To be angry over this???

[LadyofDunedin]

My cousin was over for the weekend and we had a great time... But...

1. Her bank card is missing so she only had limited cash - I paid a lot, cooked dinner, drunk my wine (she came empty handed)

2. After she left I went to put a load of washing on and her towel is missing. She's not the tidiest, so I text to ask where is was hiding. She responds that she's taken it

There was no apology! It would appear it was not in error, and it is a massive bath sheet- can't miss it at all!!! Also heavy, and cost £££

So AIBU to be really angry that she's taken advantage of me, stolen this from me??

I texted back saying I want it back although am sure she will 'forget' it. She should really offer to post tomorrow.

I can't believe am so angry . My own cousin , and I know it's a towel, but it's ruined such a great weekend, and now am worried what else is 'hiding'

Ask her to post it back recorded delivery so it can't get "lost." Keep reminding her to do it as those big sheets are expensive and there is no way she packed it by mistake.

Like I say, will never be posted. I can ask and ask again and then I'll be made out to be previous over a towel

However, it was expensjve, more than she realises

"That's a joke, right? hmm The papers are full of horror stories about people who do just that"

Usually in cases of drug abuse etc, but I don't think this applies to Klepto-cousin.

Sounds like she got blood or poo or worse on it and is too embarrassed to fess up.

In that case any normal person would offer to post it back straight away.

PS- intrigued to know what 'or worse' could possibly be!

Who cared what she tries and makes you out to be, she has taken your towel and has to return it. Just keep on texting her to return it - any decent person would immediately.

I just can't understand when house guests turn up empty-handed. For me, this is just not an option. This is not normal.

Blimey ... it's another world on here!

Firstly I do think it would be possible to accidentally pack a towel, if it's mixed up with your other stuff.

Secondly, where do you lot SHOP?? Mine cost about £8 from Sainsbury's

I mean, deliberately stealing it isn't on, in the same way deliberately stealing anything isn't, but honestly, if I had someone ranting and raging at me about returning a towel I'd be baffled!

The bank card thing is annoying though. I had an ex friend who was a freeloader.

She took your towel? WTAF?!

Very weird. YANBU to want it back. Very weird indeed.

january why, when you have experience of a freeloading ex friend, do you think 'it's another world on here'?

It really is impossible to accidentally pack a bath towel which is probably more than 1m square, in a weekend/ overnight bag without noticing it.

I guess it depends on how much the OP's cousin packed. If her bag was quite small, hard to inadvertently pack a towel.

She barely took anything; borrowed my pjs, shampoo, showe gel, moisturisers Etc

Bear, I think it would be if her packing mentality is "pick clothes up and shove them in bag", which sounds likely from the OP's description of her, then a towel could well have been tangled up with her other stuff, if you see what I mean.

I don't know of course, she could have taken it for a whole host of reasons. It's just to me, it's a strange thing to steal! If I had kleptomaniac tendencies (I don't!) I'd go for clothes, or jewellery, or perfume or shoes, or posh shampoo or something. But a TOWEL?

And then, why admit it - if theft was the intention, why didn't she just deny all knowledge?

She could have soiled it or shoved it in by mistake but deliberately taking something like a towel just seems highly unlikely to me!

Stealing a towel is not 'cheeky', it is theft. Given the circumstances it is actually a rather nasty, entitled type of theft.

She knew you would see that it was gone, she didnt care.

For me that would mean one fewer on the Christmas Card list.

Agree with some of the other posters - she has clearly shat on the towel and thought 'ah I'll keep that, my lovely cousin won't be wanting that.'
Plus it's a nice memento of your weekend together.
Get her to send you money for a new one.

That's just rude. Have a look around and make sure everything is still there.

She might have used it to cushion the OP's crystal!

Did you count the spoons after she left?

Do you ever go to her flat? Just keep your powder dry. Don't harp on. Next time you're in her flat, rifle in her stuff & take it back.

Oh come on, nobody could accidentally pack a large, heavy bath sheet.
I wouldn't text again, I'd ring her and be blunt "you know the towel you accidentally took? You probably don't realise but it was really expensive £xxx. So please can you send it back with proof of postage? Just in case it goes missing in the post, I'd like to have the money to replace it".
Anybody who stole from me (and this was stealing) wouldn't be very welcome back.

Some people are like this. Friend lived with us for a bit, hardly paid rent, ate all our food and drank all our wine, then when she moved out took our laundry basket and my hairdryer. She'd borrowed it when she moved in and "had used it so much I'd forgotten it was yours".

OP I wouldn't invite your cousin to stay again.

You could always send her an email with a link to the towel online and tell her to buy you a new one and have it sent straight to your address.

Honestly I get the feeling that the comments on your "nice stuff" means she thinks you could stand to lose the towel because you have so much nice stuff. People see people with "nice things" and think they must be well off instead of realising some people scrimp and save.

I agree you're not BU but if you keep going on about it she will know she got to you by stealing it. If you don't comment on it she'll get away with the theft.

Perhaps a reply of something like: "You can go ahead and keep the towel because you obviously need it more than I do. I have no doubt you wouldn't have taken it if you didn't so desperately need it. I hope you get good use out of it."

Or something like that...

I'd take that grip op

and poke the cousin in the eye with it

yanbu.

YANBU. It's horrible to feel exploited by a guest even if you have fun. And even worse to find they've nicked stuff from you.