To ask ex not to bring DD to McDonald's AGAIN

[Anonfornow00]

DD is only two, she'll be three in June.
She has been staying in the dads every Saturday night for the past 3 weeks, this is a new arrangement as I was fed up having his lazing around my home "visiting her"
We've really had a hard year of it, constant fighting and battling about everything but finally we just have no contact other than hello and goodbye on the Saturday and the same when he drops her back on Sunday and the peace from the arguments is fantastic!

However, I really don't know if IABU here, but every week she's come back with a McDonald's toy and I'd love to ask him when he's taking her tomorrow, not to take her there again at least for a little while.
Like she's only 2 years old I think a McDonald's once a week is a bit mad, plus what ever other rubbish he's giving her.

Have I got any right to kindly request this or am I being unreasonable?

Hang on Mintyy! In an ideal world, no McD once a week is not on.. BUT in this situation? And, ever taken a 2 year old to McD? Even as a relatively healthy eater, mine have gone because their older siblings are having a treat. A 2 year old probably has a bite out of the burger, and 5 chips!!! Would be cross if they having coke tho, but would still leave it.

Thanks for the replies everyone, really appreciate them!

It's fairly unanimous, that's really why I asked, it would feel out of order to dictate what he does with her. I wouldn't mind if she was older, but she's just 2!! He could always cook with her (he lives in a house with a huge kitchen), she loves helping out and I think they'd have much better bonding time doing that.
I actually sound like a control freak!

Ok my plan is to say nothing, but pack her a healthy little lunch? Does that sound fair? It'll save him money and give him the freedom to hang around his house with her etc?
But if he wants to continue their weekly tradition I'll bite my tongue.

Oh ffs mintyy leave off tbe food nazi act. One junk food meal a week will her no harm and in the midst of winter when money is short and the weather is cold is one of the few options open.

I think that's a great compromise-maybe even just phrase it as she likes to have a 'snack' bag.

The assumption that somehow dads are incapable of cobbling together a decent meal is really pathetic? This isn't 1952 you know. Lazy git.

Why label him as a "lazy git"?

Maybe just maybe it is something that they enjoy doing together as a treat.

Sounds like a good compromise anon. I found it really difficult not to try and micro manage everything when me and ex split - still do really. But it is up to him at the end of the day

Maybe he'll make lentil and veg soup this weekend?

Fucking thought not. Not good enough. E minus for effort

Do you want a sad truth? A friend was so strict with a NO FAST FOOD rule, told her kids it was all ears and penises etc, they'd DIE if they ate it etc and actually caused her kids to be 'odd'. (Ds taken home by another parent after football and that dad decided to treat the boys) He had a panic attack! We had sweets every Friday from our GPs, my cousins weren't allowed... from when they 1st had pocket money ,what did they spend ALL their money on? My cousin still remembers the thrill of buying illicit mars bars.

He may get bored in time and take her out somewhere else.

Let it go. If you're concerned about her overall diet, make allowances elsewhere.

Don't do the packed lunch thing, you'll be making far too big a PA point.

No it's not the way you'd do it, but it's the way he's doing it. At least he bothers!

ComposHat

I am not being a food Nazi.

First of all I agreed with op that taking a 2 year old to MacDonalds once a week is not ideal and I did not think she was being unreasonable to say something to her dd's father about this.

Secondly, I was addressing your ridiculous post comparing that to injecting heroin into eyeballs.

Ffs yourself.

really what is the difference between fish fingers/nuggets and chips once a week at McDonalds and having the same sort of meal at home once a week, or in a restaurant when the family eat out?

I think some people see it worse simply because of where it is served rather than what it actually is. Yes it may not be the best of meals but its hardly awful.

My cousin used to buy the beef for MacDonalds. He said they were really fussy about their meat and insisted on the very best quality cows. You may not like the way it's cooked but actually it is most certainly not rubbish meat.

Marylou I know what you're saying alright, I used to go to school with a girl who wasn't ever allowed any treats and she used to just binge eat chocolate on the walk home.
I'm honestly not peculiar with food or anything, she's partial to an aul fishfinger, a packet of buttons etc.
She has had (and barely eaten) McDonald's in the past, I'm not totally against it but I think once a week for a two year old is insane.

There's also the fact (and yes I'm definitely being unreasonable here) I just wish he'd make an effort to give her a home from home, he has a much bigger house and kitchen than me, I don't know why he'd even want to take her there on a regular basis when he has more homely options.

I would be really unhappy. Once a week for any age kids is too much in my world. I would have to mention it.

For me, the marketing and toys, and the habit, are as much of a concern as the food itself, btw.

Maybe they are order fishfingers, carrot sticks and a glass of milk?

I think this depends on how you set the tone as parents when you started together. I would not be happy with a 2 year old having McDonalds once a week, I think that's excessive, but my husband and I are unified in our view on this.

I am not anti-McDonalds but I think my issue here would be that a 2-year old could easily not know that McDonalds exists. It's really early for once a week.

Unfortunately OP I think you will have to let it go, as your relationship isn't in a good place with him.
However, I can't see how anyone can justify giving crap food to a child who is little more than a baby. Mintyy I'm with you and before anyone says it yes I am a food Nazi and proud of it. I won't be feeding my dc's deep fried animal parts on a regular basis.

Also, I thought the POINT of McDonalds is that it is full of NRPs on a Saturday?

I don't think such an unhealthy meal once a week is good for a 2 year old. I have no problem with my kids eating junk food, but it is an occasional thing. They do enjoy it, but they are 5 & 8, I doubt a 2 year old is getting anything out of the experience.

I do think you need to handle it carefully though. A packed lunch is a subtle start, see what happens.

Could you make a throwaway comment about some local eatery/ soft play places she has been to and liked or saw and wanted to go to?

I understand everything you are saying and feel for you Anonfornow00, but this is why he's your X!! This has turned into a different thread. Now not about fast food, its about your fear of confronting him? Would he stop seeing her if you ended up having a big row about this, or would he even listen to any advice? Sometimes you have to let go.....and like one poster said at least she is having a relationship with her.

I'm sure McDonald's sell fish fingers....

let it go, he gets to decide what he does with and how parents his daughter, nothing to do with you, the same as you can feed her what you want when you have her. Its only one meal a week not a big deal.