To have felt like screaming at these women?

[endlesstidying]

I was waiting for the bus earlier today with DS in his push chair fast asleep. Our local bus services only allow 2 prams on at once. The first bus already had 2 prams so I waited another 20 minutes for the next. That bus also had 2 prams. I asked hte driver to let me get on and fold the pram but he said no because his luggage rack was full. Both women with prams saw me and one even said "sorry we're not getting off here".

I decided to try and get a taxi and walked towards the next stop which was less than a couple of minutes walk. As I got towards the stop the bus which had been stuck at the lights stopped and both women got off with their prams. The bus went just in time for me to miss it. One of the women shouted "you'd have caught it if you run".

I said nothing but AIBU to have felt like irrationally screaming at them.

(no learn to drive comments please I don't for medical reasons)

I don't think they did anything morally wrong but they weren't as kind as they could have been!

I didn't say you were facetious, I said you were being facetious.

I don't see anything in a negative light? I don't understand why you'd ask that?

I am one of the nice people who wouldn't make someone wait 20 minutes in the cold, so I could sit on a bus for 90 seconds. I consider those who don't to be not-nice people. And I called them bitches. I don't think that negates my moral code, to be honest.

I'm off to work now, I'll leave you to your needless frothing.

YANBU. Hopefully they will be thrown off the bus on some future occasion when they don't get a buggy space

I think there should be more buggy spaces on buses full stop. I now drive but I used buses all the time when I had toddlers as it was so much easier to do short journeys. Sometimes it was hell. If the government wants us to use public transport it should make it easier by encouraging the buses to be more family friendly. It would also keep investment in the high streets(because we can actually shop there conveniently instead of driving to some out of town mall), and encourage children to walk more, once they've stopped being in buggies, as they are used to being out and about on buses with parents rather than being driven everywhere

They were mean spirited.

They might have though. I've got on buses a few times and said "someone is just coming can u hold in a sec" after taking suspiciously long to find my tickets on purpose to be told " I'm running late sorry"

Don't be sure they didn't say anything

They wouldn't do a 90 second walk for her. They didn't try and hold the bus I'd bet my bollocks on it.

I hate to say YABU but they're not obligated to get off a stop early. They have every right to get off at their specific stop.
Could they have been more considerate? Yes.
You could have screamed at them but they would think you're just crazy.

Has anyone, anywhere ever seen anyone fold a buggy to get on a bus, or make room?

Those huge 4x4 ones would take hours to dismantle anyway, never understand why anyone would want to bring one on a bus, what's wrong with the ones that fold down to the size of an umbrella? Saying there should be more room for buggies, no, buggies should be better designed to fold easily, one handed.

Of course we have, Pamish. Some of us are over 40 you know .

People have seen me collapse plenty of times. Double buggies and tanks and sleeping babies trump even my sleeping toddler in an umbrella fold. As do elderly with sticks and walking frames.

Mums/dads with multiple small children do too. And the obvious member of public who's space it is in the first place.

All those senarios have seen me collapse quickly and without question or getting off bus early to make room for someone who needs space more.

I have seen others do the same.

I would have got off, but I wouldn't have had to because I nearly always fold. My pushchair is light and folds really easily and my dd can stand whilst I do it so it's not a pain. Sometimes the drivers moan I don't need to do that (as they wait until I sit down) but I do because a few stops down there are nearly always 2+ prams waiting.

When I sold-on my McLaren umbrella fold pushchair I advertised it as a handy second puschair for using on buses. Because not only was it really easy to collapse if necessary , it was also small enough to wheel on to buses without wheeling over people's feet or getting jammed stuck in the aisles, and could also be collapsed if Mum and baby were in a coffee shop or similar. Of course, none of the local parents wanting a second lightweight pushchair who answered my ad could get their heads around the fact that this was, in fact, my dcs only pushchair and we had somehow muddled through their childhoods without needing a bugaboo or icandy or stokke or whatever you needed from about 2005 onwards.

I hope they read this and are ashamed. Why!?

When DS1 was tiny there weren't any buggy spaces on our buses. You had to fold up the buggy if you wanted to get on. Everyone did it, and had a buggy that folded up easily. People with giant pram didn't use public transport. Of course, it meant no one in a wheelchair could get on the bus. Or anyone who couldn't get up the steps.

