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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect a 'please' from a cashier when they ask me 4 money?

654 replies

ShakerattlenRoll · 21/01/2014 20:41

I was in Marks and Spencers yesterday I had some rude cashier asking me to move my basket off the conveyer belt without even saying please.I thought I would let it go even though I was niggled by her barking an order at me and being so rude.I moved the basket and said nothing.When it came to paying the woman she asked for the money without saying 'Please'.I was so fed up with her by now that I pulled her up on it and tore a strip off of her.She subsequently apologised and I thought that would be the last of it.
I went back in this evening and went to another cashier and low and behold the same thing happened there when she asked for the money.There was no 'Please' I thought (ffs) what's going on here? I asked her whether it was Marks and Spencers policy to be so impolite when asking for the money when buying goods? She said no but she was not obliged to say 'please'.

        I thought ok then if you want to argue the point lets get a manger involved.Along came a manager and he said to me that he didn't know what all the fuss was about and that the cashiers had done nothing wrong by not saying 'Please' when asking for the money and he said he would not be reprimanding them on it.He told me that by the cashier saying 'thank you'  and 'have a nice day' was surfice and please was not needed.

       I mean to say what is this world coming to? I was brought up to say 'please' and 'thank you' and i'm not going to stop now and i expect people to say please and thank you to me especially if I am a customer at Marks and Spencers being served by a cashier.

I will be making an official complaint tomorrow to the store manager and head office. Your views please.TYIA
OP posts:
Itsaboatjack · 21/01/2014 23:06

YABU. I am a manger in a service industry. I would expect my staff to say please and thank you. If you came to me to make a complaint, I would listen to you and deal with it accordingly.

However. If you 'tore a strip' off any of my staff I would throw you out pretty sharpish.

Bogeyface · 21/01/2014 23:11

Also what is this Waitress Theory

Waitress Theory states that you can judge how a person really is, despite their efforts to show otherwise, by how they treat those they perceive to be their inferiors. So if a charming, generous, funny and kind man takes you to dinner and treats the waitress with undisguised contempt (and worse, expects you to find it acceptable and/or funny) then he is showing you the real him. It is considered a dumpable offence as one day, he will treat you like that.

In this case, the OP wants to be seen as a crusader for manners and making the world a nice place. In reality, she is rude, demanding and makes the world a much nastier place, if only for the poor cashier serving her.

kali110 · 21/01/2014 23:12

So glad i no longer work in retail :-)

Whilst i agree a please should have been said, i think you lost any moral high ground op when you 'tore a strip' off the cashier. The whole tone of your post actually makes me wonder how your whole demeanour was with the cashier.
Marks will do what all stores do to get rid of moaning customers, send you an apology letter, couple of vouchers and then laugh.
I think it was disgusting to humiliate not one but two staff in front of other people at their place of work.

kali110 · 21/01/2014 23:13

Also did you really except competing stores to actually say anything different?

Waitingforflo · 21/01/2014 23:15

This is fantastic! Grin

You've helped me a lot OP, and thus made the world a better place.

I will no longer call someone an 'atrocious cunt', I will go for 'silly fool' instead.

Can you write some more? Please?

SuperLovefuzz · 21/01/2014 23:38

I have just spent the last 30 mins laughing my way through all the replies! Even my OH is laughing along and he usually thinks Mumsnet is rubbish (doesn't knows what he's missing!)

Thanks for the entertainment OP!

HaroldLloyd · 21/01/2014 23:40

If I saw someone tearing a strip off a cashier for not saying please in a shop I would think what a total twat.

Alisvolatpropiis · 21/01/2014 23:55

I'm not a cashier anymore but gosh I appreciate the posts from people saying they would defend the cashier.

I always appreciated it when I was in the role. So much.

I enjoyed that job except when encountering supercilious arseholes.

Broke my heart when one of my Saturday regulars passed away and her husband passed away within a month.

I used to get really attached to my regular customers, if they didn't arrive at the right time I'd worry.

I try not to think avoid how many have passed away now.

Alisvolatpropiis · 21/01/2014 23:56

*to avoid thing about how many have passed

ChaoticMum80 · 21/01/2014 23:58

UABU, I used to work in a supermarket and I'd say please and thank you every time because that's the way I am. I wouldn't expected others to do the same.

I used to think how worthless it was, I was saying it automatically most of the time without meaning.3 please/thanks a customer, 2 customers a minute for 8 hours. Almost 3,000 pleases/thank you's a shift while working on minimum wage, unsociable hours and serving many rude customers.

As I said I would always say please and thank you because it comes naturally to me.

Thank you for making this topic. (Don't want you complaining to mumsnet about me)

TheTeaFiend · 22/01/2014 00:07

Op has left to remove the stick from her ass. Wink
Customer services will ring the store manager more than likely who will explain how you rudely tore strips off his staff and nothing more will be done. So congrats on filling your evening getting angry and ringing every supermarket in town rather than forgetting about it and going home and enjoying your evening.

You have completely shot yourself in the foot with this post...To publicly humiliate someone like that says more about your manners than the cashiers.

