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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About neighbours taking in deliveries for us?

242 replies

Plateofcrumbs · 19/01/2014 09:18

DH and I both work full time, often long hours. We do a large chunk of our shopping online (clothes, stuff for the house, books) which often results in courier/Royal Mail deliveries whilst we are out being left with a neighbour.

There are a few people on our street who are often in during the day so packages don't always end up with the same people - maybe once a month is the most any neighbour gets.

We always collect packages as soon as we can but because of long hours this is sometimes not the same day, sometimes a few days. And we've had a couple of occasions where couriers have not left cards so we haven't known about parcels until the neighbour has come round to us.

One neighbour is always a bit pointed with us when she takes in deliveries, particularly if we are not straight over to pick them up, and makes us feel like we're being a bit of a nuisance.

AIBU to be so reliant on neighbours goodwill, or is she being unreasonable to make a fuss?

OP posts:
Bloodyteenagers · 19/01/2014 10:04

What companies are these then Mia? It is obvious that mine is a work place, some companies suggest an alternative such as work, others if i call the order in have never said no

CouthyMow · 19/01/2014 10:04

If I order online, I put a note in the delivery box to SAY not to leave it with neighbours. If I find it annoying, I wouldn't impose it on other people.

trixymalixy · 19/01/2014 10:06

Also some companies will not deliver to business addresses. H&M only deliver to private addresses.

Bloodyteenagers · 19/01/2014 10:06

So op you dont want to annoy the receptionist bit have no qualms in annoying neighbours?
Click and collect or weekends only then

Jaynebxl · 19/01/2014 10:06

Is there anywhere the parcels can be left? We usually ask for them to be left in our shed but our back garden is easily accessible so not a problem for the delivery man. You could always take some flowers to say thanks for taking the parcels in.

AndWHOOSHTheyWereGone · 19/01/2014 10:07

I have neighbours that do this and it drives me round the bend. Over Christmas I had nine large parcels sat in my hall for over a week. They took up space and it was a faff trying to keep DCs from trying to open them. I had nowhere else to store them with it being Xmas as I'd got my normal storage spaces stuffed with presents for my own family. They very much expect me to take things in and don't bother collecting for days on end. I only take them in because the postie is lovely and always asks me as he knows I'm in. It's rude to assume they will take your deliveries, it's rude to leave them sat in someone else house for days and it's rude to not make an effort to have things delivered to work etc.

Sallystyle · 19/01/2014 10:08

You could get them delivered to you work. Don't think anyone has mentioned that yet Grin

YABU

secretscwirrels · 19/01/2014 10:11

You knock on neighbours doors at 9pm Shock
It gets worse.

SamAndDeanSandwich · 19/01/2014 10:13

My work used to have no policy about accepting personal deliveries at work, but then it became noticeable that it was actually impacting the reception staff and post room - it wasn't just the receiving of the parcels at the desk, but the time taken contacting the owner of the parcel and either delivering it to them or getting it picked up. Last year they brought in a policy that each personal parcel would be subject to a charge of 50p, which cut the number of parcels by quite a lot, but in the last 12 months we have donated around £1000 to local charities just from money collected in this way. That's a lot of parcels.
As for your AIBU, I happily take in my neighbours' parcels, and they do the same for me, if your neighbour has a problem she should be saying no to the delivery person.

Original poster
Plateofcrumbs · 19/01/2014 10:16

We always DO collect ASAP - 9 times out of 10 that is same day when we are home from work. Just occasionally we've been out late a couple of nights in a row (or the the neighbour themselves has been out when we have popped round) resulting in 2-3 days going by.

Anyway this thread has made me realise it is a bit unreasonable to be so reliant on neighbours. We moved house about 6 months ago and before that we had a couple of friendly neighbours who took most of our deliveries but we also helped them out with bits and pieces. We've just carried the same habits over to our new home without really thinking about it.

Plus I think Royal Mail has changed their policy and now leave more stuff with neighbours so they get more than they would have done previously.

OP posts:
shushpenfold · 19/01/2014 10:20

I'm not surprised she's being snippy - very rude IMO.

