To be quite angry with my friend?

[Imogencodpiece]

I feel that I might be being unreasonable but I just seem to be getting angrier the more I think about it.

I shall point out now said friend is 19 and recently single. We are all 27-30 sort of age range. I know said friend through a youth organisation of which I am the leader and she is a helper.

Usually said friend is more mature than most 19 year olds, didn't really drink and spent most of her time working, saving to travel to different places and studying for her university course. This is why I feel that we get on so well.
However since she has been single she has started to drink a lot and sleep around - basically a complete change in her personality.

A couple of weeks ago me, my friend and my DP all went out for a mutual friends birthday. Said friend is not usually out with us (as previously usually had plans with exbf) but was invited this time.
As usual the evening was full of silly jokes and making innuendos out of non-sexual things people said. All very normal for us :) so far so good.

Anyway, my DP is a lover of real ales and has been trying to find one I also like since we got together, so we are all round this table and friend asks if she could also try the beer as she has never tried ale.
DP says go ahead. Friend then (completely not realizing what she was doing I think) proceeded to hold her hair out of the way and drink from the glass still on the table.
I laughed and said, 'errr pick the glass up nutter' just making light of the silly way she chose to drink ( she was pretty drunk at the time). DP then said 'yeah pick the glass up, iv never seen anyone drink that way, iv seen people give ORAL SEX that way but not drink beer' Q good natured laughing from everyone within earshot, including me.

Then, this is what I am angry about, she immediately did exactly the same thing again. This time pointedly looking my DP in the eyes as she did it. DP tried to laugh it off but when we were on our own he asked me if I had noticed and said it made him feel uncomfortable.

The more I think about it the more pissed off I am.

Do you think I should say something? AIBU to be pissed at her?

I want to just leave it and put it down to her being young, naive and drunk and if it happens again, then have a word and tell her she is making a fool out of herself. WWYD?

Please no one mention the low down, it's what started all this in the first place

jennycalendar

What actually happened was that she took another sip from a pint glass while looking at him - possibly as she didn't know what to say, or because she was carrying his 'banter' on further, or because she was defiantly showing that she could take a drink any damn way she likes.

^this^
I think I would have probably reacted the same way as this girl (perhaps without the lustful eye contact which may or may not be all part of OP's imagination anyway ) simply because I would not have wanted the fucking creep DH to know he had bothered me, or let him think that he could make me act differently by letchily commenting about me

Jen where are you??!! Do you know the inside track??!!

Actually jennycalendar very well put.

I think Jen meant she knew the people in the photograph that someone linked to, rather than the group the OP is talking about.

Oh bugger! Sorry to cause any intrigue - I don't know any of the people involved!

I was going on info in the OP and reading between the lines to formulate the most realistic scenario.

I overuse the word 'actually' a lot (much as some people do 'literally'), so I seem to have caused the wrong impression.

Sorry again!

I've just read the entire thread, and see you've now buggered off so this reply is probably futile. Oh well, I'll put my twopence in anyway!
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I really, really can't see what she's done wrong.
You said yourself that you all (as a group) make a habit of joking in a sexual, innuendo way. This is normal in your group.
It sounds like that was the tone for the night. You laughed at her for drinking the drink 'silly' (if it was real ale, maybe she was sipping it as it was full of head and she was afraid of spilling it? Maybe it was easier to do that.
Then your DP made a lewd comment to her. You all laughed and found it funny, so she'll have interpreted that as the tone for the night. She basically gave as good as she got.
Good for her! What was she supposed to do? Blush, lower her eyes and feel generally uncomfortable while everyone laughed?
I think she did a great comeback.
Sorry to shout, but YOUR DP WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT! Not her. She just answered him back in the tone of the night, but because it was reflected at your partner and not her you don't like it.
What's that old saying? Don't give if you're not prepared to take.

Not you Jenny, JenBehavingbadly:

poster JenBehavingBadly Sun 26-Jan-14 20:59:27
I know those people!!

Single post and buggers off! Talk about teasing!

Point of information on the similarity or otherwise between sipping beer and giving oral sex:

• I imagine the reason why the girl bent down to sip from her pint glass was because it was very full. People do that rather than risk dropping any on themselves if they pick it up normally.

• Needless to say, leaning forward and sipping gently from the edge of a pint glass doesn't look like oral sex to anyone who knows anything about oral sex.

• However, she pulled her hair back before she did it. This DOES look like oral sex to someone who watches porn, because porn actresses have to pull their long hair back as and when they commence a blow-job, because otherwise their hair gets in the way of the shot and the camera can't see what they're doing.

I leave you to draw your own conclusions.

So twenty do you surmise the woman in question 'did' know what she was doing?!

I'd have no idea what that action meant and so what if she did mean that?! It didn't warrant a Pervy remark of a Pervy twat of a DP of OPs.

Oh phew! Thanks for clarifying Detective.

Actually this brings a whole new aspect in the man in question watching porn and if half of MN agree with this or not!

Yabu.

But you know that, otherwise you wouldn't have flounced hours ago.

Twenty - thanks for clarifying because I didn't get the holding hair / blow job connection anyway.

Holding hair = being pissed and barfing into loo

Twenty three you have hit the nail on the head there.

So you think the OP's husband recognises a porn scenario when he sees one, twenty? I think you might be on to something there...

HelloBoys, I think she means that the oral sex is entirely in the head of the porn-watching beholder.

Young woman: holds hair back to stop it dipping into the pint.

Pervy guy: oh, that's what women do on the pornoscope when giving a blow-job.

I'm with Nolikeynolighty.

I have to come on here and post something , because this is one of those threads that has eaten away at me all day .

right OP , so your friend ( the 19 yr old ) says to another older leader of your group , ' oh it was so emabarrassing the other night , imogencodpieces partner said i looked like i was giving his pint a blowjob '. Honestly , how do you think they would react or think ?

I imagine you are still there lurking , so can just imagine you turning to said partner and saying ' OMG they are saying you only said it because you watch porn !!!!!!!!!!' Cue slightly shifty looking partner ............

Oh and for the love of God , please take this poor girl to your nearest GUM clinic if she has been having unprotected sex .

Is it not common, then, to hold your hair back when ummm, supping a pint or anything else ? If you have long hair, holding it back is surely necessary?