Catherine1932 · 22/01/2014 00:08

Actually I go in marks simply food most days on my way home and I think their customer service is shit. They never have enough tills open even though there are loads of staff hanging around and the other day I went to the baskets only till and the woman tutted at me and said she was going to close. They always trot out this "thank you for shopping, have a nice day" bollocks which sounds insincere and doesn't excuse leaving customers standing in queues whilst chatting.

Silverdaisy · 22/01/2014 00:12

I would like a sales assistant to say please when asking for the money. I think I life if you ask someone (verbally) for something you should say please.

That said, I believe customers should also be aware of their own manners. The op said she wasn't treated well - but my word the assistant was subject to a horrible attack.

As someone already said, you ruined a persons day. If I heard someone speaking to a sales assistant like that, I would have to apologise on their behalf and ask if they were ok. They are human with feelings - not your servants.

Juno77 · 22/01/2014 06:22

The sales assistant isn't asking for something though. You need to pay the shop to complete the transaction for the things you want. The assistant is merely there as the middle man, taking payment on behalf of the shop. You don't expect the self service till to say please.

Sure, it's nice to say please. It's nice to say thank you. Personally I would wait, and only say thank you at the end if the customer had given me reason to say thanks (i.e. not been an arse) but you should never expect them to say please.

The assistants aren't getting anything from you.

greenfolder · 22/01/2014 07:09

If someone is pleasant enough,ie smiley and polite their exact words are not important. So, sorry for keeping you,is it still raining out? That 54 ,enter your pin, thank you is polite. Grumpy sullen silence with a please thrown in is not polite.
The only time I have pointed out bad service and I did it by mentioning at the desk rather than summoning a manager was when 2 teenage boys on adjacent tills were discussing their private lives through me and used the s word.

greenfolder · 22/01/2014 07:13

I also remember nasty leasehold who actually made me cry when I worked in marks at 17 on a till. The previous customer who was still packing up on the shelf behind gave him a price of her mind. With hindsight she was probably a mum of teenagers and I looked about 14

LackingEnergy · 22/01/2014 07:17

Yabu to expect a please esp if you behave like that. You wouldn't have gotten a thank you or a have a nice day from me after that little performance

Yabu in leaving a shopping basket on the conveyor belt. This is not where baskets belong and the cashier was perfectly right to ask you to move it

YWBVU if you write a letter of complaint esp since it would seem you wasted everyone's time with a non issue that for some reason you feel the need to escalate :-/

HTH

Joules68 · 22/01/2014 07:21

I'm a cashier

I say hello to my customers... We chat a bit whilst i scan, then I usually say something along the lines of 'that all comes to £, are you paying card or cash? Then I say thank you at the end,enjoy your day etc etc

I think too many pleases and thank you'd comes across as gushy and not 'real'. As if you've been trained to talk off a script. It feels false.

I think most customers prefer a little chat rather than a forced stream of pleases/thankyous

ZillionChocolate · 22/01/2014 07:21

I think ignoring Asda in the survey of major supermarkets is rude.

kungfupannda · 22/01/2014 07:25

Assuming that this is actually true - and I am finding it a little hard to believe that anyone would actually be daft enough (or have the mental energy) to ring other supermarkets to seek vindication of a complaint to a completely different supermarket - you were spectacularly rude and slightly hysterical.

I'm fairly sure that I've had cashiers say "That'll be x amount" or "That'll be x amount please" or "x amount" or "x amount, if you'd like to insert your card" and many, many variations thereof. They're informing you of the cost - not asking you if you'd like to make a donation.

Bingbongbinglybunglyboo · 22/01/2014 07:27

Op, you say you tore a strip off a shop assistant for not saying please?

Are you not in the slightest bit ashamed of publicising your extreem rudeness? Your rudeness goes well beyond a shop assistant not saying please.

Did you realise when you posted that you would be coming across like an absolute cock?

That poor assistant, who knows what kind of shit she had going on that day. And you just made it worse. Well done.

picnicbasketcase · 22/01/2014 07:27

Actually, I partly agree with you OP, I think it is nicer if cashiers say please and thank you. When I worked in a shop, I said both.
However, any point you may have had has been lost because you were so abominably rude in return. Your rudeness trumped theirs and ended up cancelling theirs out. Correcting another adult's manners whilst they're trying to do their job is not reasonable behaviour. HTH.

higgle · 22/01/2014 07:40

YANBU, but the cashiers you dealt with were charm personified compared with the lot in my local Tesco. The customer in front of me is usually someone they know and chat slowly to as they process the shopping (last week the chat was of a racist nature about Eastern Europeans). They then tend to find a colleague to chat to while they ignore me and put my shopping through, and if there is any converstation tends to be them ranting about how awful it is working in Tesco. I do expect higher standards of M&S and for politeness Waitrose is the place to go, but I can't afford to do all my shopping there. There is hope though, the nicest shop assistant I have ever come across was in Iceland in Dursley just before Christmas.

ShitOnAStick · 22/01/2014 07:42

Op you seem incredibly rude and unpleasant. I don't think much of your manners either. You were much ruder than the checkout assistant. YABVU if this is even true

needaholidaynow · 22/01/2014 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.