Re DH's friends wedding

[Juno77]

DH friend is getting married later in the year. DH is the best man. I am due to give birth 6 weeks prior to the wedding.

DH is going away on stag weekend (abroad) when child is 3 weeks old. I don't mind this, but it is a factor in my current annoyance.

Wedding is in a really fancy hotel, about 50 miles from where we live. We aren't planning to bring the children anyway.

We were planning to stay 2 nights in fancy hotel, as DH has plans with the groom and other friends the day/evening before. I was happily going to relax in the hotel, maybe go to the spa, go for a nice walk, just relax child free. Spend the night together, and wake up on the morning of the wedding and take my time getting ready, relaxing breakfast by myself etc.

DH friend has now told him he's booked them a room for the night before (along with a third friend). So, DH is staying the night before, and I will just have to sort myself out in the morning and make my own way to the hotel, already dressed for the wedding (as check in is too late to get ready there).

I'm pissed off. AIBU? And if so, should I be pissed with DH? Is it really his fault? Should he say no, or should we be more accommodating to the plans of the groom?

For the purposes of not drip feeding;

1. It's over £200 a night so I don't want to spend that on a room for the night before, by myself.
2. I'm not friendly with the bride at all

In any case, all this has been said before. I just wanted to reply to some of the people who had continued posting to/about me.

I'm finding it increasingly hard to bite my tongue.

bumbley - I've got a child with SN. Please don't patronise me with your 'high needs' references because I've been there, done that. I am an experienced parent. I don't need to be with my baby 24/7 because that isn't how we do things in my family. I've explained that the baby will settle with other people, because that weekend, neither myself or DH will be around. The baby won't stay awake crying for 2 days straight. It just won't. This isn't my first rodeo.

I realise this isn't what you do, but I really, really think you need to stop pushing your agenda and apologise for being so critical of others parenting choices.

Now. Can we please leave this thread to die?

A six week old is very young. Yes, the baby may be fine (most of us have said that) however, I think it is fair to wonder what would happen if the baby wasn't fine. Would the trip be cut short/would she not go etc. Doesn't it make sense to consider those possibilities?

Those issues are for the OP to worry about alone, in her own time, when it suits her - IF they occur. She will act accordingly at that time. She is an experienced parents and that goes without saying! WITHOUT SAYING!!
She asked you not to beetle her about it, as it was not what she wanted to discuss. So no, I do not think it is "fair to wonder". And it doesn't "make sense to consider those possibilities".
At least...not for YOU. It is none of your concern. Can you not understand that?

And yes, of course in extenuating circumstances I or we wouldn't go to the wedding. That doesn't just apply to the newborn child.

I didn't ever think that needed said.

Only 97 more posts (96 after this one) and the thread will be full, Juno.

SDTG - DYAC!

Well she did say that she wouldn't 'let' her baby just need her so I don't think that was what she had in mind when she said 'health issues' would change the situation.

93 after this.

DYAC? Wtf?

Then PM them Bumbley and let this thread die.

Right, who's with me on mission fill the thread up.......

What's everyone having for dinner?

I was giving it my all, Lj. Until I was DYAC-ed by bumbley, and now I am all worried.

Teriyaki chicken stir fry, with spring onions, bean shoots and rice noodles.

Yum.

I'm having pork chops, but not sure what with yet (dp does the cooking!!)

I think DYAC Is damn you auto correct.

I assume in reference to you iPad?

Teriyaki chicken sounds lovely! I'm in the bath whilst DH is cooking.

God knows what dyac means. Can't help you there!

Ahhh junos got it!

Chicken satay thing here.

Juno, perhaps you have also forgotten that I suggested going away for the one night at the start. That isn 't something that I would do myself at that age but I wasn't 'forcing my opinion on you/pushing my agenda'.

I think plenty of people have expressed criticism of other people's parenting choices on this thread (my own included) so unless you're asking everyone to apologise to each other and have a big hug fest then no, I will not be apologising for my expressing my opinion like everyone else.

Just read your post at 18.40 and I'm glad to hear it. You may have thought that didn't need to be said but actually, if you'd said it way back at the start a lot of this would have been avoided. You dismissed anyone who dared to suggest that you might not have been able to leave the baby and portrayed yourself as being much more concerned about getting yourself and your luggage there and sleeping alone - many people commented on that.

Bumbley - please read my previous post.
Can you not understand that?

I'm jealous of the bath. We only have a stupid short one. It's hard to loll in it.

SDTG - DYAC - Damn you autocorrect. There's a website of some very funny ones if you're bored some evening :)

It would appear not Pictish. What are you having for dinner tonight. .

You may have thought that didn't need to be said but actually, if you'd said it way back at the start a lot of this would have been avoided.

Why? Does she need to explain herself to you? Don't blame OP for your bad behaviour Bumbley!
It all could have been avoided by you buttoning your lip when requested to!

Our bath is huge and deep and lovely. I've been in for over half an hour, no immediate plans to vacate.

Bumbley - I didn't need to say that at the start. The childcare issue wasn't relevant. You made it relevant. There's no mention in my OP about childcare arrangements. None. It wasn't what I was here to discuss. I 'dismissed' people who wanted to discuss it, as I have no desire to discuss my choices. I am happy with them and don't need to hear others opinions. If it helps - the way we parent was never a conscious decision, it's just what had always felt right for us. So I don't worry about it.

I think it goes without saying that parents wouldn't go on a planned trip if their child was seriously ill.