To ask ex not to bring DD to McDonald's AGAIN

[Anonfornow00]

DD is only two, she'll be three in June.
She has been staying in the dads every Saturday night for the past 3 weeks, this is a new arrangement as I was fed up having his lazing around my home "visiting her"
We've really had a hard year of it, constant fighting and battling about everything but finally we just have no contact other than hello and goodbye on the Saturday and the same when he drops her back on Sunday and the peace from the arguments is fantastic!

However, I really don't know if IABU here, but every week she's come back with a McDonald's toy and I'd love to ask him when he's taking her tomorrow, not to take her there again at least for a little while.
Like she's only 2 years old I think a McDonald's once a week is a bit mad, plus what ever other rubbish he's giving her.

Have I got any right to kindly request this or am I being unreasonable?

And being a RP means you have no more say in how your ex-partner raises your children than you do in how your next door neighbour raises theirs. Which is a fucking horrible feeling. But still, better than being in a relationship with them because at least you can provide a calm, safe, sane home for your children the other 80% of the time.

Mintyy
"If being a nrp means you can treat your children badly but rp isn't allowed to say anything incase it rocks the boat? Is that the conclusion we have come to here?"

In what way is the NRP treating his child badly?

But if you insist in reading the thread that way then yes, that is your conclusion.

ffs mintyy taking her to mcds once a week is treating her badly? that makes a mockery of actual child abuse.

I wouldn't mention mcdonalds OR send a packed lunch.

Wait awhile, keep working on improving the relationship and communication between yourselves and the HOPEFULLY you can bring it up at some time in the future.

I wouldn't mention mcdonalds OR send a packed lunch.

Wait awhile, keep working on improving the relationship and communication between yourselves and the HOPEFULLY you can bring it up at some time in the future.

Um...I think once a week is quite a lot. Once a fortnight would be ok, I think?

As a child McDonald's was a once a fortnight/month thing. Never really presented as a treat per se, just something that occasionally happened.

It wouldn't bother me, although at that age ds1 was having a pizza at his dads and eating the left overs for breakfast. Pretty gross I thought but hes 19 now and it hasnt done him any harm.

Y

You could try Anthony Bourdain's method OP he really hates McDonalds btw cooties are the American version of the dreaded Lurgy if you are wondering.

I thought cooties were head lice?

I think, given the other issues you mention with stairs and alcohol, that you might have to leave this one for a bit while the dust is still settling. However, your attitude to a weekly MacDonald's for a two year old is not as strange as this thread makes it sound. I have a two year old and therefore know lots of people with them and not one would take their child there yet, they are still teeny. Most people I know are still wavering over whether they are too young for a cup of orange squash now and again, McD's is a whole level of crap above that.

Actually he does not mentioned cooties in the article I posted but in the book he mentioned that some people say Ronald Mcdonald has them. I am not sure exactly what they are but apparently they are catching.

I probably would do what you plan and see if that changes things.

Can you ex actually cook? Can you write a list of food ideas for him. Say 'I expect you have all the food sorted but if you get stuck spaghetti, fish pie, cod, cheese etc seems to be a hit at the moment'

I wouldn't take my kids to macdonalds weekly, I'd rather have better healthier weekly treats.

Once a year at McDonalds is too often. You are being very reasonable.

I agree with Runner - OP is being treated as though she is being precious for objecting to McDonalds for a two year old.

There's a point at which you lose a bit of control over their diet by way of peers/advertising/school etc. That's a fair few years away from a two year old.

Can someone tell me what damage a weekly macdonalds will do to a 2 year old? I'd rather mine didn't, but that's because I'm not happy with the ethics of fast food production not because I think a happy meal once a week is going to damage anyone's health.

McD is not a great choice but it's not massively ridiculous. I get where the OP is coming from though, you'd hope ex could muster enough enthusiasm to cook three great meals. I wouldn't be happy if DH did this, but if he were an ex is bite my tongue.

FWIW I met a CM who put McDonalds on the weekly food plan as if it was completely fine!

So totally not unreasonable to wish he would never take her to MacDonalds. But totally ridiculous to ask him and expect him to follow your wishes. He'll be more inclined to do it to rub your face in it if he knows it riles you.

I'd absolutely hate this if my ex did it, instead mine (who's not the brightest spark) taught my DC that MacDonalds is bad for you and proceeded to visit every other fast food establishment for nuggets, chips & fuzzy drink.

Best hope is for a compromise, how about asking for him to not give nuggets every week or not give sugary drinks? I explained to ex that this made my DC very thirsty and seeing a lot because of the higher sugar/salt than used to and lead to wee accidents. Make it about the child not about your ideals.

Explain to your DC when you are asked why you don't got here and Daddy does that it's his time, his rules.

Or go back to having him at yours. It's tough and the decisions we make are never easy.

It's threads like this that makes me keep coming back to MN - can't imagine anyone I know in rl being so Nazi about a McDonalds .

I for one have never stopped my Ds having fast food and I'm sure they may have had a happy meal once a week at some point it hasn't made them I'll or fast food junkies, in fact they have grown into very tall, very healthy, sporty young men whose favourite food is a roast dinner

Do I go for a big mac or quarter pounder with cheese?

most places do vouchers of some sort now of the child eats free variety, could you print one off from.somewhere and say something like "I found this online the other day, can you make use of it?" Make it sound more like an offer than having a go.
He might not take it but might it be worth a try?
as an aside I always thought cooties were cold sores!

neither jupiter go for a double cheeseburger. perfect end to a night out.

YABU because that's probably what he wants you to do, so you can have another argument. Rise above it.

I don't think it would damage a child's health. That said, I would be extremely irritated if my husband were to have taken our children when they were two to McDonalds because we were conscientious about what they ate early on. There are parents who feel differently, but surely you have a chat about it and arrive at an agreement.

My kids eat McDonalds or similar probably once every 2/3 weeks now. I don't worry about it. I'm not a food nazi - but they're not two anymore.