To ask my husband to stop farting?

[WhatWouldCaitlinDo]

Seriously, it's toxic. Yesterday, he was dressing DC, aged 18 months. He let a ripper go - the strong, silent type. The poor child burst into tears, pointed at her nose and flapped her arms around in total distress.

Can anyone recommend any remedies? A cork up his bottom? Nose pegs for all the famiyl? Cutting out meat, beans, dairy, alcohol, gluten and sugar, so he survives purely on fruit, vegetables and oxygen?!

Help help help.

[WitchWay]

if we had a canary it would totally die

I must admit I'm the main farter in our house, followed by DS then DH. Very loud and impressive

I do eat very quickly - perhaps that's part of the problem & consume large quantities of fruit, veg & pulses and meat, carbs, everything really

[MsAspreyDiamonds]

This is what he needs, a strong probiotic to build up his gut bacteria:

www.planetorganic.com/biocare-bio-acidophilus-1.html

[AmberLeaf]

I come from a long line of proud farters.

Farts bring much hilarity to our lives

Holding them in leads to pain and a feeling that you are fit to burst.

I find people who are anal (scuse pun) about farting odd tbh.

I can understand not wanting to smell corkers, but some of the outrage on this thread is bizarre.

[SugarMiceInTheRain]

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's absolutely grim. DH thinks it's funny, as do most of his family. Both my BILs seem proud of the fact that they fart in bed then hold the covers over their DW's heads. I told them if I was their DW they'd be getting a sharp knee between their legs if they tried that stunt. I usually manage to hold them in til I get to the loo, though as I'm pregnant currently I have been a bit more windy than usual DH's are usually really loud and often pretty noxious. He did a silent but violent one when we were out the other day and I was livid as there were other people around. I walked away and pretended I didn't know him!

[MrsKoala]

It's not the farting per se i mind as i do loads, but mine smell a bit, like a mild veg smell. I have smelled others in my family and they are pretty average and tolerable. What i hate is DH's which make people heave and gag. They are honestly really toxic - way worse than anyone elses i have ever smelled. They are way worse after certain foods but he refuses to change his diet as he likes the food and doesn't mind his farts.

eurochic you said you bet people who fart like this can hold them in at work, cinema, etc. Well not my DH, he refuses to. We were at a posh dinner all in evening wear and he cleared a 3metre radius around us. Once we were in a restaurant and the people behind us actually told him he was disgusting and moved. It is so fucking awful and humiliating but he wont hold them in.

[LittleBabyPigsus]

MrsKoala can I ask what foods they are? Also let your husband know that letting a problematic digestive system carry on can mean that eventually you can't tolerate any gluten or lactose at all, or can lead to the more serious kinds of IBS. It can make you really ill - a friend has Crohn's and is a coeliac, but her gluten intolerance was only discovered when she was getting very severely anaemic. Problems with wheat and other digestive issues can actually stop you from absorbing iron and other nutrients.

[MrsKoala]

It's after chinese, thai, indian, middle eastern, mexican food. I think it's the spices, anything with a coconutty sauce particularly. The only person i have smelled similar (but still not as bad) was a friend who had allergies and IBS.

[Openupyoureyes]

I'm currently having chemotherapy treatment. Chemo-fuelled farts are definitely not to be sniffed at!

[curlew]

So. All these people who think it's absolutely fine to fart whenever and wherever you want to.

Would you also shit in the living room? If not why not?

Would you fart, say, while at the deathbed of a dying relative? At your own wedding? In a posh restaurant? At parent's evening? If not, then why can't you wait long enough to leave the room anywhere else?

[Minimammoth]

Charcoal butt plug is the answer. I will put forward this as an entrepreneurial idea to the Dragons.

[MrsKoala]

DH would say because he'd then have to clear it up. The smell from a fart goes away. And yes he pretty much farts everywhere, he sees nothing wrong with it.

[AmberLeaf]

Would I shit in the living room?

that's a silly question.

shit is matter.

farts are not. can you not see the difference?

[hmc]

I don't know why some people dismiss this kind of thing with an airy "its a normal bodily function" - I am extremely sensitive to smell and an eggy fart can actually induce me to vomit

[AmberLeaf]

Because it is a normal bodily function.

[hmc]

Christ on a bike - how obtuse can a person be!

[AmberLeaf]

im not being obtuse.

I understand what you are saying. I just think it is your issue not that of the people who are doing something that is normal.

[AwfulMaureen]

Amber normal or not it is a disgusting thing...just because something is normal does not make it reasonable to do it in front of others.

Nose picking, farting, fanny scratching...they're all NORMAL but you don't need to share them.

[AwfulMaureen]

AND whilst shit is certainly more solid, farts still contain particles of shit. They do. And I don't want them up my nose or in my throat. Keep them where they belong in the toilet.

[AmberLeaf]

the only thing that nose picking and fanny scratching have in common with farting is that some people find them offensive.

farting happens whether you like it or not. The other two are a choice.

[AmberLeaf]

Face it, people fart all day long. so you're getting those shit particles whether you like it or not.

[curlew]

Of course it's a normal bodily function! So is shitting. And peeing. And vomiting and wanking. How do you decide which you do in public and which you don't?

[AwfulMaureen]

But if SOME people find it offensive isn't that enough? I mean God! Farting does NOT happen whether you like it or not..you can clamp it in! It happens eventually....and there's the key! EVENTUALLY. Which means you have time to get out of the room you're in.

Why would you want to share your arse action? Keep it to yourself.

[CouthyMow]

I have IBS. I fart. And cutting out dairy doesn't help - not if 3yo DS3's farts are anything to go by. I pity ANYONE who shares a house with him when he's older. Though I suspect it's because currently his diet seems to consist of 20% protein, 20% carbs, and 60% fruit and veg. If I left him in a greengrocer's overnight, the bloody greengrocer would be out of business by the following morning.

My bedroom is downstairs, AND over the other side of the house to his. He wakes me up with his farts. Then he's also woken himself up, and starts crying. So I go up to him, and the conversation usually goes like this :

DS3 : I cryin.
Me : I know, time for sleep.
DS3 : no, I cryin, bed stinky.
Me : I know, you popped, but now you need to sleep.
DS3 : No sleep, stinky. Me snuggle mummy's bed.
Me : Erm, NOPE!

[curlew]

And the point is that the OP doesn't like it. So her Dp shouldn't do it. Simple.

[AmberLeaf]

op doesn't like it so her dp shouldn't do it? Really?

that is ridiculous