To be angry my DDs coat has been confiscated at school

[Foxeym]

I don't know if I am? My 2DDs go to a state secondary school but it's an ex grammar school and still run as it was. They have a very strict uniform rule which I have always abided to even though it can only be bought in one specialised shop at extortionate prices. I'm currently on maternity leave and my pay is ridiculous so I haven't been able to afford a new coat for my eldest (15). The school rule is black/ navy blue only, I was thankful that a friend gave me a dark brown, almost black coat for DD to wear (the youngest in now wearing DD1 old blue coat). Today her form tutor has confiscated her coat and told her she is not having it back and given her a detention. While I understand there has to be rules, surely the school can understand that not everybody can just go out and buy a new coat at the drop of a hat, I do intend to buy her one but I have to wait until I get my maternity pay at the end of the month. Aibu to want to go into the school and make a fuss, it's not like I've sent her in a bright green coat, you can hardly see that it's brown and not black??

Well obviously you can see or the teacher wouldn't have noticed.

YANBU, but if they allow your dd to wear a non regulation coat, how about others who can't afford the regulation trousers, skirt, PE kit.

They have to draw the line somewhere.

Some schools have very petty strict uniform rules, apparently it stops the pupils rebelling in worse ways. (That came from a secondary school teacher)

Can the coat only be bought in the specialist shop or can any black or blue coat be worn?

The teacher is unreasonable for confiscating the coat and giving DD a detention, she'll freeze on the way home! You are being unreasonable for not following the dress code sadly

Can you send in a note saying she will have a black coat by x date? I moved school mid-term and my mother couldn't afford a £75 blazer for a month until the child benefit came through. By arrangement I was allowed to wear a red cardigan until she could afford one. I carried a note in my pocket written by my mother and then signed by my form tutor incase someone pulled me up on it.

Will she be getting her coat back to walk home in?

This does seem rather ridiculously hardline but then I guess they've made the rules on uniform pretty clear. Ours just say it must be dark and plain. (Not that most of them even wear a coat half the time..)

I think they should return the coat though! I sympathise totally with the cost of new things. But I see the school's pov too tbh.

that's why school uniform is such a bloody stupid waste of time and money.

it makes adult teachers behave like arseholes, has absolutely no place in a modern society, does nothing to raise standards ( no evidence) and wastes valuable teaching time.

if only we could stop this ridiculous old fashioned class based crap idea and concentrate on what really matters ie our children being well educated sensible well rounded successful individuals.

I think if you want the school to give you a bit of leeway, you should have gone and spoken to them. If you didn't, then they don't know your circumstances and are just enforcing their rules.

Personally, I don't think uniform rules should extend to coats but that's another matter.

A note explaining you know you are breaking the uniform policy and that financial pressures mean you will buy the correct uniform at the end of the month should sort it.
Yabu you could have sent a note when she started wearing it.

Seems unduly punitive and the teacher seems to be acting like a little Hitler.

I would refuse to give consent to the detention stating your reason why. I would also semd a note to Head of of year expressing uour very very great displeasure .

It probably would have been avoided if you had spoken to the school prior to the confiscation to explain that your dd needs a new coat and you will get one as soon as you can. The school might have had supplies that they could lend a coat to your dd from.
My guess is that the school saw your dd in a non Regulation coat and hadn't heard anything from the parents to explain the situation and concluded that your dd was just bending the rules.
Are there any second hand sales of coats at the school? Lots of schools have second hand uniform sales.

I would talk to the school but not "make a fuss". I would explain your financial situation and ask for leeway. Tell them you will buy a coat on xx date, and ask whether, in the mean time, they have any coats in lost property DD can borrow, or whether they operate a second hand uniform shop where finincially strapped parents such as you can buy "pre-loved" uniform.

They took her coat? So she had to walk home without a coat?

I'd go ballistic.

I would also try to get them into another school, what kind of idiot thinks it is OK to send a child out without a coat because their parent has sent them in with the wrong one? How is that your dd's fault?

At this time of year that is disgusting. She'll be so cold.

