To ask my husband to stop farting?

[WhatWouldCaitlinDo]

Seriously, it's toxic. Yesterday, he was dressing DC, aged 18 months. He let a ripper go - the strong, silent type. The poor child burst into tears, pointed at her nose and flapped her arms around in total distress.

Can anyone recommend any remedies? A cork up his bottom? Nose pegs for all the famiyl? Cutting out meat, beans, dairy, alcohol, gluten and sugar, so he survives purely on fruit, vegetables and oxygen?!

Help help help.

[AwfulMaureen]

It is not ridiculous. What's ridiculous is people who think that because they don't mind the smell, others shouldn't either!

[curlew]

No it isn't. If you do something that somebody you love and live with finds unpleasant, then you try not to do it. Particularly when it's something that is so easy to stop doing. Carrying on doing it delberately is just horrible.

[GobbySadcase]

Oh lawks. Whatever would some of the buttoned up individuals here do if they had IBS?

Blimey. I'd spend my entire LIFE in the toilet complying with their prissy request.

Yes I do fart freely. When I really have to go holding it causes excruciating cramps. The only way to avoid it is not to eat, which I do now, I avoid eating if I'm going somewhere.

Worst ever was at the doctors for coil strings check. Inserted the speculum, opened it and pfrtttttt...

[GobbySadcase]

Looking at the list - my wedding, yup, parents evening, yup...

[AwfulMaureen]

Gobby IBS is a real illness...it's not like a lazy bastard who won't leave a room because they're so full of themselves they think their shit don't stink!

As someone with IBS you're not someone who can comment...of course you can't leave the room every time. Not the same at all.

[curlew]

The OP did not say anything about her Dp having IBS. She did say that he persists in doing something she doesn't like, deliberately. Which in my book is rude and disrespectful. If everyone finds it hysterically funny, or just isn't bothered, then fine. But the OP doesn't, and is. So her Dp should stop. Simple

[CouthyMow]

Curlew - could you tell my 3yo to stop?! I think he would like to as well... A fart is a fart. The only place I don't like it us at the dinner table. Other than that, it's perfectly normal. But then, 80% of the people in my house have IBS or other bowel issues. So the one that doesn't gets away with it too.

As long as you leave the table, and say pardon afterwards, then a fart is a fart.

[AdoraBell]

OP if you want To try cutting something out of the family diet without protest just do a few days, 4/5 will be enough for you To notice a difference. FE, forgot To buy bread and anything like shredded wheat, or other wheat based things he eats, don't have biscuits/cakes and cook rice or potatoes , no flour To thicken sauces etc, for a few days.

If it makes a difference tell him you've noticed he's no longer emiting chemical weaponry and suggeste it might just be caused by evil foods. If not then try the same with Dairy in a couple of weeks.

Sorry if I'm repeating things, haven't read through.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

This thread is hilarious.

I'm a farter, they are noisy, not smelly though. I do have bowel issues which contribute. I have a large rectocele and associated pelvic floor problems.

I still object to smelly farts though and if mine were smelly I would leave the room and I would expect dh to do likewise!

As a family we do find farts funny generally. I know it's puerile but I have 2 boys, it's kind of inevitable. They do know not to fart in company though!

[SauceForTheGander]

I'm strangely fascinated by this thread.

[Foxred10]

YANBU. It is absolutely disgusting. We're not talking about a little toot here either, he's making children cry!! Of course he can't stop farting, but he certainly can have the good manners to do it away from other people

[quadro]

This thread is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

'Get yourself over to the next town. NOW' Lol!

[following]

farting in front of people is gross , even if you have ibs it doesnt take much effort to leave the room , lazy dirty smelly fuckers the lot of them .

[SlimJiminy]

Re: your own wedding day... I stood in my mum and dad's hall way on the morning of my wedding ready to leave for the church. I was with our driver (someone I know) waiting for my dad to finish faffing about and burp followed by a fart just popped right out completely without warning! Hilarious and we fell about laughing. So yes, I would fart on my own wedding day. Yes it's pretty grim when someone drops a stinker, but it's obviously not the same as having a crap in the living room. Not particularly nice, but definitely not the same.

[YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar]

I find that if you respond to someone's farts in an extreme manner they just find it hilarious and do it more. I tried explaining this to the girls I work with. In a bar they don't have to stand there. They can move. But no, they stand there waving their hands around, gagging and complaining loudly. The customers find this hilarious and do it even more. Its so pathetic and basic.

[SauceForTheGander]

I was pregnant on my wedding day and no doubt spent the day farting. 'twas a windy time those 9 months.

I'm just bemused that some of you think its ok to teach a child to have such shame in a bodily function - to the point they puke as an adult if they smell a fart.

It's a fart. It's sometimes amusing, embarrassing, innocuous - but always completely normal part of being a human.

I wouldn't encourage farting on someone, or disregarding people stuck in a car with you or at the table. But I didn't realise it was considered so beyond the pale to fart at home.

[curlew]

"Yes it's pretty grim when someone drops a stinker, but it's obviously not the same as having a crap in the living room. Not particularly nice, but definitely not the same."

Why isn't it?

I do agree that all the "it makes me puke" comments are ridiculous. But it's not being ashamed of a bodily function to not inflict a horrible smell on others, it's just basic consideration.

[CouthyMow]

I'm glad I'm alone today - my IBS is playing up, and I have uncontrollable stinky wind. I can't bear my own company. I'm hoping I've got it all out before the DC's get home, or I'll be giving them gas masks as they get through the door...

Pardon me!!

[Helltotheno]

Serious fart question, amidst the hilarity:
My DS, whose parps are awful at the best of times, does particularly noxious ones when he's nervous about something. This ring any bells?
Also, when he hugs me, he nearly always drops one nice for me, not! ... I don't know, all his insides relax or something. That ring any bells?

[ViviPru]

Charcoal Grundies.

Bloke lives on my street designed them.

[justanormalguy]

Hello all first time on the forum. I'm Dean married 2 kids from Pennsylvania USA. Okay yes I am the family farter. Thing is everyone else is too. The whife farts I fart the kids do. We don't do it in public but at home we all think its funny. Sometimes the boys fart right in my face and I run after them. I get back at them when there playing there ps3 and I just let one rip on their noses.....Its not done to be disgusting its just funny. The whife really doesn't do fart attacking like me and the boys. She's a very liberal lady who when she's around us she can laugh about it.....Seriously not that everyone should embrace being a family of farters but why bring shame and disgust to your own loved ones. Its not like I gas my co-workers or the boys gas their teachers they know better. At home though we believed in having a loving comfortable home and if that means a funny noise followed by a few seconds of smelly air so be it.........Oh this was funny what the boys did last xmas. My dad (grandpa) leaves some wicked ones and he sat on a chair for an hour and just fumigated the thing. The boys dared it other who could put their nose on the cushion the longest without turning away.......Silly
I know but they had fun doing it.

[CuntCourtIsInSession]

Bad wind can be a symptom of coeliac disease, do some reading up just in case, OP.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Farts are funny.
When Goddess made us, she wanted to add a bit of humour.

[MsVenus]

Try acidophilus which is a high strength probiotic, it may help with effective digestion.

www.planetorganic.com/biocare-bio-acidophilus-1.html