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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have felt like screaming at these women?

167 replies

endlesstidying · 09/01/2014 12:36

I was waiting for the bus earlier today with DS in his push chair fast asleep. Our local bus services only allow 2 prams on at once. The first bus already had 2 prams so I waited another 20 minutes for the next. That bus also had 2 prams. I asked hte driver to let me get on and fold the pram but he said no because his luggage rack was full. Both women with prams saw me and one even said "sorry we're not getting off here".

I decided to try and get a taxi and walked towards the next stop which was less than a couple of minutes walk. As I got towards the stop the bus which had been stuck at the lights stopped and both women got off with their prams. The bus went just in time for me to miss it. One of the women shouted "you'd have caught it if you run".

I said nothing but AIBU to have felt like irrationally screaming at them.

(no learn to drive comments please I don't for medical reasons)

OP posts:
SabraCadabra · 09/01/2014 13:20

Theyd paid their busfare, same as everyone else.Why should they get off stop early?they might have a really long walk whereever they are going.

SirChenjin · 09/01/2014 13:21

Or they might have just been lazy mares who couldn't be arsed walking an additional 2 minutes to let another woman onto the bus with her pram.

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/01/2014 13:21

Well they were under no obligation to get ff earky just for you.

But I can tell you I would have done as I am able to walk with no difficulty and it wouldn't bother me at all I've done it several times before. I would also have asked the drier to wait for you.

However the drivers don't always care and they may well hae told him who knows.

SirChenjin · 09/01/2014 13:23

The thing is, there are a lot of things that we're not obligated to do - but we do them because we are nice, kind people who have been raised well to consider others.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 09/01/2014 13:23

Why call them bitches?? Because, being fully aware of the situation the OP was in, and their (up till then not unreasonable role in it) they decided to come out with the comment "you'd have caught it if you run". If the hat fits...

Mintyy · 09/01/2014 13:25

Oh, don't bother trying to be reasonable SirChenjin. This thread is riddled with ignorant arses like so many others on Mumsnet atm.

2tiredtocare · 09/01/2014 13:26

Expecting a bit of camaraderie is entiiiiitleeed

SirChenjin · 09/01/2014 13:28

True Mintyy.

The older I'm getting the more MN appears to be inhabited by aliens from another galaxy. "Me me me meeeeeeeeeeeeeee" seems to be increasingly the mantra on here.

blameitonthecaffeine · 09/01/2014 13:30

It would have been nice of them to get off. I think most people would have. But I don't think they were obliged to and disgusting not to.

Maybe one or more of them had a mobility problem which would make a 2 minute walk unpleasant. Unlikely but possible.

struggling100 · 09/01/2014 13:30

I would have got off a stop early in their shoes. Good deed of the day and all that! Plus, it would have been an extra few calories burned and maybe that would mean I could have a little bit of chocolate later on!! Smile

Original poster
endlesstidying · 09/01/2014 13:30

onesleep I suppose the reason I would expect someone else to get off the bus early is that I would do it myself. I just see it as treating others as I'd wish to be treated. As you say they were quite entitled to go another stop and technically did nothing wrong.

However it was very frustrating (hence feeling like screaming) and ultimately expensive in taxi fares for me. At least I could afford the taxi for someone else it might have meant waiting a full hour for a bus with a baby in the cold so that the two ladies could enjoy the extra ninety second trip to their destination.

OP posts:
Mintyy · 09/01/2014 13:31

Yes, and not just mee mee mee, but mee mee fuck off mee Wink.

This is the perfect thread to illustrate all that is wrong with Mn right now.

2tiredtocare · 09/01/2014 13:33

Your frustration is entirely normal

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/01/2014 13:33

I like your thinking struggling :o

I always collapse mine or get off a stop early. Seems daft to watch someone collapse their buggy or not get on when there's not that many stops on my route where it would take more than a few minutes extra to walk.

Not everyone does though regardless of how many stops they have left. People have their own moral code I can only do what I feel is best.

Farrowandbawl · 09/01/2014 13:34

Not just MN, society in general is very selfish.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 09/01/2014 13:35

YANBU to feel frustrated but YWBU to have expected them to get off for you. They were there first and they paid for their journey.

LadyintheRadiator · 09/01/2014 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2tiredtocare · 09/01/2014 13:37

I used to take the kids to school on the bus and when I couldnt get on because it was packed with college students getting off at the next stop and we were stood in the rain I wanted to scream too of course no one has to get off but the lack of care for others is depressing

Original poster
endlesstidying · 09/01/2014 13:38

By the way our area has flat bus fares so unless you're going only one stage fare (which appears to consist of 3 stops so not very far) then you pay the same fare regardless of wehther you're going 10 minutes or half an hour down the road. I thought most of the country operated like this now but would seem I'm wrong judging from all the comments about paying to a particular bus stop and wasting money

OP posts:
Mim78 · 09/01/2014 13:38

The thing that was so mean was that they made the comment about "if you'd run". I think that's why people are calling them bitches, and it was v unkind.

They weren't obliged to get off a stop early but it would have been kind of them if they had. Ideally I'd like to think that people would do that.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 09/01/2014 13:38

Do people not just do nice things now, ever?

Is there a new law that I missed?

How bloody hard is it to do something for someone other than yourself?

No, they didnt have to get off the bus. But I know I would in that situation. Because I like to think we live in a world where people are not entirely selfish 100% of the time. Clearly I am mistaken?

Farrowandbawl · 09/01/2014 13:39

The OP didn't expect anything. She certainly wouldn't have mentioned anything is it wasn't for the stupid ill thought out comment by one of these people who got off the bus.

It's one of those small things that doesn't usually bother you, but after a series of small events, turns into a much bigger deal than it usually is.

A poster upthread said it was like rubbing salt in the wound and that's exactly what it was.

I don't think the comment said was ment to be nasty, after all they weren't to know how long the OP had been waiting for but it wasn't a well thought out thing to say if you were in the OP's shoes.

It's like when someone says to you "Cheer up love it might never happen". It's not intended to piss you off, but depending on the day you've had - it could have been the final straw.

Mountain and molehill.

struggling100 · 09/01/2014 13:41

SabraCadabra - the OP said that the next stop was literally 2 minutes' walk down the road. It can't have added that much to their walk!

WandaDoff · 09/01/2014 13:42

YABU if you had actually screamed at them.

Which you didn't. Thanks for the admirable self control.

YANBU for feeling that way though.

They technically didn't do anything wrong, but if you take the snidey shouted comment into account, they sound like they were just putting the boot in for the sake of it.

Unfortunately some people are just arseholes.

BloominNora · 09/01/2014 13:45

mintty This is the perfect thread to illustrate all that is wrong with Mn right now.

This is the perfect thread to illustrate what is wrong with society right now, let alone MN.

Every person for themselves, no consideration for others, I want it / paid for / am entitled to it so why should I do something even remotely helpful or kind for someone else if it means putting myself out.

It's just plain selfish really, but that's the society we live in these days!

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