I couldn't face doing it while DS1 was tiny, so I bought a sling (which were much less common then too). I was crap at trying to wrangle a buggy and hold a newborn at the same time.

It's only in recent years that people have started imagining that folding up a buggy is some kind of impossibility or hardship. A bit like how some people seem to feel about parent and child spaces in the supermarket.

YANBU. Absolutely not. I'd expect anyone using buses with babies and young children to know what bloody hard work it is and help each other out. I'd definitely have got off the bus for you, OP, even in the rain, and I'd have had three little ones with me.

Umbrella fold buggies don't really work for small babies, only for toddlers. They generally don't recline for little ones to nap in if you're out for the day. They don't fit your shopping underneath (it's impossible to carry it, hold toddlers' hands, and push buggy). They tip if you hang shopping from the bars, or even a changing bag. A lot can't fit rain cover or foot muff. They're difficult to push, especially with one hand (if you need a hand for a toddler). None of this matters for a one off journey, but if you use the bus daily and you're out all day, it does. A full day out in a sling is also hard work, with bags, buses, toddlers, older children. Perhaps you need a double buggy? Many reasons for taking a larger pram on the bus - sorry if it's inconvenient for you. Not as inconvenient as it is for me!

You can get umbrella folds suitable from birth (which recline to flat or nearly flat). They were the commonest ones to see in the 1990s in London when it wasn't possible to take a pushchair on a bus unless folded. And we used them every day.

They don't tip if you use the proper place for putting shopping. And have both rain covers and foot muffs.

OK, some posters might not like them. But no need to misdescribe them.

And, on the first layout London bus (and on several patterns in use now) you can fit 3 umbrella fold pushchairs (yes, even the big suitable fom birth models such as I had) into th space taken by one Bugaboo (any except the very smallest, which is same width as top of range MacLaren).

And one way to make choices to help other mothers on buses is to choose bus-friendly pushchairs. Increases capacity by a third.

And is the sort of selfless act as getting of a stop early so that someon else can use the bus too.

Fuck off. Try getting on a bus to a Hospital appointment with a child who CANNOT get out of his buggy on the bus because 1. He has life threatening CONTACT allergies, and people eat on the bus. 2. He can't walk far due to hypermobility syndrome. 3. He doesn't understand about not touching things because he has global development delay. 4. YOU as the parent are also disabled with epilepsy (the reason you can't drive) AND arthritis (the reason you can't fold the pram).

And his 'pram' isn't even a pram. It's a disability pram, which comes from wheelchair services, and is what they give to the under 5's who need a wheelchair.

I can't even book a Hospital appointment before 10.45am as there is no WAY I can get on the bus before 10am. Usually I arrive at the bus stop at 8.55am, and finally am able to get on the 10.10 bus. There are buses every 10 minutes.

What is the point in having a disability bus pass if I can't get on the fucking bus?!

So to all of you fit and healthy mums moaning about not getting on the bus, SCREW YOU!!

(Sore point...)

In reality, I don't mean that as rude as it sounds, I'm just fed up with being in tears at the bus stop because of missing my DS3's medical appointments.

Last week I broke my phone because I tried to call the bus company to clear a space for me (they do that if it's been 4+ buses I can't get on, which is a 40 min + wait) but my hands had frozen and it slipped through my fingers. Bad week...

And maybe they DID ask the driver to wait. 99% of the time, the drivers can't wait - if they are late, the bus company gets fined, so the drivers are under pressure NOT to wait if they are not running early.

The looks I get because I can't stand to let another buggy squeeze in (I have mobility problems), DS3 is almost 3, and looks it, and his disability pram doesn't look like a wheelchair, even though it IS. I have to sit, and he HAS to stay in it. Do I need to tell that to every random stranger wanting to get on the bus, explain my personal medical issues in front of a bus full of strangers, explain my DS3's medical issues in front of him, on a bus full of strangers? Nope.

Doesn't make me a bitch, just makes me someone who has no alternative to bus travel because I can't afford taxi's.

couthy you've applied different circumstances and it's touched a nerve.

No one is asking people to get off the bus unreasonable early. This was a 90 second bus ride - that was the issue.

Why the "fuck off" Couthy? Totally unnecessary!

For me, that can make the difference between being able to MOVE after I get home or not...