Inkspellme · 19/01/2014 10:23

So you've only known these neighbours 6 months? In my mind thats even more reason not to use them as part of your delivery service. I think you need to use parcel motel. Otherwise you are just coming across as rude to your neighbours even if you don't intend to be.

cookiemonster5678 · 19/01/2014 10:24

Yanbu - the postman has asked, not you. They can say no if its an issue?
Some people are so touchy.
I would expect it to be collected asap though and not have it hanging around.

antimatter · 19/01/2014 10:24

many companies do deliveries on weekend I guess that is too expensive for you

trixymalixy · 19/01/2014 10:25

It is unreasonable to expect your neighbours to take parcels in. I would maybe express your gratitude and tell her that you don't expect her to take them in and to refuse if is too much of a nuisance.

NoSquirrels · 19/01/2014 10:32

I take deliveries pretty regularly - it's no bother to me, and on occasion my neighbours will do the same for us. My immediate neighbour came to collect a parcel the other day that had been hanging around for a few days, and apologised for it - she said she always asks for weekend delivery but it's regularly ignored by the likes of amazon. But I honestly don't mind - if I see someone's in and it's convenient for me I'll knock with it, but mostly I leave them to come and fetch. Of all the inconveniences in life, it's a really small one for an easy life and goodwill all round. And I would much prefer to hold on to something for a few days for someone working full time and not in till late of an evening than have them ringing the doorbell and disturbing me past at 9pm!

antimatter · 19/01/2014 10:33

www.royalmail.com/delivery-to-neighbour/

it is your responsibility to tell Royal Mail....

If you would prefer not to have any items delivered to a neighbour you can opt-out

Canidae · 19/01/2014 10:34

There is one lady on my street who takes in all the parcels for everyone. She is lovely and I always give her a card saying thanks and some flowers at christmas.

Can you give some flowers/wine/chocs to the people who often take them in? Most people would be happy to help if they knew it was appreciated.

walkdowntheavenue · 19/01/2014 10:39

I don't mind taking deliveries and always keep an eye for the neighbour and drop it around. However your attitude stinks, your neighbour has made it clear she's not happy about it and you've made it clear you don't care. An apology and alternative arrangements for your deliveries are required ASAP.

Nanny0gg · 19/01/2014 10:44

On getting deliveries at work: I do ring the changes myself, but we only have one receptionist working quite a big office and I know she gets can get a bit harassed dealing with people's personal deliveries

Now you know how your neighbours feel!
I can't believe you did this without talking to them about it!
Entitled, much?

tallulah · 19/01/2014 10:46

When I was on maternity leave we had parcels delivered for our neighbours most days. They didn't bother asking if it was OK, they never came to collect them, and it was always big stuff that took up what little room we had in our hall. We lived in a town house with the living room on the first floor, so we were up and down the stairs answering the door for THEIR deliveries. On the rare occasions we got parcels we'd have to go to the sorting office to collect.

I started saying no to accepting parcels, and the delivery men got quite snippy about it.

If you are having regular deliveries you need to either buy a parcel store or get things delivered to those boxes outside the supermarket. It really isn't fair to expect someone else to be your personal delivery office.

Mia1415 · 19/01/2014 10:55

Bloodyteenagers - I've worked in several sectors including retail, manufacturing & corporate businesses & they've all had similar policies. In fairness they've all been (apart from one) large companies where to handle personal post to everyone would be a nightmare & big cost/ impact to the company. Maybe smaller organisations would be more lenient.

Original poster
Plateofcrumbs · 19/01/2014 11:02

However your attitude stinks, your neighbour has made it clear she's not happy about it and you've made it clear you don't care. An apology and alternative arrangements for your deliveries are required ASAP.

1 neighbour in 4 has made some slightly pointed remarks ("did you know this arrived on Wednesday?" type of thing) we are always very appreciative and have been apologetic when we have not been able to pick up straight away. She hasn't actually said she is not happy or doesn't want to take deliveries for us. She lives a few doors down and I think she has actually only taken things in for us three or four times, but I think she has been unlucky in that she has had an occasion where we were not left a card and a couple of occasions where we weren't able to pick up straight away.

3 neighbours in 4 have made no suggestion of being unhappy. Our nearest neighbour who gets most of our packages is lovely and is always offering other ways to help us out, and we help her out when we can too.

OP posts:
AnUnearthlyChild · 19/01/2014 11:06

We aren't allowed deliveries to work.

ThistleLickerIsGoingToBeAMummy · 19/01/2014 11:08

You still order knowing your out all day!!! Make different arrangements or weekends!!!

These people have lives and are not
Your pa !!! Entitled much????