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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect a 'please' from a cashier when they ask me 4 money?

654 replies

ShakerattlenRoll · 21/01/2014 20:41

I was in Marks and Spencers yesterday I had some rude cashier asking me to move my basket off the conveyer belt without even saying please.I thought I would let it go even though I was niggled by her barking an order at me and being so rude.I moved the basket and said nothing.When it came to paying the woman she asked for the money without saying 'Please'.I was so fed up with her by now that I pulled her up on it and tore a strip off of her.She subsequently apologised and I thought that would be the last of it.
I went back in this evening and went to another cashier and low and behold the same thing happened there when she asked for the money.There was no 'Please' I thought (ffs) what's going on here? I asked her whether it was Marks and Spencers policy to be so impolite when asking for the money when buying goods? She said no but she was not obliged to say 'please'.

        I thought ok then if you want to argue the point lets get a manger involved.Along came a manager and he said to me that he didn't know what all the fuss was about and that the cashiers had done nothing wrong by not saying 'Please' when asking for the money and he said he would not be reprimanding them on it.He told me that by the cashier saying 'thank you'  and 'have a nice day' was surfice and please was not needed.

       I mean to say what is this world coming to? I was brought up to say 'please' and 'thank you' and i'm not going to stop now and i expect people to say please and thank you to me especially if I am a customer at Marks and Spencers being served by a cashier.

I will be making an official complaint tomorrow to the store manager and head office. Your views please.TYIA
OP posts:
TooOldForGlitter · 21/01/2014 21:38

Did you contact Farmfoods too, please thank you no alright then? They just CHUCK the turkey dinosaurs at you the bastards thank you please.

Bogeyface · 21/01/2014 21:39

If she had said "help" in that sentence Lego then she would have a point. If we were all rude and forgot to be polite then the world wouldnt be a nice place, but to take all of that onto herself, well yes, that is funny :o

Bogeyface · 21/01/2014 21:40

And this has reminded me of DD today.

2.5, not really into massive tantrums but we do get tears when the N word is mentioned. If you try to distract her with something "shall we play with Happyland?" she says "No sanch you" :o

Its very sweet and very funny, when she is so montrously pissed off with me that she is crying (cutted up pear type stuff), but still remembers to say "sanch you"!

TSSDNCOP · 21/01/2014 21:47

Ah but Midnite that'd provoke a thread asking "AIBU to expect a bubble of silence to surround me in my everyday dealings with service staff, how very dare they I attempt to interact with me without my written consent in triplicate"

Grin
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 21/01/2014 21:48

Shakerattle - I think you were both in the wrong. It would have been better if she had said please - but I think your behaviour in 'tearing her off a strip' was worse than her behaviour. I judge people on how they treat those they consider to be subordinate to themselves, and it sounds as if you treated her very unkindly.

For the record, even if you do say please and thank you all the time, verbally beating up shop staff does NOT make the world a better place.

If you felt you had to say something to her, you should have done so politely and diplomatically - and it sounds as if your behaviour was the polar opposite of polite or diplomatic.

RubyGoat · 21/01/2014 21:48

Loving the comparison, BogeyFace!

MidniteScribbler · 21/01/2014 21:50

Ah but Midnite that'd provoke a thread asking "AIBU to expect a bubble of silence to surround me in my everyday dealings with service staff, how very dare they I attempt to interact with me without my written consent in triplicate"

Dammit, I forgot where I was posting! ::hangs head in shame::

Moreisnnogedag · 21/01/2014 21:52

No, wait, seriously? Surely you are not being actually serious about this?

Just because you say please and thank you, it doesn't mean that you are not incredibly rude. Much in the same way as if you preface a racist/bigoted/homophobic comment by saying "I'm not racist/bigoted/homophobic, but..." It doesn't make it any less offensive. HTH.

Madamecastafiore · 21/01/2014 21:54

If no one has offered you their grip yet I will gladly sacrifice mine (but only if you say please Grin).

EmmaFreudsGivingMeJip · 21/01/2014 21:59

must dash I have things to do I find that hard to believe.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 21/01/2014 21:59

YANBU. I would have removed the basket myself. I would have said please. I would have said thank you. I would have remembered you from your previous visits when you took your bad temper out on me or a colleague. I would also breathe on your posh tomatoes, wiped an eye bogey on your pumpkin bread and packaged it all in a bag I'd started a fart collection in at my earliest convenience. Try Aldi, the last time anyone said please instore an instant hush fell upon all present. It was akin to the checkout operator partaking in mindless gossip.

