About eating out and tipping

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I've just endured a meal with the inlaws and fil insisted on rounding the bill up - not to the nearest £10 but to the nearest £20 before splitting it out evenly between us all.

The meal was a set price the only thing that varied it was the drinks.

DH and I only had enough money for our share of the bill (tight month) and yet FIL would not accept this and nearly started a row saying we should pay the extra as it was for a tip, the service was shit tbh and didn't deserve one.

AIBU to be angry with FIL for insisting we spend more money than we had budgeted for a)because he got pissed as a fart and most of the bill was his drinks and b) for him rounding it up without asking

How do you deal with group meals and splitting the bill? This has really upset me as I'm now utterly skint

I don't like limited's story very much. Staff ought to treat all customers the same regardless of tip size. I think that's more professional than showing blatant favoritism. Being greeted warmly is one thing, being given things for free including expensive items like bottles of wine is another.

I'd think slightly less of a place, not more, for that kind of behaviour.

Anyone who wants a good time in Rome, you know what to do

It's not the greatest cooking but it's perfectly acceptable. And the waiters are eminently corruptible

But limited why didn't they just put you in the primo table in the first place then? Imagine the tip involved for TWO moves...

yy. wings... although Rome restaurants are probably more able to absorb staff thieving than the UK ones can bear.

It's not for you then FuckingWankwings. Fair enough. Although I'd say that most restaurants in Rome or any other Italian cities may also be out of bounds on that basis.

Theatre lying. Each table move involved lots of loud fussing and scolding to the other waiters who were obviously all in on the act. It was a fantastic experience.

And, yes, it was a big tip. But the free food and wine and general arselicking in front of a packed restaurant was worth it.

I'm saying they were robbing their employer blind, but he was sitting there counting the money, so he could see what they were doing and I've no reason to believe that he was any slouch.

I've no idea what the deal was. But I'd be lying if I didn't say it was one of the greatest nights of my life.

Ohh... I probably would have got a bit annoyed at the inefficiency...

I know that Italy is fab for fresh fish restaurants. I developed a lifelong love of raw tuna from my trip.

Always nice to have a night to remember, Limited - are you going back there?

It quite common to get free drinks etc to good loyal customers. .doesn't mean the waiting staff are robbing their employers, I would imagine most of the time the management are telling their staff to take bottles of wine etc off bill. Its such a competitive industry, they want their customers to come back! And im afraid its naive of you to think that all the stuff like "dregs of wine" etc to customers isnt something that happens a lot..it does! When I waitressed I unfortunately saw a good few examples of that ( head chef in a high end establishment rubbing a steak along a floor as he was pissed off with customer repeatedly sending food back ) I could go on but wont. Its certainly not something I condone. I think its awful what goes on..but it does.

Susyb... I'm not naïve at all. Ever wondered why people aren't eating out so much anymore? It's not all to do with the recession. People don't have big money to spend on cars and things perhaps but they'll spend fairly substantial money on cosmetics and creams and whatever else to make themselves happy.

Services have slipped very far. I could eat out more often than I do but I'd rather buy a good steak and cook it myself. That way I know it hasn't been on the floor.

There have been TV programme illustrating the horrible treatment of customers by some restaurant staff who think they are entitled to do that. Maybe when more people vote with their feet they'll wonder how that happened.

Yes lying I am.

Also yes susyb. I was unfair on the waiters. The employer was sitting there. He didn't look daft. That's the way his business runs and everyone plays their part.

The other thing I'd say is that tipping big in that circumstance has a real benefit to me.

DH travels to various Italian cities on business and I tag along. For at least one night I will be dining alone. Lone diners are rarely treated well, and particularly not female ones, especially not in some countries.

A good tip and the good relationship that brings, ensures excellent and respectful service. I know it shouldn't, but it does.

Eat out in Germany, where they ask whether you wish to pay together or separately.

Get yourself a copy of Reservoir Dogs for a view on whether to tip or not.

If you're on a really tight budget, try to avoid eating out in a group - always a minefield.