I'd go over teacher's head, explain the financial situation and also thrown in words like pnumonia. If she's off sick for a month with an illness (like I did when I had pnumonia) how much will it affect her schooling? GSCE years and all.

I'd even be tempted to go to a local paper.

Well it would be one thing to tell her off and send a note home that she can't wear the coat, but to confiscate it, is way of the top. It's chuffing freezing (depending on where you are) and is she now expected to walk home without a coat? I imagine it wont kill her but it's very cruel and totally unnecessary. So YANBU. The teacher is being horrible.

So your child went home without a coat? In January? That's terrible. Rules are rules but child welfare trumps uniform every day of the week in my book. I think you should call them, give them a timescale for the purchase of a new coat that conforms and insist that until then dd be returned her property.

If she isn't allowed the only coat she has then I don't know what else to suggest. She can't go to school with no coat at all can she?

Pp , Yanbu to compare confiscation of a coat to hitler. Suggest you ask for it to be deleted

Yes, you be be unreasonable to cause a fuss. Part of attending a school with strict uniform guidelines is to teach children discipline and pride in their appearance. The good standard of the school was presumably one of the reasons you enrolled your children and a uniform policy is part of that. You would have been aware of the uniform code before your children joined and by sending them to that school you were agreeing to comply. You were U to send your daughter with the wrong coloured coat and expect it not to be noted.
However, at this time of year, it was also U of the school to confiscate the coat. A note home in the first instance would have been fairer on your daughter.

I very much doubt if there is anything in a policy that allows a member of staff to confiscate and item of clothing beyond the end of the school day. So actually I'd be in the school office today demanding the return of the coat because your child needs it to stay warm and dry. I think detention for not wearing the right uniform is dodgy because it is a situation beyond the child's control and also could cause real problems for a child coming from a disadvantaged family. So thinking about it I'd probably ask to have a meeting with the HT and have a non-confrontational discussion about this.
However - you signed up to the Home School Agreement when your children went to the school. So if you were unable to abide by it due to financial pressures you should have discussed this with the school at the start of term, not just sent your daughter in out of uniform.

I think it's more that I've seen quite a few year 7 wearing any colour coat just recently so they have decided to come down hard on anyone not wearing the regulation coat. Apparently they even have the sixth formers keeping an eye out, ready to take any coats that aren't correct. I fully intend to buy her the correct coat but just don't have the funds at present (her old coat no longer fits that's why DD2 has it). I'm sure it's more unreasonable to make her walk around without a coat than to wait 2 weeks until it can be replaced??

Sorry, that made me snigger a bit. Every secondary school pupil I know makes it a point of honor never to wear their coat, unless we're under feet of snow.

I actually like uniform for school. It simplifies life and stops pupils being competetive about clothes. Every time there is a 'wear what you like' day my dc take longer to choose what to wear. So yes I support the school's uniform policy and I can see that once they start overlooking tiny things here and there they might as well not bother having it.

I do think it should be affordable though and not only available from overpriced specialist shops.

I'd be straight down there and demanding it back.

Taking away a child's coat is absurd.

A coat is hardly uniform, she takes it off when she gets there FFS.

Go and get it back, tell the teacher that your DD will not be in detention for something out of her control.

Having to uphold pointless uniform rules was one of the many things that led to me leaving secondary school teaching. I wanted to uphold good standards of behaviour and encourage commitment to learning, not check whether the knot on ties was too low down and whether shirts were tucked in. As for having to cause inconvenience to pupils, parents and teachers over the colour of a coat...FFS.

Does she have a contact book? If so I would have written a note in there explaining the situation so she could show it to a teacher if queried. Obviously nobody is going to want either child to go without a coat in this weather so I'm sure the rules could be bent.

I think the problem is that you've not explained the situation, sent a note in or let anyone know. You can't expect the teacher to be a mind reader and guess your entire situation, maternity pay etc from just seeing the coat.

Contact the school, politely explain the situation and ask permission for your daughter to be allowed to wear the coat temporarily. They may even suggest a way they could help out with finding a new one.

Don't go mad because I don't think they've done anything to warrant it and it will just make you look like one of those horrible parents who think the rules don't apply to their child.