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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not put make up on dd?

292 replies

selfdestructivelady · 13/01/2014 10:11

We went to a children's birthday party Saturday. All the little girls had make up on and all the parents were saying how pretty each other's dds make up looked. Dd is 4 yo the others were aged 4-5 they had nail polish eyeshadow and lip gloss on.

OP posts:
MeepMeepVrooooom · 14/01/2014 13:07

I can't understand this either.

If my DD was playing dress up at home when she is older then occasionally ok but not to go to a party and 100% not to go to school.

I don't understand this...

bisjo · 14/01/2014 13:09

I assume it is a change in society. I watched Educating Yorkshire recently and was amazed at the amount of make up the pupils wore. We were made to take make up off by matron when I was at school and if our skirts didn't touch the floor when we kneeled down we were sent home!

mrsjay · 14/01/2014 13:10

tbh i cant quite remember the brand it was in a little pot with a strawberry on

BabyDubsEverywhere · 14/01/2014 13:33

Mimicking main carers is totally normal isn't it? I really cant see why my DS would want to mimic me instead of DH... or that my DD would suddenly want to shave her face for a night out? And honestly I don't know many guys who don't do themselves up for a night out - differently to women granted, but still the premise is the same.

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 13:36

We had to do the skirt test too and if our hair touched our shirt collars it had to be tied up.

Original poster
selfdestructivelady · 14/01/2014 13:43

Wow come back to loads of responses. I have decided I will not put make up on dd as I don't want to teach her she has to conform.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 13:46

A little late, but of course a little make up on a social occasion is more acceptable than wearing make up to school. I would imagine primary schools have rules and regulations about it. The parents of the party girl, probably not so much.

Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 13:47

....unless she wants to,OP? Or even if she does want to?

Original poster
selfdestructivelady · 14/01/2014 13:52

If she wants too I will think further about it.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 13:53

Why do you think schools have rules about makeup Bowler. Could it be because it's not a good idea for primary school children to wear makeup.

Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 13:53

That's fair enough, OP.

Original poster
selfdestructivelady · 14/01/2014 13:54

But thinking on it she can't stand face paint so probably wouldn't like make up.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 13:55

I would imagine because it would not be in the spirit of learning LittleBear. You don't need to consider that at a party.

cuddlefish · 14/01/2014 13:56

But is there really any distinction for a DD between 'wanting to wear make-up' and 'wanting to wear make-up because everyone else is' is there?

Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 13:58

...she may well not want to wear make up anyway OP. I don't like it myself. Never have done. I bite my nails, so have never worn nail polish. I don't think it's right to have a blanket ban on it though.

Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 13:59

What do you mean cuddlefish? That the dd only wants to wear it because the other girls are?

cuddlefish · 14/01/2014 14:05

I suppose that is what I mean. I think the two will be indistinguishable - in her own mind. It's just pressure to fit in, to be part of the conversation about it, etc. It's not really about make-up at all.

TheRealCarrieBradshaw · 14/01/2014 14:14

No, no, and no, YANBU!

I don't have a girl, we have boys only but if we did, I'd want to keep her young skin as natural and fresh for as long as I could. If she was in a dance show, or a fancy dress or something then yes, I'd make an exception, but for just a birthday or general party then no.

I get so annoyed when I see that Jordans baby in the magazines, and she has the lot caked on Blush

projectbabyweight · 14/01/2014 14:21

I'ts mad to suggest she might just "like make-up" at that age, independent of any outside influence. It's clearly become a widespread thing nowadays, so girls might want to do it, but that's only because they're exposed to it, or to fit in.

Who in our generation would've chosen to wear make-up to a party at that age? When we'd be the only one? It's clearly peer pressure/influence (and a shame, to focus on appearance so much Sad ).

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 14:33

'Spirit of learning'

Don't think so - more likely it isn't appropriate for young children to wear it

Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 14:35

...or may be it's fine if they want to.

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 14:39

Yet schools would disagree. Sorry bowlers there are lots of things children may wish to do but they can't. It is sad to me that some children wear make up. They are so lovely without it and their skin is the best it will be

Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 14:49

Well, all it is really saying to me is that you want to take choices away from your girls. I think that's sad. It is a little make up for a party, we are talking about here. Not having it permanently tattooed.

MrsOakenshield · 14/01/2014 14:53

well, if 4-year-old DD said she wanted to wear make up she would be told pretty sharpish that she couldn't. Because, bizarrely, as her mother I don't think it's especially responsible to let her do everything she wants just because she wants - really, do any parents think that? If she sees me having a glass of wine and asks for some, should I let her do that too?

It may be natural for her to want to copy the grown ups, but that doesn't mean we have to allow it, if we deem it inappropriate. And weirdly, DD is capable of understanding that some things have to wait until she is older and she is fine with that. And of course if she saw lots of other little girls wearing make up she would ask to, and of course that would be the reason why, how ludicrous to suggest otherwise. I wouldn't change my mind though because as an adult I'm capable of independent thought and don't have to go along with the crowd.

pictish · 14/01/2014 14:57

What a lot of noise over nothing. Truly.

Not one blustery naysayer on here, has provided me with a single salient point as to why occasionally letting my dd have peelable nail varnish on, or a dusting of shadow for the fun of it, is a terrible thing, or why my dd emulating me, is any different from facepaints or dressing up as the vet or a pirate. If I was a shallow, looks obsessed ninny then I'd see your point...but I'm not, and I'm afraid you'll just have to accept my word on that.
I remain unapologetic. There's no actual harm in it, and the fact that one or two of you are determined to see something more in it than there is, says more about you than it does me.