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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this teacher is a bit of a cowbag?

242 replies

SaintLauren · 24/01/2014 21:39

My DD is 5 is they started to learn how to sing "Alouette" in school. My DH is french and does not like this song because of what it's about and my DD can understand the song too.

Today she told her teacher that her dad doesn't like her singing that song because of what it means.

And the teacher replied that - yes that was absolutely fine, do you like the song Ring Around The Rosie.

My DD said yes she loved that song and the teacher replied that it's a song about people dying from the plague.

Aibu to think this makes her a cowbag?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/01/2014 16:23

You're now hiding the thread? Just when I thought you might have explained the inconsistencies...

Pleased to see you've reconsidered your use of the word "cowbag" though.

ilovesooty · 25/01/2014 16:24

Ah, x post. Nice get out. Hmm

perfectstorm · 25/01/2014 16:30

This thread is nuts.

I don't think the OP was unreasonable, and nor was her child. The teacher is wrong - the interpretation about it being plague-related can be traced to the last century; it was never seen that way before. And lots of small kids would be freaked out by Alouette if they understood it, and good thing too. Empathy isn't exactly a terrible trait, surely? It's this age when they start to really ponder meat eating, IME. We're carnivores, but DS likes to eat free range now. I encourage that.

As for the OP's attitude... erm, it post-dates the snippiness to her. I am often baffled on AIBU by the way in which responders feel completely comfortable in making really rather unpleasant remarks to OPs, only to clutch their pearls and shriek in outrage if the response is ever anything but meek. Bluntly if you don't want someone to get shirty, don't make completely unfounded personal attacks on their spouses and/or kids, and if you do, don't huff when you get precisely what you ordered. I would not imagine that was rocket science. It seems that to some, it is.

OP, YANBU. I don't think it was a huge deal either, and the teacher may have been saying it as a way to get your child to think rather than a defensive put-down (she may well not know what Alouette even means - I did French GCSE and hadn't a clue until I just googled, and then my eyes popped out), and while her info is mistaken, there are graphic kids' rhymes in this country, too. But if my child reported that my initial reaction would be to think it sounded arsey as well. Not a huge deal, but definitely minor eyeroll-inducing.

Justholdthesmile · 25/01/2014 16:30

Bloody hell Sooty what more do you want?

With an internet forum full of virtual strangers you generally have to take things at face value.

Anyway the OP said yesterday -

She is a shy and quiet child and would have carried on singing it but after talking to my DH about it and knowing he did not like it either she felt reassured that she didn't have to sing it if she didn't want to.

You moan that she's leaving without clearing up the inconsistencies - she cleans this up before she goes and then you moan it's a "nice get out"

What more do you want the OP to do or say? I know it's the general rule to disagree on here but you seem absolutely determined to pick fault and disagree at every point.

WilsonFrickett · 25/01/2014 16:32

I'm getting really, really pissed off with the continual refrain of 'vipers, keyboard warriors, nasty people on AIBU ripping lovely people to shreds' which seems to be continually trotted out wheneverr most respondents agree that, yes, OP is BU.

It is tedious. And its not as if op hasnt been punchy in her own posting style understatement

Justholdthesmile · 25/01/2014 16:36

As for the OP's attitude... erm, it post-dates the snippiness to her. I am often baffled on AIBU by the way in which responders feel completely comfortable in making really rather unpleasant remarks to OPs, only to clutch their pearls and shriek in outrage if the response is ever anything but meek. Bluntly if you don't want someone to get shirty, don't make completely unfounded personal attacks on their spouses and/or kids, and if you do, don't huff when you get precisely what you ordered.

Storm you have just written (perfectly) one of the things I absolutely loathe about AIBU.

Why is it ok to goad someone and continually berate them and then be horrified when they react? If you can't take it then don't give it out. It's fairly simple.

ilovesooty · 25/01/2014 16:36

The OP's attitude was apparent from her choice of thread title and many responded to that. She set the tone herself and now perhaps realises, very belatedly, that this was at the very least an error of judgement.

I'm not "moaning". I'm simply observing that the timing of the thread hiding is somewhat convenient.

perfectstorm · 25/01/2014 16:39

That's a shame, Wilson. Perhaps you'll have to cope with the fact that some people in turn find your own viewpoint on that unreasonable? Given you're so very concerned to protect people's rights to voice opinions, and all.

