To be quite angry with my friend?

[Imogencodpiece]

I feel that I might be being unreasonable but I just seem to be getting angrier the more I think about it.

I shall point out now said friend is 19 and recently single. We are all 27-30 sort of age range. I know said friend through a youth organisation of which I am the leader and she is a helper.

Usually said friend is more mature than most 19 year olds, didn't really drink and spent most of her time working, saving to travel to different places and studying for her university course. This is why I feel that we get on so well.
However since she has been single she has started to drink a lot and sleep around - basically a complete change in her personality.

A couple of weeks ago me, my friend and my DP all went out for a mutual friends birthday. Said friend is not usually out with us (as previously usually had plans with exbf) but was invited this time.
As usual the evening was full of silly jokes and making innuendos out of non-sexual things people said. All very normal for us :) so far so good.

Anyway, my DP is a lover of real ales and has been trying to find one I also like since we got together, so we are all round this table and friend asks if she could also try the beer as she has never tried ale.
DP says go ahead. Friend then (completely not realizing what she was doing I think) proceeded to hold her hair out of the way and drink from the glass still on the table.
I laughed and said, 'errr pick the glass up nutter' just making light of the silly way she chose to drink ( she was pretty drunk at the time). DP then said 'yeah pick the glass up, iv never seen anyone drink that way, iv seen people give ORAL SEX that way but not drink beer' Q good natured laughing from everyone within earshot, including me.

Then, this is what I am angry about, she immediately did exactly the same thing again. This time pointedly looking my DP in the eyes as she did it. DP tried to laugh it off but when we were on our own he asked me if I had noticed and said it made him feel uncomfortable.

The more I think about it the more pissed off I am.

Do you think I should say something? AIBU to be pissed at her?

I want to just leave it and put it down to her being young, naive and drunk and if it happens again, then have a word and tell her she is making a fool out of herself. WWYD?

PUT THAT FAN AWAY AND LOWER YOUR HEAD!

hussy.

Antler thanks for covering your ankles. As i man when they were uncovered I was getting mixed signals. I thought uncovered ankles meant you wanted any man that walked past. Glad that is now sorted.

OP: AIBU?
MN: yes, YABU.
OP: No I'm not.
MN: YABU
OP: No, you're all wrong

What's the saying? Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out?

Evening Weare

Agreed. As I said early not uncommon. The reaction to the HS2 ruling by the supreme court (Supreme court judges all 7 of them are wrong) or the Dugan family.

Sadly, we are painted as vultures vipers to make it seem ok

There was a similar thread a few weeks ago where a poster was outraged when she'd been propositioned by one of a group she drinks with.
Not as a drip feed, but as a description of the group dynamic she described the flirty innuendo laden vibe of the group.
I think if you chose to conduct your relationships on that level you can't really come over all hoiky bosomed an upset when it goes too far.
And your DH started it!

WeAre - Did you not know of course we are. It must be that it could not possible be that they are wrong and we are right.

As this is real ale in a glass, I'm guessing that it was filled to the brim with no head (pardon the pun). I would imagine that she may have been a little worried about spilling it if she picked it up (particularly if a bit drunk already).

She was then mocked twice - once by you and once by your DP.

She then does it again, looking at your DP.

What is the problem here?

You are reacting as if she had picked up a bottle, huskily whispered 'oh you'd like that wouldn't you' and deep-throated the neck while staring seductively at him through lowered lashes until he gulped and loosened his collar.

What actually happened was that she took another sip from a pint glass while looking at him - possibly as she didn't know what to say, or because she was carrying his 'banter' on further, or because she was defiantly showing that she could take a drink any damn way she likes.

YABU

Honestly? Your whole group, including oral sex face friend, sound like a bunch of annoying twats.

Antler - That's good. I will join you with a placard saying "It's all her fault." That should work nicely next to yours.

Yabvu, it was a joke, get over it. I also agree with other posters who say that you have double standards and your comment about how she should have behaved, as in laughing it off, annoyed the shit out of me.

If you've been stewing on this for two weeks, getting more and more angry, then imo it is because there is something more to this, some deeper issue that maybe you're not ready to face yet and so your anger is focussed instead on your friend.

Yabu

If a bloke had told me when I was 19 that the way I was drinking my pint made me look like I was "giving oral sex" I'd have punched him in the face.

If it had happened to me at 19, surrounded by older people in a volunteering/mentoring/role-model situation I would have felt humiliated.

I'd be mortified if my husband made a comment like that.

Anyone worked out what kind of youth group this is so I never ever send the DDS there?

It seems like it's church group.

OP seemed certain she'd get found out and one poster a few posts back thought she knew them.

It's very strange - when I was 14 or so I went to a Catholic church group and went off with one of the boys for a grope and snog little tart I was and my friend I went with (I'm non Catholic) had to explain it away to the leader but even then it wasn't the judgey event you'd expect and this is going back to mid 80's!

I 2nd Logg1e's views but think in this case OP's friend could easily have a bit of attitude and was quite right in her response to her friend's DH.

The neck, Antlers??? Looking at a gentleman's neck is a well known come-on, you'd be opening yourself up to all kinds of lecherous behaviour from poor, helpless men.

Agreed HelloBoys as has been said all the way through the thread, it's the husband's behaviour that is at fault.

I wish Jen would come back and give us the low down.