To ask ex not to bring DD to McDonald's AGAIN

[Anonfornow00]

DD is only two, she'll be three in June.
She has been staying in the dads every Saturday night for the past 3 weeks, this is a new arrangement as I was fed up having his lazing around my home "visiting her"
We've really had a hard year of it, constant fighting and battling about everything but finally we just have no contact other than hello and goodbye on the Saturday and the same when he drops her back on Sunday and the peace from the arguments is fantastic!

However, I really don't know if IABU here, but every week she's come back with a McDonald's toy and I'd love to ask him when he's taking her tomorrow, not to take her there again at least for a little while.
Like she's only 2 years old I think a McDonald's once a week is a bit mad, plus what ever other rubbish he's giving her.

Have I got any right to kindly request this or am I being unreasonable?

OP, you really aren't a food Nazi for not wanting your 2 year old eating at McDonalds once a week. Anyone who says you are have either forgotten how small 2 is - just a baby! - or are feeling judged themselves. You can't make him give more of a shit about making a better effort, but you can tell him calmly when things bother you. Poor you, and all the others on this thread, who have to put up with such difficult exes.

You can leave bread out and it doesn't go mouldy. If you leave it in a plastic bag it will, but open to the air it will just go hard and look much the same as it always did.

I am not an apologist for McDonalds, I have political and ethical reasons for not eating there. But the non rotting burger thing has been thoroughly debunked. See here

OP, you really aren't a food Nazi for not wanting your 2 year old eating at McDonalds once a week. Anyone who says you are have either forgotten how small 2 is - just a baby!

My thoughts exactly.

The whole "McDonalds food doesn't go bad" thing was fake.

Their burgers mould like any other food.

Please check my link.

Oh sorry curlew!

I didn't refresh before I posted that.

On the positive side
It's clean
The toilets are clean
The staff are clean
It's a safe environment
Chicken is free range, you can gave Apple instead of chips
Water or juice to drink
Free WiFi
It really isn't the end of the world

I honestly read threads like this and think some of you need to get out more (not necessarily to McDonald's, I am sure there are more nutritious alternatives but ALOT of them are difficult to take a two year old to, or in my case a child with severe sn )

He probably just doesn't have a clue.

I'm really not one for letting men off the hook in parenting -my DH works fewer days than me and is a very involved Dad- but I think women do communicate to each other more about things to do with kids. So I might be at work, we'll talk about our children, and get tips about nice places to eat, soft play, petting farms etc. Maybe he just needs you to make the odd positive suggestion rather than criticising the route he is taking, particularly if he is not socialising with lots of family types. As a young man and NRP he may need a wee bit of direction.

I'll often suggest things for DH -the cafe next to viewing window at the airport (my 2 year old DS loves planes), Brewer's Fayre for food and soft play, the Aquarium etc and they get on with it.

So YABU -McDonald's weekly is rubbish. But help the guy out with finding his way, tell him where she likes to go, what she is enjoying eating, direct him to activities and websites like daysoutwiththekids. If he continues with McD's after that...well hell mend him ;)

Brewers after is prepared and fried food as well
But they serve alcohol

McDonalds isn't 'utter shite'. There's good food and bad food there, as there is everywhere. What's utter shite is the fact that your daughter's father isn't being a responsible parent.

I have a feeling he is going to have to grow up without your input - he really needs others around him to model good behaviour (as you would a toddler ). So don't nag about McDs, be clear about your limits.

Tell him that if you can smell alcohol on his breath you are not letting him see his daughter. You daughter needs a father not a teenage brother. Tell him from me .

She is having her favourite tonight, fish fingers and mashed potato. She's like most other toddlers and would prefer chips over veg. Heston does have an amazing roast potato receipe I must try.
curlew her favourite at the mo is pesto. It is so lovely cooking with little ones though, they love the smells and learning what everything is called, what animal the meat come from etc. ok slightly off subject here...

It's revolting 'food', why can't he cook her a proper meal? Once a month is too much and yes you can say what he does when he has her, you're her mother.

Get a life! Is that all you have to worry about?

We used to take DSS to McDonalds occasionally. We took our two, as well, BTW. But whatever we fed him his mother moaned, tbh. She just wanted to cause trouble between DSS and DH (and she did).

A McDonalds is not the end of the world, imo. It is one meal out of 21. You get to control what she eats in the other 20. If your ExP starts telling you what to feed her, how will you like it?

OP, you really aren't a food Nazi for not wanting your 2 year old eating at McDonalds once a week. Anyone who says you are have either forgotten how small 2 is - just a baby! - or are feeling judged themselves.

Or maybe their kids have grown into perfectly healthy adults who rarely bother with junk food?

DS is 7 and McDonalds is a once a month treat, if that - apart from the time he ended up going twice in one day as went for lunch with friends, then for tea as we were travelling on the motorway. I can't remember if he had been at the age of 2 - probably not, I certainly wouldn't have felt that once a week was appropriate.

Having said that I agree with those saying to pick your battles. If he didn't take her to McDs, what then. It would probably be fish fingers and oven chips from the freezer, or chips from the chippie. I wouldn't start making pack lunches either, your DD isn't going to go bad from one meal per week.

I'd focus on the huge glaring stuff instead, like the fact he has taken her out on no sleep and probably still drunk from the night before . To be honest he doesn't sound in any fit state to look after his DD at all.

I'm too knackered to reply to everybody again and really taken aback by some of the bitchy and sarcastic remarks.

I just want to say thanks to everybody for your replies.
Here's a link I think some of you may enjoy / benefit from. I think it's lovely.

herscoop.com/posts/empowering-photo-series/

Thanks again

herscoop.com/posts/empowering-photo-series/

Clicky link!

Anonfvornow00, again I have read every thread and yes some posters have been incredibly silly BUT I didn't think any have been against you personally. Chin up and carry on being the best mum you can be.

Don't let him take her out again if you know he's been out on the lash the night before and slept on a mate's sofa, like you did yesterday.

McDs is the least of your worries.

Myfriendbill, what an unpleasant post.

I have made the discovery from this thread that I am a Food Nazi! I personally think it's bloody awful and lazy to go to a fast food place once a week when she is still a baby really, but then my DC are 4 and 7 and have never been to a MacDonalds and only to a Pizza Hut twice. They are not allowed Cola and other fizzy drinks only occasionally. I don't put that shit in my body so I'mdamm well not feeding it to my growing children. I am perfectly aware that when they are old enough to socialise with friends they will go mad for junk food, butthe habit will not have been formed. It's not just about food, it's about branding and marketing and ethics. Oh. and they are not deprived of treats.
That said, OP, I don't know what you can do about this, just keep on doing the best you can for her and she'll be fine.

OP is letting her child go with her father when he could still be under the influence and hasn't even changed his clothes from the night before and all people worry about is whether he went to McDonalds?

Priorities. McDs are actually a far better option, both ethically and nutritionally than most cafes, and at least the children enjoy it. Or would the child be better off at exes flat/bedsit watching while he tries to cook a meal with a hangover.

I know which I would prefer, both as a child and as a parent. What are exes living arrangements OP?

He lives with his mother who dotes on DD and his two sisters come over while DD is there and they're amazing aunties, the best family I could want for her, he was going straight to his mother's (in a taxi) that's the only reason I let her go but I've told him if it happens again I won't.

Oh trust me, after yesterday I know that the McDonald's is the least of my worries! His attitude and wrecked head made a weekly burger pale in comparison but as the thread was ongoing at that stage.