left uni last year and has a full time job and supports herself. Just got the wedding and help with a deposit to go now( which we would like to be able to do)

Food. Ds1 can eat a loaf at a time.
Activities - training costs, equipment travel expenses. Ds1 has competitive events that require overnight stays.
School - travel costs, uniforms ds2 secondary uniform in excess £200. Snack money, school trips (France -£550).
Meeting friends etc £10 a time.

Food.
Gadgets (phones, ipods, tablets, laptops etc.)
Driving lessons/insurance/car.
School trips (often over £1,000 per child once you hit secondary)
Clothes/shoes for adults. You're not paying kids prices anymore.
Adult prices for things like cinema, bowling.
Eating out - they no longer qualify for kiddie menus or offers.
School transport/bus fares.

I have six ranging from 16 to 2 and the older ones cost me far more

As Ihatethecold says food is a big one, they don't eat like adults they eat like a pack of starving hyenas they also constantly want (but don't always get) money for eating out with friends, junk food, energy drinks etc school lunches cost more than at primary

Also clothes and shoes become more expensive and they still don't last very long. They become more particular in what they will wear and while you don't have to pander to their whims for designer gear it does become pointless to buy something cheap you're not sure they'll like because they just won't wear it. School uniform isn't always too costly but for my boys their pe kit costs a bit and they get through loads of it through growing or damage (I do a full body shudder if I ever stop to think about how much I've spent on football boots )

School trips become more expensive - obviously again you can say no but some of them are linked to their coursework. My teacher is pressuring my ds to go on a trip to New York as part of his business course at the cost of £2000 also text books and course materials can add up

Pocket money is a big one, yes it's something you can be strict with but it does really restrict their social lives if they don't have any money at all and even the cinema or a takeaway costs a fair bit these days

Then comes driving lessons and looking ahead to uni fees

I'm going to stop now because I'm scaring myself

When dd started senior school the kit was300 quid for uniform and other bits - this is a state school.

Then they went on a skiing trip - why a school thinks a skiing trip to bloody Switzerland is appropriate, that cost well over a grand (madness).

Thank Christ I only had the one child!

Good idea jean about payng your salary straight into their account - would make life easier!

OddBoots - thank you, yes, that's sort of what I was thinking. I do let them do lots of stuff, because I'm lucky enough to be able to do that at the moment with a bit of scrimping. School buses will never be an issue - there isn't one - I will be driving them in on the way to work for ever. Obvs I would never, ever want my DDs to stand out as missing out on loads of 'stuff' that everyone else (apparently) has, but it does seem that apart from lots of food, and more expensive clothes, lots of the things being mentioned could be classed as luxuries, and as I'm already paying for lots of those I am guessing that I'll see less of a difference than some other people whose DC are currently not doing all that stuff.

DDs are in private school (long story - not really what I'd have chosen, but obvs my choice and I have to live with the consequences of that) and I think I could just, just, just manage a third lot of fees (would want to treat all three the same), but all my calculations are of course based on what it costs us to have children now (i.e. primary age). So it would be really helpful to know how much I 'need' to factor in to take account of older children being more expensive before I can decide whether or not another baby (desperately wanted) would be a good idea for the wqhole family rather than just our broodiness.

Don't let's forget we do have a choice about more expensive/fahsioanble types of clothes (though not about the fact that more material to cover a body= more expense).

We have a choice about pocket money and days out.

What we don't have a choice about is that they will need to eat greater quantities (though, if necessary, of cheaper foodstuffs) and (unless we are very inhospitable people) that their friends will be descending like locusts at regular intervals.

OP, by the sounds of it we are probably a bit poorer than you and some of the posters on here.

Dc have had to learn that if the school trip costs £500, then they can't go. Meeting up with friends at £10 is not going to be a regular option: they get a set allowance a month and once that is gone they will have to meet without spending money. Driving lessons they will get when they can pay for them, not before.

But we can't get round the food. And dd's university interviews (or in her case more likely stage school auditions) will be coming up next year and that will involve various kinds of expense.

Some A-levels are quite expensive in the kind of material they require: we are lucky in that dd does nothing artistic, so it's mainly books and a few theatre trips.

Well the only hobby that has endured the years is football. So that's subs of £675 a year. Then there's footy boots/goalie gloves petrol to matches etc (3 matches a weekend.) Both DH and I involved in lifts etc.

School uniform has to be bought from school shop, all logoed, blazer, sports kit etc. So no longer buying polo shirts from Asda etc, no second hand option. He has outgrown September's blazer already and we bought big to last.

The trips are more or less compulsory. Not the £1200 sort necessarily. But the ones that tie in with GCSE coursework. He's off to Ypres in October for one night-£175. A business trip was £30. He had a day trip to France that was £60.

DS2 (12) has a residential to Snowdon for £270 (3 nights) then there's all his kit for that, thermals, coat, walking boots etc.
He does a Science club at school which was £55 for 5 sessions.

There is always something to be paid for.

A constant supply of bread for toast and custard creams on tap. DS2 is currently getting through one pair of school shoes a term - they can't wear trainers, but he always plays football on the astro at lunchtime. At least when they're teenagers you can send them out to work - between the three of them they're bringing in £450 a month on three paper rounds and one supermarket Saturday job. They still get an allowance, because I expect them to save most of that money for the proverbial rainy day (uni).