NewNameforNewTerm · 21/01/2014 22:09

I don't think you've done enough research OP. I think you need to contact multiple branches of these stores to get a true picture of how right you are. I suggest 50 branches of each of the following stores: M&S food, Waitrose, Tesco, Saisnbury, Asda, Morrison, Aldi, Coop, Spar ... have I missed any? Then complete a naice spreadsheet of the responses you get from the store managers. Then just to ensure a really broad picture I think you need to visit Fortum and Masons. I am really looking forwards to your research, I'm sure it will vindicate you and prove all MN wrong!

Bogeyface · 21/01/2014 22:09

EmmaFreuds Those letters to the Daily Fail dont write themselves you know!

maddening · 21/01/2014 22:12

you are so going to be asked not to shop there again :-)

steff13 · 21/01/2014 22:13

I think "please," would have been out of place. When you put your items on the belt, it's understood you expect the cashier to ring them up (I assume you didn't say, "please ring up my groceries), and when she's done, it's understood that you are meant to pay.

Where I shop they usually say, "your total is $" at which time I pay. They tell me thank you, and have a nice day. Unless she said something along the lines of, "give me $50.72!" you're being unreasonable.

EmmaFreudsGivingMeJip · 21/01/2014 22:18

very true Bogeyface. oh my god can you imagine the photo of OP's sad disappointed face that would appear on the online article? With the caption below 'I just want to make the world a better place Sad'

SecretGP · 21/01/2014 22:22

OP, are you on glue?

(Also what is this Waitress Theory)

Anniegetyourgun · 21/01/2014 22:25

A reverse, then. Must be a reverse. Please let it be a reverse.

(I'm a part-time receptionist/cashier and I can't remember whether I say please or not - I rather think I don't, most of the time - but I'm ever so meticulous with the thank-yous, and always smile.)

SkinnybitchWannabe · 21/01/2014 22:43

Ive just got home after a nine hour shift on a supermarket checkout and I'm amazed how many MNers don't expect a 'please' when the cashier tells them their bill!
I've worked in retail for 22 years and I've learnt something new tonight!!
We have it drummed into us to be polite and to never forget to say please and thank you so I'm flabbergasted that you all don't really care if we do.
Crikey Shock

NewtRipley · 21/01/2014 22:46

Skinny

I care. Thankyou for your good service. And I know how hard it is to keep it up when you've had a lack of Pleases and Thankyous, and people talking on their mobiles etc.

I agree with SDTG

HarpyFishwifeTwat · 21/01/2014 22:51

I always expect a Please and Thank You. If I'm asking for something I also say please and when I get my change/receipt I always say thank you. I worked in a shop for years and we were always told to say please and thank you. In that respect YANBU.

On the other hand you also sound like a complete bloody nightmare. Courtesy is a two-way street. Try being nice to the checkout staff and maybe they'll be nice in return.

RiaOverTheRainbow · 21/01/2014 22:57

Saying please and thank you doesn't negate name-calling.

Besides which, you say please when you are asking for something. Cashiers don't ask for money, they tell you your total. 'That costs £8, please,' just sounds weird. (Though if you're British you will both say thank you several times whilst handing over money/shopping/change.)

hmc · 21/01/2014 22:59

Not read whole thread - but enough to get the gist.

You are a bit OTT OP! - however, I concur it is basic manners to say £xx.xx "please" rather than just a blunt £xx.xx. It does sound quite abrupt to omit the 'please'. I think the Manager's response was a bit dismissive too - however perhaps there was something in your manner which made him bridle a bit?

hmc · 21/01/2014 23:04

"Cashiers don't ask for money, they tell you your total. 'That costs £8, please,' just sounds weird."

Where do you shop Ria? I am genuinely curious because 9 out of 10 cashiers that I come across state the amount and then 'please' (in response to which I hand over the cash and say 'thanks' - I haven't analysed why, just seems to go down well). I would notice if they didn't say please (but wouldn't go postal, would just omit pleasantries from my side as a touché gesture)

Megrim · 21/01/2014 23:06

My local supermarket has lovely checkout staff. I have the most surreal conversations with them - the extortionate cost of 32HH bras, losing a day due to being so hungover after the Christmas dinner dance, how hard it is being married to a long distance lorry driver, the merits of various brands of fish cake.

Suggest OP needs to change supermarket.