To ask my husband to stop farting?

[WhatWouldCaitlinDo]

Seriously, it's toxic. Yesterday, he was dressing DC, aged 18 months. He let a ripper go - the strong, silent type. The poor child burst into tears, pointed at her nose and flapped her arms around in total distress.

Can anyone recommend any remedies? A cork up his bottom? Nose pegs for all the famiyl? Cutting out meat, beans, dairy, alcohol, gluten and sugar, so he survives purely on fruit, vegetables and oxygen?!

Help help help.

[AndyWarholsBanana]

I slept with a bloke once who I'd been seeing for a few weeks and really liked. On every thrust, he did a massive loud noxious fart. In those days I used to enjoy a post-coital ciggie buy was genuinely worried that the room would go up. I didn't repeat the experience.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

"the gag-inducing stench of the dead weasel festering in my father's lower intenstines" ?

My sister is a mumsnetter. Got to be.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

andy now that really DID make me laugh. You poor sod.

[Bettercallsaul1]

This thread is hilarious but obnoxious!

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

And neil too. those poor kids.

Did you happen to notice if they still had their eyebrows?

[Freyathecatt]

Recently instituted a fart jar in our house. If he lets off a ripper in my presence he has to pay the fart jar a shiny £1 (as do i if i reciprocate). I reckon we'll be able to go on a stonking holiday come year end.

[ISeeYouShiverWithAntici]

oh. I thought the weasel thing was actually on that other thread.

[Janorisa]

I'm with you OP. DP doesn't chew his food and loves fruit and beer. His farts are horrendous and the smell hovers for ages. When we had a spare room I sometimes had to sleep in it.

[RockPaperScissorsLizardSpock]

Another sufferer here with a DP that has Satan's Arsehole

He's are not normal. The stench clings to material and strips wallpaper. ALL foods gives him gas.

It's normally a 20 second rule for everyone else but for him it's 20 minutes, crack a window and light a match.

I must admit, when he is as far away from me as possible in the house and they are very loud and long, I do giggle

[Mishmashfamily]

rock

[SecretNutellaFix]

It's unacceptable if it's done on purpose to cause a reaction.

Genuine farts I have no problem with- normal bodily function.

[neiljames77]

My kids used to use it as an excuse not to finish their dinner. I'd reassure them that the smell had gone away but they said, "we're not eating it now because it'll have fart-skin on it". Maybe I'm just a bad cook.

[DoctorTwo]

I used to know a bloke whose farts were so noisome you could taste them. He used to use it as a tactic to get to the bar on a busy Friday night. There was absolutely no way you could stay in the same room as one of his farts without retching.

[ElenorRigby]

DP's fart wreak and he actually farts on the kids.

DD 6 got him back this morning though, she was snuggling with him, nonchalantly turned on her side and let rip.

[EirikurNoromaour]

I hate disrespectful farters. Most of mine are in offensive so I let them out if I'm at home but over Xmas I had a dodgy tummy so I went to the loo every time I needed to fart. It's basic manners. Stink from someone's bowels is not something we should tolerate or get used to.
And a man who farted on a date with me or I'm bed (unless he was mortified and apologetic, thus indicating he knows it's unacceptable) would get nowhere with me.

[Coumarin]

The worst ones are from people who deliberately do it when they know they stink and then seem proud of it. I know someone who will waft it in your direction whilst grinning and exclaiming loudly about how much it smells. This is a grown adult.
Just weird imo.

Re the OP, he needs to look at his diet.

[Binkyridesagain]

I have 2 puppies on my lap, sleeping, both of them are taking it in turns to fart, it stinks, I daren't move as this is the quietest they've been all day and I don't want to wake them. I think I'm going to pass out shortly due to lack of oxygen.

[MarysDressSways]

My husband NEVER farts.. imagine that. Not even when he's alone. I have never ever heard him fart in 15 years. I asked him about it a couple of years ago (took me that long to realise, thinking he'd been polite all that time), and he said, no I never fart! WHY?

I was amazed.. I only fart in private (or by accident!) but sometimes you neeeed to release! I'm surprised it's not uncomfortable for him, but apparently not.

Saying that, I'm glad he doesn't, because I my sense of smell is fairly sensitive and I'd HATE noxious fumes about the place, I'd be furious in your place OP. A colleague once let a particularly nasty one slip at work and I literally gagged at my desk, it was vile. So YANBU!

[Oblomov]

I see farting as normal. Natural.
Dh had diverticulitus, so his bowel is scuppered. I would never dream of making any comment about how often he farted.
I fart too. So do both boys.

[Wandawingsthe2nd]

^ oh god are you talking about me?

[Wandawingsthe2nd]

Sorry that was to Coumarin.

[Coumarin]

Binky Puppy farts are acceptable. Very . Two puppies!

[LilyTheSavage]

A child in my class kept farting today. It was like walking into a cloud of green gas. When I hit the cloud I had to back-track. Revolting smell.

[Coumarin]

Wanda Do yours also rattle the windows? And do you announce you're about to do it? If so then yes, maybe.

[Coumarin]