I think i'm similar boat to you cory - £1000 trips are not and never will be option for us!

I can see the food thing, obviously 3 year old hardly eats anything but imagine he will eat far more than me one day.

However I can't see how he will ever cost the same as he did when a baby - his childcare costs were over £800 a month, and we didn't have a choice about those.

Mobile phones, laptops, dresses for proms, driving lessons, school trips, post GCSE and A level trips with friends, 18th birthdays, socializing with friends, teens can spend a lot if given half a chance.

Yes-eating out costs ££££s. Basically 4 adults now.

If we stayed in a hotel now we would have to have two rooms-the two DSs would not share a sofa bed any more.

Holidays in general are an expensive time-even self catering in this country. 14 year old doesn't want to play on the beach any more. (or be seen with us if truth be told)

What I'm a bit surprised about is that most of the people on here are mentioning the cost of boys being v high in the teen years - are boys more expensive (this is just an idle question - I am not considering some kind of crazy selection!)? This has taken me by surprise, though I can imagine that they do eat more (I've met several of the type of locust mentioned above) than girls.

Just remembered - now have to pay FULL price for holidays or 70% off - so that's a big extra

but do not miss the childcare costs phew

Shoes! they hit adult sizes and lose the VAT rebate long before they are adult in many cases.

Food - they eat more!

Winter coats.

Even primark jogging bottoms & Asda school uniform gets more expensive in the larger sizes.

These are necessities, but add to that the cost of text books, Uni/college fees etc and it soon starts to mount up.

Horrendously more expensive when they get to the teens.
Constantly starving.
Bus fares
Clothes and money
Driving lessons
Mobiles and all the gadgets
the list is endless!

What many have said already, for mine it's food, clothing and footwear mostly. And university.

You're obviously paying out a fortune in expensive non-necessities, OP, so perhaps your children won't become more expensive as they get older. For those of us who brought our children up on a strict budget, the teenage years definitely get more expensive. Clothes are more costly and they're less likely to wear hand-me-downs, their social lives are more expensive, etc. Where my DD used to go to school in walking distance, she now goes to sixth form college which costs over £80/month in fares - and this includes Student discount, etc. She also needs a laptop for her college work, etc. etc. She's been trying to find a part-time job for months now, but no luck.

Re boys and brands. DS1 loves Vans and Converse. All his friends wear Vans and Converse or Nike trainers. they have been here and I have seen the shoes piled in the porch.

So when shoe shopping with him do i really suggest we go to Primark and get him some from there?

I have no experience of teen girls but from what I have seen on DS1's FB they are always at the ££ shops/beauty place/getting nails done etc.

There are lots of factors to think about if you want a third child, the one that spring to mind given your rural location is the tearing yourself 3 ways taxiing them about and the sitting around waiting that the little one (and maybe your others) will have to do while activities go on - as the children grown they won't all want to do the same thing.

It also sounds like you are in the income bracket where your children won't get big enough loans to cover their university costs and depending on what they are studying they may not have time to get employment while there, if you are used to school fees then that may not be an issue though.

My boy is 6' with size 10 feet. So that's adult clothing all round.
He eats three meals a day, but his portions are the equivalent of a double adult portion, and he can empty a fruitbowl a day. Plus snacks.
But compared to how his cousins live, I'm probably maintaining both of my children on less than half the cash that one cousin receives.
Different income levels.

Holidays and any other admission with child prices, DD is 13 so we pay adult prices for her at Alton Towers etc.
Her clothes are far more expensive for the same money I got my 9 year old three outfits from Next and DD a hoody and a T-shirt from Jack Wills. She also wants new clothes more often.
Food is a massive thing, eating out is very expensive. DD and DS1 eat as adults
She didn't do masses of expensive activities anyway and gave up dancing so that got cheaper.
Doing things with friends is expensive, they want to do something every weekend. Money for the cinema, food etc. 1D ticket, £70 plus travel.
Phone top ups, on top of pocket money.

DD just seems to absorb money. I am quite strict as well. She has no iPhone, £20 a month pocket money and £10 phone top up I won't get a contract phone for her.
Her friends all have contract iPhones, and around £50 a month pocket money. One had £1000 and a MacBook for Christmas as well as other stuff.
They all display photos of their 'stash' on FB, it is quite depressing and I don't know how some parents afford it.

DD1 sees a lot of what her more well off friends get and although she doesn't expect much it is still hard to not feel awful sometimes for saying no. Just things like MAC makeup, designer bags, getting hair done at town salon rather than the village barber.

We decided early on to give then a monthly budget and up to a point it is up to them to spend as they wish, clothes, cinema, food, phone. We provide school uniform and basics and have a bigger budget just before holidays. It honestly could be endless if we didn't give them and ourselves boundaries.

The decision re a third child is more about time you can give them IMO.

I am so glad I stopped at 2. Now they are 14 and 12 I realise it was the right thing for us.

If I had a 3rd football playing DS now i don't know how he would get to his matches etc.

notso DS1 is desperate for an i phone. Most of his mates have one. He just has a lowly Blackberry.