to think that as children get older they can't get *that* much more expensive?

[shhhw]

OK, laugh me off the planet. But everyone recites this mantra constantly - that they get much more expensive as they get older. How, exactly? I am already paying for 2 lots of music lessons, ballet lessons, riding lessons, school trips, presents to take to constant birthday parties, shoes and more shoes, clothes etc etc etc. So if I choose to be mean with pocket money, where does the huge expense come? And when does it kick in?

Sounds very Dance Moms like, Sparkly! I'm really glad not to have gone for ballet for my DDs. They actually earn (a little) money from their main out of school activity!

It does sound very dance moms. Though, in my own experience of dance comps (not our thing personally would add) they only usually go up to young teens, they do seem to be more popular with the younger age group.

Mum didn't want to waste money buying me jeans, when she could make me a perfectly good skirt -- aargh, SongofSixpence! Was your mum a secret twin of mine? In her case, why buy the school jersey when Granny could knit one in a similar-ish shade of navy, with added interesting bobbly texture? And why buy black school shoes when the brown ones were reduced (for the obvious reason that no local school had brown ones)?

Bird yes! exactly that. My mum and dad are lovely, it's not bad, but it has influenced how I parent my own kids

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Haven't read the whole thread but am I the only parent thinking that my childrens trust funds may go towards things such a driving lessons, a car or uni?

Felt left out at school mother on benefits always on the breadline free school meals kid,, no pocket money no trips def no skiing trips etc didn't even bother to take the letter home totally miserable experience poverty was defiantly not for me Have 1 DS try to restrain myself , he had a laptop for Xmas £300 but that was it , has an I phone 3gs but he bought it 2nd hand himself with bday money. I stupidly promised he could have these beats headphones if he got thru his entrance exam which he did , jeez £120 for headphones ???? had to backtrack and say too expensive as will be boarding so they'll go missing said its ok mum I'll take the cash still gobsmacked . as said up thread his 10 he has every spare penny I've got shoes 10 years old I'm lucky if his last 10 weeks last pair cost £46 how you manage with more than. 1 I don't know interesting to see kids on trains ,planes with their own I pad etc each what happened to sharing ??!! Been savings child benefit for uni costs until I lose it no doubt.

I wouldn't spend £46 on a pair of shoes that need replacing after ten weeks

I think it's mainly the huge variety of exciting trips and life experiences which they are now old enough to want to take part in - like a massive expedition to S America my dd has been talking about

But basically, they can't do everything!

I don't think it's kind to kids to let them think that they can have everything they ask for or to have no concept of what the strain is on the family budget. It's then a horrible shock when they have to pay their own way as adults or budget as students. Ok, we all want to make sure they are clothed, fed, equipped for school and able to grasp all the opportunities we can offer them, but if they grow up thinking they are entitled to have thousands spent on their hobbies etc and the latest whatever then adult life is going to be hard to adapt to. The way the economy is going I'm glad my dd and ds grew up knowing how to cook on a budget/grow stuff/ mend stuff/ recycle. They had dance and music lessons but the gear was second hand and if they didn't practice the lessons stopped and the stuff was sold. Thank goodness for ebay!

I think the really expensive years are the childcare years, after that once you've fed and clothed them you can spend as much or as little as you decide. It depends where you live tho, I moved to south wales when ds and were young teens and found that all sorts of opportunities were much cheaper than in the south east where people are prepared to pay through the nose

The really expensive years for low income families are when the child tax credits/ child bens stop but the kids are still at home

Oh silly me, I forgot all about those trust funds

My eldest 2ds's never got the trust funds. I think it's only kids between the gaes of 11 and possibly 7 that have them !

TheDrugs if your DS/DD is going to Japan presumably that is for the Jamboree - what an honour, you must be very proud. .

My DS didn't get in - had all my fund raising ideas ready.

Weddings - - you need to encourage your children to elope !

I agree with lainie. DH was hungry - yes remembers there not being enough food at tea-time . When his father died there was more than a million pounds in the bank . Neither him nor his sisters' uni maintenance grants were made up to full whack because his parents were too poor to help. recurring.

I just don't think about it too much. If the bills get paid and there's enough, then that's fine by me. At times some will cost more, at other times others cost more. I don't measure it out. (We have 4 sons and lowish income). We are quite unmaterialistic and I'm pleased to say it's rubbed off on the boys too. . But food bills with 4 teens and post-teens can be huge. However, we rarely buy crap to eat, cook most meals from scratch, etc. We got through a lot more toast, jam and cheese when the two who are living away were back for festivities!! I noticed when they were around 15, cast off clothes no longer worked, esp trousers - different leg lengths, waist sizes, preferences, etc. their dad buys clothes from charity shops (so that's an option for the future, I suppose).

Radio 4's More or Less programme was covering the cost of raising a child this week, and pulling apart the figure of £225000 that's been hitting the headlines recently. You can listen to the clip here, from 16:55 onwards.

(The conclusion is that the £225k is very exaggerated).

Midweek, that doesn't surprise me at all. I've always thought they must exaggerate as when you break them down they include things that most 'normal' families don't bother about. And, NO, I am not going to define 'normal family'.

Children cost loads as they get older

1. Childcare costs
2. Clothes - things from Next or whatever just WON'T DO. It has to be Holister or Jack Wills or Superdry
3. School trips - not just 3 days in the Lakes any more - it's a week in Austria ski-ing
4. Music lessons - £1k a year
5. Hobbies - tennis/swimming/riding in our case but whatever your kids do I guarantee it will be expensive
6. Computers - DD has a Mac habit, DS a gaming habit
7. Phones - both have contract iphones - painful
8. Allowances - theirs cost me £150 a month
9. Driving lessons start soon - eek!

10 Holidays are now massively expensive - four flights, three hotel rooms ...

And I haven't even mentioned the real biggies which are not strictly necessary such as school fees and university fees and deposits on houses ...

Pff, get them a job (or chores which gives an allowance) and they can buy their own clothes, shoes, phones (and bills) etc. £1200 school trips sounds bonkers.

Got to say, lots of these kids described here sounds awfully spoilt :o How are they going to be able to manage their money once they have to do it themselves?

Mines are definitely costing more as they get older. Food...how much food!! Clothing - DS1 has size 10 feet at 14 so school shoes, trainers etc are expensive, never mind the usual clothes (and we don't do designer labels in this house), hot water - they're never done in the showers and bath. Electricity for gadgets, bandwidth for similar, school trips, equipment for school, money to socialise....I could go on and on. What we seem to save from when they were wee just translates into something more expensive now they are bigger. I am dreading if the biggest two want to go to uni as I'll have 2 years overlap when they will both be away.