Justholdthesmile · 25/01/2014 16:39

How is it convenient?

I actually agree that this thread has run it's course. What else would you like added to it? What else can the OP say without repeating herself.

The OP already said way back that she shouldn't have used the term "cowbag".

Justholdthesmile · 25/01/2014 16:41

It is tedious. And its not as if op hasnt been punchy in her own posting style

Hmm. Perhaps you should read what perfectstorm said, it might I don't know ... open your eyes.

ilovesooty · 25/01/2014 16:41

I would rather have liked the OP to acknowledge that it's pretty offensive to say "you sound tapped" and "you are unhinged" to people who disagree with her. Never mind.

perfectstorm · 25/01/2014 16:43

Then perhaps those people shouldn't invent scenarios in which her husband is a controlling nightmare, sooty? Just a thought.

WilsonFrickett · 25/01/2014 16:45

Oh I think I'll just about manage to cope perfectstorm.

ilovesooty · 25/01/2014 16:45

You can refute scenarios people present without using language like that.

perfectstorm · 25/01/2014 16:55

Yeah, she could. People could all post differently. But I don't see why only one side is ever treated with outrage over that.

Good to hear, Wilson. I was fretting. Wink

Nocturtle · 25/01/2014 16:57

This thread should have been posted in the "I am not being unreasonable" forum.

OP, at no stage have you shown any ambivalence about this situation, so I'm confused as to why you are asking the question in the first place.

Justholdthesmile · 25/01/2014 16:59

You can refute scenarios people present without using language like that.

True, but on AIBU it's all rather pointless. I've seen it on many threads that people just won't listen to the OP because they have already decided that the situation in their mind is the right one (despite not being present or knowing anyone related)

You showed that yourself, the OP refuted what you said and it still wasn't enough.

You also didn't answer what else you would have liked added to the thread by the OP because you said she had conveniently hidden it??

Justholdthesmile · 25/01/2014 17:01

OP, at no stage have you shown any ambivalence about this situation, so I'm confused as to why you are asking the question in the first place.

Didn't she just thank people for giving her perspective and that she can see she was being slightly unreasonable and shouldn't have used the term cowbag?

perfectstorm · 25/01/2014 17:10

OP, at no stage have you shown any ambivalence about this situation, so I'm confused as to why you are asking the question in the first place.

Yes I should have explained to the teacher myself but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Yes I was wrong to refer to her as "a bit of a cowbag", I genuinely wasn't really thinking when I wrote the title and I don't think she is a cowbag but I do think her approach was wrong.

I appreciate 90% of the comments and can see that I am being slightly unreasonable and I definitely shouldn't have used the term "cowbag".

Nocturtle · 25/01/2014 18:12

Well, irritatingly I missed her very last post and was referring to her 20 previous ones defending her position without compromise.

Sparkletshirt · 25/01/2014 18:50

for example predatory types asking for her phone number etc which she willingly gives out because she cannot recognise a predator.

So you think teachers should treat 5 year olds with disdain because paedophiles hang around your local college trying to snare 14 year olds NigellasDealer?

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/01/2014 19:15

Sparkletshirt
"So you think teachers should treat 5 year olds with disdain..."

We don't know that the teacher treated the 5 yr. old with disdain.

perfectstorm · 25/01/2014 20:55

Well, irritatingly I missed her very last post and was referring to her 20 previous ones defending her position without compromise.

It seems you didn't read rather more than that, as one of those quotes came from several posts earlier.

Interesting, how very keen you are that others should admit to the bare possibility of their own errors.

Justholdthesmile · 25/01/2014 21:31

for example predatory types asking for her phone number etc which she willingly gives out because she cannot recognise a predator.

Theres a hell of a lot of difference between not wanting to tell your child a story where a woman is repeatedly raped to the example you gave.

A young child IMO only needs to know the bare minimum - don't talk to strangers, don't wander off in case someone abducts you etc

  • Do they need to know what disgusting details about what a sexual predator will do to them at age 5?
innisglas · 25/01/2014 23:01

Gosh I think quite a few people got a bit too carried away. I don't think there is any need to be so offensive. It was such a trivial matter