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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About eating out and tipping

525 replies

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 17/01/2014 20:25

I've just endured a meal with the inlaws and fil insisted on rounding the bill up - not to the nearest £10 but to the nearest £20 before splitting it out evenly between us all.

The meal was a set price the only thing that varied it was the drinks.

DH and I only had enough money for our share of the bill (tight month) and yet FIL would not accept this and nearly started a row saying we should pay the extra as it was for a tip, the service was shit tbh and didn't deserve one.

AIBU to be angry with FIL for insisting we spend more money than we had budgeted for a)because he got pissed as a fart and most of the bill was his drinks and b) for him rounding it up without asking

How do you deal with group meals and splitting the bill? This has really upset me as I'm now utterly skint

OP posts:
Susyb30 · 18/01/2014 21:17

Giving tips in restaurants is what we're talking about. .not fucking nursery teachers. Oh my god if I thought my child was in care of someone who thought like that I would be so angry..what the fuck??
If you have enjoyed your meal and service was great its miserable not to tip. As for asking for service charge to be removed. .I take it service was bad and you had reason Scottishmummy? Fair do's. If you were just asking for it to be removed just cos you have a massive chip on your shoulder then all I can say is I think thats a bit sad. Everyone entitled to their own opinions tho, and thats mine.(bet the staff cant wait to serve you)

limitedperiodonly · 18/01/2014 21:21

We have all encountered bad behaviour, whether in restaurants or in the queue for the bus.

Bring it up, if it's safe - and I'd guess that being in a restaurant at the end of a meal is pretty safe - and never go there again.

But if it keeps happening you either have to question the places you go or question yourselves.

scottishmummy · 18/01/2014 21:24

Keep up susy,read the specifics I written,Less of the food based hyperbole
Yes I've declined. To pay service charge fir bad service.
I also said,if you care to read it,I tip well for good service

And as you put it fucking nursery teachers was lily making link between receiving a good gift and changing a nappy in timely manner?no gift!she'd not prioritise the change

Susyb30 · 18/01/2014 21:39

Scottish mummy I am fully aware that nasty thread was not yours..I was referring to you with regards to tipping. Thats all. (And im trying to keep up, my ds is waking up and demanding I play pig goes pop!!) So less of the cheek thank you.

Panzee · 18/01/2014 21:40

I thought lily was parodying the poster who assumed she got better service because she tips.

scottishmummy · 18/01/2014 21:40

Less of the food based hyperbole then susy

RufusTheReindeer · 18/01/2014 21:49

panzee I think she was, but it backfired a bit

Susyb30 · 18/01/2014 21:53

Aye ok Scottish mummy.

scottishmummy · 18/01/2014 21:53

Really?even with the laboured youse all lacking interpretation skills it wasn't like that

rookiemater · 18/01/2014 21:54

I tip 10% when I go out and drop coins worth 10% in the jar at our gym when I have lunch there as the staff are absolutely lovely. I'd never thought of not tipping as an option.

However in the US I found that the whole tipping culture actually resulted in worse service. Our wait staff would routinely spend a couple of minutes telling us their name and how they were going to help us and where they were from, sorry this may be crass but I'm not that interested and discrete service gets a bigger tip from me. Or the time we were at a restaurant we liked and wanted to sit outside. There was nothing immediately available - no problem we said, we'll have a starter at the bar and then move. This caused no end of issues, our inside waitress was actively horrid to us as she wasn't going to be getting the tip. We offered in the end to split the bill and pay for the starters inside, so we could tip appropriately, but this was apparently not acceptable either.

I have to say I do think less of people who don't tip, like BIL who tried to pocket our tip after we had had great service for a table of 9. I don't like pre set service charges though, unless it's a big party.

SaucyJack · 18/01/2014 22:19

Am quietly chuckling at the fact certain posters on here are more than happy to give preferential treatment to customers who give them cash bribes in real life yet are themselves going apeshit about posters in other jobs joking about doing the same on an internet forum.

MakingEveryDayCount · 18/01/2014 22:25

But I'm beginning to realise why you don't understand the quaint habit of tipping people or being polite to them in order to oil the wheels of social convention.

Uncalled for. I am perfectly polite, thank you. Always have been, always will be. The trouble with this forum is that it's hard to quote, and has to be done by bolding posts.
I don't always notice the name of those which I am quoting. Merely replying to the points they are making.
If you've subsequently posted with MORE claptrap I don't agree with, then I'm going to answer to those too, regardless of whether I've clocked your name previously or not!

scottishmummy · 18/01/2014 22:27

When you've finished goin apeshite you could explain what you're on an out
Who is taking cash bribes in real life

limitedperiodonly · 18/01/2014 22:30

I don't always notice the name of those which I am quoting

That's your fault then, isn't it?

scottishmummy · 18/01/2014 22:31

Let's get down to it,whits the deal wi Cash bribes in real life?

limitedperiodonly · 18/01/2014 22:33

MakingEveryDayCount just in case anyone else thought I was blaming them.

I'm blaming you.

MakingEveryDayCount · 18/01/2014 22:34

That's your fault then, isn't it?

Why can I not come back and disagree with more stuff you're posting? As everything I've seen from you so far needs disagreeing with.
Are you only supposed to post once now and not disagree with anything else as you've already said your piece?! Confused

MakingEveryDayCount · 18/01/2014 22:34

I'm blaming you.

For what? Spell it out.

RufusTheReindeer · 18/01/2014 22:39

scottishmummy. I think saucyjack was inferring/implying (always get those confused) that a tip is a cash bribe

You are bribing the waiter to give you good service

I could be wrong tho

limitedperiodonly · 18/01/2014 22:41

Spell what out?

We have different experiences of nights out.

You got very confused about my posts.

scottishmummy · 18/01/2014 22:42

Hard to tell.all the o'er cash bribes hints of skulduggery,well that's interesting
If it's bellyaching about tipping it's not so exciting

RufusTheReindeer · 18/01/2014 22:45

scottishmummy

Yep, pretty positive it's the boring explanation

A conspiracy between wait staff would be a lot more interesting

wobblyweebles · 18/01/2014 22:46

My experience is that service in the US is far better than service in the UK. Been here 7 years and I've only had service bad enough to stop me from tipping once.

Catsize · 18/01/2014 22:48

And breathe...

(That was a tip by the way) Smile

scottishmummy · 18/01/2014 22:48

I'd got cuppa tea,trotted back quick style to see if wait-gate bribery was updated
Alas if it just some general moaning
Real life bribes,sounded so deliciously exciting..maverick