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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want the OW at my child's football match?

263 replies

Yogagirl17 · 09/01/2014 20:41

Am I within my rights to tell XH that he has no fucking right to bring OW to our DC's football match? I would like to watch my son play football and don't think I should have to set eyes on her skanky face in order to do it?

OP posts:
IamGluezilla · 09/01/2014 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

womblesofwestminster · 09/01/2014 20:46

How long have they been together? How long has she known your DC?

MuttonCadet · 09/01/2014 20:46

Sorry but I agree YABU.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 09/01/2014 20:48

Will there be pie at this match?

Or Bovril?

Hmmmm...

Original poster
Yogagirl17 · 09/01/2014 20:48

Well they were BOTH skanky - she knew exactly what she was doing. It's just all too much coming right on top of the kids spending the whole of xmas and new year with XH, OW, her kids and his parents - as if she's just taken over what used to be my life. It's so bloody unfair. I can't stop his parents welcoming her into their home but there is absolutley no fucking need for her to be at MY child's activity. How insensitive is he - is he just trying to rub my face in it?

OP posts:
sarahquilt · 09/01/2014 20:48

I don't think you're being unreasonable but I don't see how you can stop her going.

cardibach · 09/01/2014 20:48

YABU, but I can understand your reasons. SHe is his partner now, presumably, so you have to expect her to be at stuff. And, yes, he is the one who 'did you wrong' not her.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 09/01/2014 20:49

Depends how long they have been together really.Also depends what your child wants.

Not a very nice thing for you run,so I understand

BrianTheMole · 09/01/2014 20:50

Its not fair op. But I think you're going to have to try and deal with it for the sake of your ds.

HuglessDouglas · 09/01/2014 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 09/01/2014 20:53

I don't think YABU, I'd feel the same. Probably can't do anything other than show up looking good (casual but confident) and act like you don't give a shit. (Men are often insensitive, my dad brought his OW along to my parents court date to divvy up house and money etc.)

mineofuselessinformation · 09/01/2014 20:56

Say nothing. Go quietly about your business and if pushed, say hello and then ignore. It's the most dignified and adult option.
I know how you feel... Xh now lives with OW. Keep to the moral high ground.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 09/01/2014 20:57

Ouch. I'm so so sorry op. That must be nauseating. And bloody painful. Hugs hugs and wine xxxx

soundevenfruity · 09/01/2014 20:58

Hugless, I am going to borrow "face like a grieving cod". Grin
OP, if you would've brought your new partner to the match then you ex-husband can too, though it must feel awful.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 09/01/2014 20:58

I can understand why you feel like you do. It must be pretty shit to have to deal with seeing her with your ex.

I don't know what you can do about it though other than take a deep breath and blank the both of them.

LittleThorinOakenshield · 09/01/2014 21:00

I'd feel the same but I suppose this is how it's going to be now.

Hopefully given a bit of time you will have moved on and you can just feel sorry for her as she has a right skank in your ex, and I think people with no moral fibre repeat offend.

Awful though. Thanks

DameDeepRedBetty · 09/01/2014 21:02

Yanbu to not want her there of course!

Yabu to let the fucker see it.

Smile and nod, smile and nod, because not doing so will upset your dc, which is the one thing that is truly important in all of this ... and know that karma will bite them both on the arse in the end. It always does.

Thisisaghostlyeuphemism · 09/01/2014 21:02

She sounds like a cow. :(

Ignore her.

Timetoask · 09/01/2014 21:03

How infuriating for you OP. I have no advice but just wanted to say that I would feel exactly the way you do.

comingintomyown · 09/01/2014 21:03

YANBU very insensitive indeed but not much you can really do

MollyPutTheKettleOn · 09/01/2014 21:04

Of course she "did you wrong". She knew he was married and had an affair as much as the ex did. You shouldn't think you can just go around treating people like absolute shit and not take any of the responsibility.

Completely understand your feelings OP and YANBU to feel how you do, but you are BU to think you can actually stop her coming. Do what the previous posters have said. Hold your head high and be the bigger person.

mcmoonfucker · 09/01/2014 21:04

YANBU but head up, confident face on, polite hello with a definite pity smile for OW.

They may well expect 'bitter ex' type of encounter, don't give them even a snippet of that. Repeat 100 x before you get out of the car "you are welcome to him"

justmyview · 09/01/2014 21:05

Could you and ex agree to support DS on alternate matches? That way, he can bring OW if he wants, but you don't have to see her?

stickysausages · 09/01/2014 21:05

If she has the brass neck to show up, then you will have to suck it up.

ivykaty44 · 09/01/2014 21:06

Go along and smile and say good day then move over and chat to the parents you know and ignore her.

Whilst all the time you know she has to be there... As he has a history of not remembering which woman he is with so she has to keep a very close eye on him to make sure he doesn't stray.

Whereas you are now free ;)