Lying..I agree with you, the very reason we dont eat out much. I have been appalled at sevice iv had in past, made me realise how things have changed since I was working in the industry. I genuinely had loved my job, didn't have to force a smile and pretend I was enjoying making someone's dining experience a happy one, I really enjoyed it. I guess I was grateful I had a job..and was amazed at how interesting it was meeting people from all walks of life..but it was a real eye opener to see what can really go on.i always tip, but not for bad service, where I would explain why I didn't.

walks of life..but it was a real eye opener as to what really goes on..

Sorry don't know whats going on with my keyboard :-)

I hate eating out in groups , it's always awkward . I'm not on a budget per se but I begrudge paying for food and drink I didn't have .. I avoid at all costs !

limited, I've been treated just fine in restaurants in Rome and elsewhere in Italy despite not leaving large tips, so I don't believe that they are 'out of bounds' to me .

I wouldn't enjoy having my arse licked in front of a packed restaurant, either, so you're right; that kind of thing probably isn't for me.

I think our differing attitudes are summed up by your comment 'a good tip and the good relationship that brings, ensures excellent and respectful service. I know it shouldn't, but it does.' My take on that is 'I know it does, but it shouldn't.' I treat waiting staff pleasantly and respectfully and expect just the same from them, regardless of whether or what I tip.

I don't think I've ever been to any particular restaurant frequently enough that staff would know whether I was good tipper or not

I tip 10% as a standard, if I'm satisfied with the food and service. I've tipped more for great food and service, up to 20%, and less, down to 0% for a poor show.

Cheeky of your FIL to split the bill like that if a lot of it was his drink. Swallow it this time and make a mental note to agree up front in future.

Or make sure you get in about your fair share of the vino!

I never tip. Ever. Fuck that.

I only tip if the food and service are excellent. I never tip for acceptable food, because that's what restaurants are there for. However if I tip, it is always a generous tip and worth doing for an excellent experience.

I absolutely hate going out for a meal with people who don't tip. Totally tight

Grennie: I absolutely hate going out for a meal with people who have a superiority complex and feel a need to tip the "underlings" Lots of nouveau riche behave like this because they don't know any other way to behave.

I believe we are all equal. Some people are paid a lot, some people are paid much less. That's the way the world works - or it wouldn't work at all.

Yanbu

You knew what you needed to pay. If fil wanted to do a big tip he could do it himself. Definitely don't pay for his drinks!

My DS and DD both "wait on" at a local pub/restaurant. The pay is minimum wage. Trip advisor reviews generally rate the establishment as being one of the best in the area for both food and service, and we have eaten there many times and can concur with that. I asked my DCs how many people tipped, assuming it would be most customers, but they reckon less than half, which surprised me. Good service can make a meal; catering staff are generally poorly paid, and I would always tip around 10-15%, unless the service was pretty crap.

That's their JOB though. To wait on tables.Just like it's the jobs of nurses to care for their patients.
They don't expect a cash bung in the hand to get a better service. It would quite rightly cause outrage (everyone regardless of how much or little they could bribe the nurse deserves proper health care.)
Why are those in the restaurant/waiting business so ENTITLED and grabby?!
Their case is no different to the one I highlighted above.

When you go to eat out you are not really paying for food, you are paying for someone to make your food, the general ambiance and for someone to wait on you. It is your choice to use this luxury and that is why it is customary to tip.

Just seen this. What a load of rubbish. So, if you save up and can afford a nice meal in a restaurant, if you can't afford to effectively budget double the amount to throw at the staff for doing what is effectively their job then you should stay at home?!
Basically you're saying that if you're not rich enough to throw extra money at the staff then you should stay at home, where you belong, eating your Pot Noodle or egg and chips. No eating out for you.
Going by your logic, the chef cooking for you deserves a tip too. He's doing it for your luxury, because you can't be arsed to do it yourself.
Get into the kitchens and give him a tip too, he deserves it just as much as the waiters as he's a luxury to you as you could quite as easily be cooking yourself at home.
Those loading the dishwashers behind the scenes, too.
Those cleaning up the restaurant when you've long hauled yourself back off home.
They're helping to keep it luxury for you all.

InMyElement - It is not a superiorityu complex, what a strange idea. Its is recognising that a tip is the standard part of the wages.

And believe you me, I am very far from nouveau riche