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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not put make up on dd?

292 replies

selfdestructivelady · 13/01/2014 10:11

We went to a children's birthday party Saturday. All the little girls had make up on and all the parents were saying how pretty each other's dds make up looked. Dd is 4 yo the others were aged 4-5 they had nail polish eyeshadow and lip gloss on.

OP posts:
pictish · 14/01/2014 11:43

Princesses with make up on. Waiting for a prince to rescue them? It's so limiting.
Speak for yourself. You certainly don't speak for me!

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 11:44

Yes parents are their main influence hence I think parents putting makeup on small girls is wrong.

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 11:44

Fine Pictish do as you wish and I will too.

Weelady77 · 14/01/2014 11:45

Would you not put a bow in your dd hair either??

cuddlefish · 14/01/2014 11:45

Putting make-up on little girls (4!) and telling them they look pretty is clearly conditioning them to see prettiness as a goal while the boys run around without this pressure.

bisjo · 14/01/2014 11:46

It seems odd to me that parents think their 4 yr olds need make up to go to a party. At that age I was just happy if I got ds to a party without being covered in mud.

Daykin · 14/01/2014 11:47

I have a more socially acceptable dd too. She likes lego and the ubiquitous climbing trees (mummy's girl).

I'm just putting that in so you don't all judge me on my limiting princess kid

Weelady77 · 14/01/2014 11:47

Would you not tell your dd or ds they look pretty or handsome after a haircut?

Weelady77 · 14/01/2014 11:49

Bis I don't think it's parents putting it on them through choice it's the child asking for it

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 11:52

Yes I would Wee but I tell my dd she's gorgeous most days.

It's ok to say no to children about things. She won't get her ears pierced until she's well into her teens either even if she asks. Apologies for the further ear piercing grenade

pictish · 14/01/2014 12:01

I don't think my dd needs make up for a party - stop putting words in my mouth please.
If she wants it for fun, I have no issue with a faint smudge of shadow or a slick of peelable varnish.
No need about it. Just fun.

Weelady77 · 14/01/2014 12:03

Exactly pic it's all about fun if parents started letting their small kids wear it to school then there would be an issue!

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 12:14

Why would it be different wearing it to school?

Bowlersarm · 14/01/2014 12:16

Because they would be wearing it permanently for school, and not just for the odd party.

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 12:43

So the odd party's ok but not the odd school day?

If it's ok for a five year old to wear makeup it doesn't matter surely where she wears it.

Sparklymommy · 14/01/2014 12:46

At the risk of being flamed, my girls wear stage make-up for dance festivals and have done since they were three.

And on the other end of the spectrum my boys (aged 6 and 7) love nothing more than dressing up as princesses. In fact, my very macho 6 year old spent a good few hours dressed as Cinderella at the weekend and then let his 11 year old sister make him up with her make up bag.

It is make believe. Children having fun. They do not wear nail polish very often due to having to take it off for performances, but often have a smudge of make up on. And dd1 has better make up than me! To the point that when I go out I'm borrowing it. Having said tht she doesn't wear it everyday.

bisjo · 14/01/2014 12:48

Wee ds asks for lots of things he doesn't get Grin

I remember trying to sneak at the house aged 13 wearing eyeshadow. I was made to take it off. I find it sad that there seems to be such a rush for children to grow up these days.

mrsjay · 14/01/2014 12:54

Yes parents are their main influence hence I think parents putting makeup on small girls is wrong.

which is your opinion and choice and that is ok but oher parents think different I only allowed it for playing dd didnt put lip gloss on till she was 6 and even then it was few and far between these little girls are not I dont think going out with full faces and stillettos on they are little girls,

Imo the people who criticise women and girls the most is women and girls other females have a huge inpact on self esteem ime not men

mrsjay · 14/01/2014 12:56

So the odd party's ok but not the odd school day?

because girls like to dress up and sometimes put make up on for fun we do expect them to be serious at school

LittleBearPad · 14/01/2014 12:59

Six is still so tiny though. As you say my opinion is that it's still too young.

I agree women are most likely to impact other women's self esteem - hence the mothers babbling on about how pretty the girls with make-up were isn't going to do much for the confidence of any girl not wearing it.

So does that mean the OP should conform and chuck some glitter on her daughter. It's sad if that is how life is.

And YY to Bisjo saying there seems such a rush for children to grow up these days.

mrsjay · 14/01/2014 13:04

So does that mean the OP should conform and chuck some glitter on her daughter. It's sad if that is how life is.

NO of course not originally I answered with you do not need to put any make up on your daughter, FWIW my youngest dd is quite immature for her age and girls take the piss of her every day for not wearing fake tan or having her trousers on to school instead of a short skirt it is heartbreaking mothers are damned if they do damned if they don't a bit of lip gloss did not make my dd grow up to quick it is all about the parents attitude imo

bisjo · 14/01/2014 13:05

Why would you want a 6 yr old to wear lip gloss? Confused

I can't see why it isn't enough for little girls to wear lovely dresses to a party and that be enough. Why do mothers think they have to add make up? I don't get the argument that you have to do it becuase your child asked you. There are loads of things are dcs ask us for that we say no to on a daily basis so why is make up any different?

bisjo · 14/01/2014 13:05

Sorry typos - our, not are.

mrsjay · 14/01/2014 13:05

because it was a lip balm that tatsted of strawberries it didnt have a colour in it

bisjo · 14/01/2014 13:07

I assume it was glossy though or was it lip salve? If it was lip salve that isn't make up (ds uses lip salve).

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