To have felt like screaming at these women?

[endlesstidying]

I was waiting for the bus earlier today with DS in his push chair fast asleep. Our local bus services only allow 2 prams on at once. The first bus already had 2 prams so I waited another 20 minutes for the next. That bus also had 2 prams. I asked hte driver to let me get on and fold the pram but he said no because his luggage rack was full. Both women with prams saw me and one even said "sorry we're not getting off here".

I decided to try and get a taxi and walked towards the next stop which was less than a couple of minutes walk. As I got towards the stop the bus which had been stuck at the lights stopped and both women got off with their prams. The bus went just in time for me to miss it. One of the women shouted "you'd have caught it if you run".

I said nothing but AIBU to have felt like irrationally screaming at them.

(no learn to drive comments please I don't for medical reasons)

Sorry, Mintyy, just touched a VERY raw nerve, this thread.

So far, in the last month, I have spent 17 hours waiting for buses for hospital appointments , had my DS3 kicked off the list for his allergist, because I was more than 15 mins late for an appointment twice, and had to BEG the allergist to put him back on the list, broken my phone through waiting at a cold bus stop.

It's the ONE thing that makes my life the hardest, is the fact that my ONLY way to get anywhere is on buses that can't accommodate me and my DS.

Sometimes swearing is the only way I cope with that.

And maybe because I'm fed up to the eye teeth of fit, healthy parents who act like the space on the bus that is there for people with disabilities is their personal pram space...

Can you get a disabled sticker? Put it on the buggy?

They should be clearing the space for YOU not leaving you behind!!!

Couthy As a disabled person who can no longer use public transport due to deteriorating mobility, I do empathise with you but I bet you wouldn't have patronisingly yelled "you'd have caught it if you'd run" either! I think that narked the OP an awful lot.

My DS3 is in a wheelchair pram, technically I should be in a wheelchair too, I'm just not because I need to push DS3's , regardless of the pain it leaves me in, it's a wheelchair space, not a pram so pace. The signs say 'prams must be folded for wheelchairs'.

So why any fit healthy parent buggy user feels an entitlement to the space over a person with a disability is beyond me .

Yes, their daft comment was off piste, I wouldn't have said that , but they were probably applying their own way of thinking to the OP, as they would have run.

I suppose it is possible that the OP has a disability, she doesn't drive because of medical reasons. Also, I haven't noticed any "fit healthy parent buggy users" claiming an entitlement to the space over a person with a disability. Of course that scenario would be selfish and uncaring.

couthy are you having to wait because there are already prams on the bus? If so, you just have to tell the driver that you are disabled OR that your pram is a disability pram.. They have to ask the pram users to fold or move.

If a 90 second walk affects you so much, and you've spent 17 hours waiting on buses in the past month, would you not be entitled to free taxis to the hospital?

OP I feel your pain. I lived in London for a few years with this rule. As the buses almost always had 2 pushchairs on already I was effectively trapped to short walking distance of my house. (had c-section and couldn't walk far, then got pg after 6 months so had baby in pushchair and big bump. was a nightmare. The amount of otherwise empty buses that would sail past was so depressing. It really got me down.

It was a huge factor in us moving (to somewhere much more family friendly where, due to the fantastic public transport I was suddenly free) A couple of years ago I went back to where we lived in London for a visit, with my now 4 children. And guess what - the bus sailed by because there were 2 pushchairs already on it - after 13 years it had not been improved. It brought back all those feelings of rage and helplessness and being totally trapped. I was raging and all over again glad I moved.

And yes, those 2 women should have got off because they must know what it feels like.

Poor you.

I think it is rude of you to hijack this thread to have your own rant, sorry Couthy.

I cannot see how op relates to you at all.

I agree entirely, Mintyy.

I see your point, Mintyy. Sorry OP.

No, there aren't 'free taxi's' to Hospital appointments, my PCT don't cover taxi fares, only bus fares, which I don't need covered as I have a bus pass.

No, the bus drivers DON'T have to ask, and even when I ask and explain, people refuse to fold. (And I hate having yo explain and ask, as it means revealing personal medical details and my DS3's personal medical details as saying "we both have disabilities, I can't fold, and he needs to stay in his wheelchair pram" isn't enough, as people expect to know why. And still don't fold 99% of the time , even after an explanation.

In our town, if you buy a return ticket and get off the bus to allow someone else on, you have to pay again to get on the next bus. And the drivers refuse point blank to wait while somebody folds their pram to allow me on, as they are always running late due to traffic, and they get in trouble for that, so they doing want to make themselves even later by waiting for someone to fold their pram.

Which is how my story relates, in part, to the thread - people are so rude now, that they won't even fold for people with disabilities when ASKED. So they're unlikely to get off a stop early to let the OP on.

And I pointed out that the comment was rude or rather thoughtless in as much that they expected the OP to have run for the bus in the same way that they would have.

Regular bus users tend to expect not to be able to get on the first bus that arrives at the bus stop if they have a pushchair or a wheelchair.

Excuse my typos Siri is not great at voice recognition and I'm not able to type at the moment.

Couthy - I am sorry that where you live is so shitty for you. It doesn't sound great - here, my Dsis gets taxi transport to hospital appointments because she has difficulties getting the bus. She doesn't always use it, but she has the option.

Also here bus drivers do have to tell prams to get off for people with disabilities. And the bus drivers are almost all really lovely and helpful, and would wait.

I'm sorry this isn't the case for you, it does sound difficult.

Could you explain the situation to your PCT and see if they can extend your travel to taxis?

I've tried primary care trust don't do that neither do my local authority unless I give up my bus pass then I only get 12 taxis in the entire year, which isn't enough to cover the hundred 117 hospital appointments I had between me and my children last year!

'You can get umbrella folds suitable from birth (which recline to flat or nearly flat). They were the commonest ones to see in the 1990s in London when it wasn't possible to take a pushchair on a bus unless folded. And we used them every day.'

Of course you can. Even my HV mother approved a Maclaren reclinable buggy for my very small babies in the nineties, and she was paranoid about babies lying flat and being supported. We always used a Maclaren on the bus. They never fell over unless you were silly and over-loaded the handlebars with shopping.