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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have had a go at a woman

173 replies

bordellosboheme · 18/01/2014 15:03

Who had for older children with her, one of whom bashed a loo door into ds 2s head..... She didn't do anything, but then very shallowly said sorry and looked the other way. Ds was in fits of tears. She seemed very unconcerned. I called her on it and said, you dont seem very concerned. she said I have said sorry and I am watching for kids (in the loo). Her attitude was bad! WIBU to have a go at her? I am normally a mind your own business kind of person!

OP posts:
VampyreofTimeandMemory · 18/01/2014 15:38

'people seems to'? oops.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 18/01/2014 15:39

wont my dd does that constantly on her scooter. it is quite embarrassing for me, i must say.

TheNewSchmoo · 18/01/2014 15:40

So you're not really asking if you are being unreasonable, just ignoring those who say you were and who are seeking further clarification.

YABU, accidents happen, let it go, dwelling will only wind you up further.

FranSanDisco · 18/01/2014 15:46

I can't see what's wrong with expecting an injury to a toddler to be acknowledged. I would have apologised and told my child to be more careful in future.

OP I would not ask for advice in AIBU because even if people agree with you in RL as soon as they come on AIBU they mutate into unpleasant arseholes who grow stronger with each similarly unpleasant post. Some of the replies on here are disgusting quite frankly.

I hope your little boy is OK.

Littlefish · 18/01/2014 15:48

Fran - the woman did say sorry. The OP just doesn't seem to think she was sorry enough.

lljkk · 18/01/2014 15:49

ho hum, it's not worth hanging onto. It's just a small annoying moment in the day. No harm done. Move on.

Guitargirl · 18/01/2014 15:50

I remember once opening a door into public toilets and a little girl, aged about 2, standing on the other side of the door was hit in the head by the handle of the door opening. I apologised automatically, although I still don't know how I was expected to see through walls to know that the little girl was standing there. Her mother gave me evils but honestly, move your child out of the way of a door otherwise they will get hit when it opens, it's not rocket science.

I8toys · 18/01/2014 16:02

YABU - What Guitargirl says. Doors open - don't put your child in front of it where they can get hit.

paxtecum · 18/01/2014 16:05

YABU: what guitar girl says.

If I was that woman I would be quite cross about you not taking enough care.

Topaz25 · 18/01/2014 16:06

She may have been mortified, I know I would be if I apologised for an accident and someone continued to have a go at me. What did you want her to do? Asking if he was OK could have been taken the wrong way since he was crying so he clearly wasn't. Your DS might have been responding to your stress.

CoffeeTea103 · 18/01/2014 16:09

Yabu it wasn't intentional, it happens. Get over it.

CoolaSchmoola · 18/01/2014 16:24

Agree with Guitargirl - doors open, toilet doors tend to be solid and without windows, there is always a risk someone might open it from the other side as you approach. You failed to assess this risk, you allowed a two year old to approach a heavy, windowless, continuously in use door first and you are upset he got hit!

YWBU letting your small child walk straight towards a high risk - public toilet doors are opening and closing all the time, the chances for him to get bumped were high but you allowed him to walk straight into a blind swing zone. That makes it YOUR fault he got hit, as you let him approach the door, not the fault of someone who couldn't possibly have known.

Don't let your two year old approach public doors first - then there would be no chance for him to be hit.

CoolaSchmoola · 18/01/2014 16:27

The other woman said sorry, but in reality the person at fault was you for allowing your child to be in the swing zone of a windowless door. He got hurt because of that choice that YOU made.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 18/01/2014 16:29

oh my god at 'YOUR fault he got hit, he got hurt because of YOU'. these things happen, we learn these things as we go along - would you say all this shite to the posters who feel horribly guilty because they ACCIDENTALLY hurt their dc?

Original poster
bordellosboheme · 18/01/2014 16:44

Fransandisco just what I was thinking Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
bordellosboheme · 18/01/2014 16:49

How are you supposed to leave without standing by the door? The boy literally ploughed through with force. It would have knocked an adult over tbh

OP posts:
Original poster
bordellosboheme · 18/01/2014 16:50

Thanks vampyre.....

OP posts:
JenBehavingBadly · 18/01/2014 16:50

She was busy, distracted and said sorry.

It was an accident. Park it up and move on.

I generally don't have a go at people in front of my / their children. That's a pretty off thing to do.

Original poster
bordellosboheme · 18/01/2014 16:53

In pursuit of oblivion.... Hope you find it soon. There, not bullying, just a comment. Wink

OP posts:
MoominsYonisAreScary · 18/01/2014 17:02

I tend to keep my 2 year old away from toilet doors as people cant see through them and he could be hit.

She apologised, you didnt think she was sorry enough, she probably thought you should keep your small child away from doors.

If it was me I would have told my child apologise, especially if they had gone full force at the door.

Both of you were in the wrong but you were the only one who was rude about it.

CoolaSchmoola · 18/01/2014 17:04

If the person in question had blamed someone else for the accident, had a go at them and then posted about the fact that the other person wasn't apologetic enough when in reality the only person who could 100% have avoided the accident was the person doing the blaming then yes Vampyre, I would.

No the child should not have pushed through the door, but equally a two year old shouldn't be first in line for a potential bump.

Both sides contributed to this accident through their actions, only one side knew a toddler was near the door, yet the op is placing all the blame on another child and parent and taking none of the responsibility herself.

That is what is sticking. Yes accidents happen, but they are incredibly rarely the fault of one person. If the op feels the need to have a go at the other parent then it's only fair she also acknowledges her part.

SeaSickSal · 18/01/2014 17:08

It was an accident. I would have been upset if I was that woman, you were behaving like her child had deliberately assaulted yours. I'm not surprised she seemed a bit put out.

InPursuitOfOblivion · 18/01/2014 17:08

Bordello, there is a bottle of veuve chilling in the fridge as we speak, so yes, I just might find it! (I am a lightweight these days)
I will very much enjoy it Grin
Cheers Wine

PistolAnnies · 18/01/2014 17:09

OP I hope none of these posts have made you feel any worse?

Quite frankly I am appalled with the way some posters reply on the AIBU boards. My friend was on here not so long ago, for something or nothing really, something that definitely didn't warrant the replies she received. Thing is, they don't just reply once, they go on and on and on - IT IS BULLYING, it's wrong and I've reported the 'nutjob' post

InPursuitOfOblivion · 18/01/2014 17:14

Pistol why ask for an opinion if all you actually want is validation from people who will agree with you?
What's the point?
If you are of a sensitive disposition I really don't think an anonymous Internet forum is for you.