To be angry over this???

[LadyofDunedin]

My cousin was over for the weekend and we had a great time... But...

1. Her bank card is missing so she only had limited cash - I paid a lot, cooked dinner, drunk my wine (she came empty handed)

2. After she left I went to put a load of washing on and her towel is missing. She's not the tidiest, so I text to ask where is was hiding. She responds that she's taken it

There was no apology! It would appear it was not in error, and it is a massive bath sheet- can't miss it at all!!! Also heavy, and cost £££

So AIBU to be really angry that she's taken advantage of me, stolen this from me??

I texted back saying I want it back although am sure she will 'forget' it. She should really offer to post tomorrow.

I can't believe am so angry . My own cousin , and I know it's a towel, but it's ruined such a great weekend, and now am worried what else is 'hiding'

Can you post a picture of the other towels in the set so we know what it looks like?

The towels are no longer available

They are huge and a nice truffle colour, and all fluffy.

The last text just made my blood boil!!!! I think she hoped I would say oh you've dried your ass on it, just keep it

She'll be returning to pick her car up? Is it outside your house?

Because if so I suggest the following text:

'So upset by your text... you know how sensitive I am, silly old ickle wickle me. Even seeing your car outside is just reminding me of the whole terrible situation. You wouldn't mind if I got it towed would you? Or maybe maybe you could just send my fucking towel back immediately you thieving little shitscrape? Thanks awfully hunni xx'

Hi OP

She's ordered a new car , so god knows how long it will take to be built and arrive -8 weeks probably!!!!!

Properly cackling out loud at talkativejim's text :o

Please please send it!

It was the 'thieving little shitscrape' that was really my undoing.... :o:o:o:o:o

I reckon if I push it I'll defo not see it again you know! As much as I'd love to send the text...

Hee, 'thieving little shitscrape.

DM asked I don't raise with her mum as my aunty gets scary defensive and will go all 'you accusing my daughter if stealing?' When yes, actually, I am, that's what it was!

And the answer to this is 'actually, I'm not accusing, I'm telling'.

'you accusing my daughter of stealing?'
Well, what would you call it, Auntie? She's already acknowledged it wasn't an accident.

YANBU to be angry.

However, I wouldn't chase her if she's not going to return it. Just don't ever have her stay again.

You have my sympathy, OP. My mum is a one woman whirlwind of destruction and thievery. She lives quite comfortably herself, too.

The last thing she pinched from me was my gardening gloves. It's winter, so I didn't realise until I needed them to pick up a broken fence panel in my garden. I found she'd left some tatty old ones in their place - except they're crap and far too big for me (they fall off my dinky hands). I just got 'em back and they're all stretched out and... fall off my dinky hands.

She's such a bleeding nutjob, I offered to get her some nice new gardening gloves a few months ago to be met with 'Oh, I never use gardening gloves'. She also managed to 'break' my kitchen stepper that I actually do need.

I'll never forget the time she 'lent' my one job interview jacket to 'a friend'. Why her equally well off friend can't buy her own damn smart black jacket, I don't know. I was a poor student at the time, plus I only discovered it was gone the night before an interview. That seriously fucked my shit up.

Over the years, she's taken or thrown out clothes (can afford her own), shoes (her feet are a bit bigger than mine, so they end up ruined), jewellery (she has 5 times as much jewellery as I do). Anything of sentimental value, smart or designer automatically becomes hers. I've never been rich and anything designer I've had has been sourced from Oxfams, etc. I'd spend hours going up and down the high street, trying to find nice/smart things only for her to take them.

She never apologises and even cried when I told her she could not have ALL OF MY RINGS. None of them are worth any money, but all have sentimental value to me, not my mum.

Apologies, I have developed ishoos over it.

look that's bloody awful, how horrid

Some people are do entitled!!!! They actually don't see it as stealing, do they?

It upsets me as I've looked after everything I've been given, and everything I own- unlike cousin

This would be the relationship breaker for me

And of anyone said 'you shouldn't fall out over a towel' I would reply

'It isn't about the towel, it's about her dishonest and disrespectful behaviour'

As for your auntie, sounds like a relative who we all pussy footed around but once one person stood up to him it broke the spell somehow. These people think they are always right because people always back down!!

I feel like the relationship will never recover now

Just a bloody liberty, the whole thing

And you're right OP, downright disregard for me

I'd text her back and tell her to paypal you the money for it.

If I asked her to post if she won't, as she is coming back for car , this is what she will say

If I ask her to pay she'll say no, as she is coming back

Either way, am sure she will somehow misplace/ forget it between now and then and am made out to look a silly cow

It really has angered and upset me

Text her before she comes and then she can't "forget."

I intend in doing this OP, but am sure she will have 'lost' it or will be coming from work etc and not get it

Tell her you want either the towel or the money when you see her.

Is the new car on your drive?

I'd write it off. You will never get it back, or the money.

But I'd also make it clear that she won't be staying at yours again and also if your aunt does get all huffy about it tell her 'yes, she stole from me so she isn't welcome again'.

If a friend did that you wouldn't have them back.

She's not planning on staying with you is she?

The car is ordered, will be built, once if arrives she will be back

She is planning on staying, and before towel gate, I offered her to do so!

Tell her she won't be staying and to book herself a hotel. Seriously, she'll just nick something else.

Defo do not let her stay when she collects the car!!
She sounds vile.

If you let her stay she will see that as green light for her behaviour and she will probably nick the rest of the towels.

If you do let her stay I would insist she empties her bag before she leaves!