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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have felt like screaming at these women?

167 replies

endlesstidying · 09/01/2014 12:36

I was waiting for the bus earlier today with DS in his push chair fast asleep. Our local bus services only allow 2 prams on at once. The first bus already had 2 prams so I waited another 20 minutes for the next. That bus also had 2 prams. I asked hte driver to let me get on and fold the pram but he said no because his luggage rack was full. Both women with prams saw me and one even said "sorry we're not getting off here".

I decided to try and get a taxi and walked towards the next stop which was less than a couple of minutes walk. As I got towards the stop the bus which had been stuck at the lights stopped and both women got off with their prams. The bus went just in time for me to miss it. One of the women shouted "you'd have caught it if you run".

I said nothing but AIBU to have felt like irrationally screaming at them.

(no learn to drive comments please I don't for medical reasons)

OP posts:
whichdidyouchoose · 09/01/2014 14:49

Still don't know who you mean.

Juno77 · 09/01/2014 14:51

It's irrelevant though, how long she had been at the bus stop.

I just can't imagine ever being in a situation where I would allow someone to make a 20 minute wait (knowing it may well be 40, or 60) to allow myself an extra 60-90 seconds on a bus?! I just can't imagine ever being that bloody selfish!

MarmaladeBatkins · 09/01/2014 14:52

That isn't the point, Calamitously.

They DID know that they were getting off one stop down the road. If they'd been nice people, they could have thought about helping out a fellow parent and walking the 250 yards or so between stops.

Like I say, if they'd been nice people. Not everyone is. :)

whichdidyouchoose · 09/01/2014 14:52

Juno I entirely agree and I would (and do) put myself out for my fellow human beings and I don't expect a smile or thank you in return but of course it is nice if I receive one.

SidandAndyssextoy · 09/01/2014 14:55

Gandhi would have walked the whole way, with the bus driver on his back.

CalamitouslyWrong · 09/01/2014 14:57

But you don't know that it was a minor inconvenience to them, any more than they knew what a shit time the OP was having. Who knows what they were doing after getting off the bus at that particular stop.

The calling out bit was a bit arsey, of course.

whichdidyouchoose · 09/01/2014 14:58

Oh right, you were referring to Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the freedom fighter, sorry I didn't understand.

MarmaladeBatkins · 09/01/2014 15:00

They might have had a hidden illness.

Might have.

Might have just been a thoughtless arse.

LiberalLibertine · 09/01/2014 15:01

Thing is, if they had said to the driver 'we're getting off next stop' chances are he would have let op stand next to him with the buggy, she could then let them off and sit down.

They didn't, and they made that pissy comment....because they are witches.

Karmas a bitch though,I hope similar happens to them when they least need it.

whichdidyouchoose · 09/01/2014 15:02

Was he another violent dogooder as well?

Onesleeptillwembley · 09/01/2014 15:02

Juno you're misinterpreting what people have said. I'll make it clear for you. The women did nothing wrong in staying on the bus. And are certainly not bitches or cows because of that. Just because I can see this fact does not mean that I have stated I would do the same thing. Completely different things.

HopeS01 · 09/01/2014 15:04

I would have got off for you, OP. And YAdefinitelyNBU for feeling cross.
What a disappointment, it's a sad, selfish world we live in. Some of the previous posters should be ashamed of themselves. I wonder if they would have a different opinion if they had been in your situation!? Hmm

LiberalLibertine · 09/01/2014 15:07

Just for stats I would have got off too if needed.

I've been in a position where a girl with a baby with a bad cold (her too) got to bus stop after me, only one buggy allowed on and I let her take it and got the next one.

It's nice to be nice people.

whichdidyouchoose · 09/01/2014 15:08

How interesting that you are taking Juno's comments personally, Onesleep. Especially when they were couched in such general terms, I wonder why that could be?

Original poster
endlesstidying · 09/01/2014 15:09

Funnily enough I know exactly where they were going because they walked just behind me down the road and went into the pub which was about a minutes walk from bus stop 2 and 2-3 minutes walk from bus stop 1.

However that's drip feeding (slaps self on wrist) and I'm quite happy to accept the mixed judgement that I'm being both reasonable and unreasonable.

OP posts:
Onesleeptillwembley · 09/01/2014 15:18

Not taking it personally, just feel that Juno is misreading what people are saying. No mystery.

whichdidyouchoose · 09/01/2014 15:22

So what would you have done in the same position, onesleep ?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 09/01/2014 15:23

Does it matter where they were going?

The fact is, they could have got off the bus one stop early and walked, what, 90 seconds.

It's also a fact that people who are generally kind and decent and remember what it's like, being stuck at a bus stop with a buggy and a child for 20 minutes, and want to do a tiny little thing to make a persons day just a tiny bit easier, would have got off the bus.

People who think that they were perfectly correct to stay on the bus, because they paid the fare like everyone else and why should they have to walk when they do not have to are selfish arses. But there are plenty of those in the world.

Like the one who wouldn't take her fucking bag off the seat to let a 3 year old sit down. Or the other one with her bag on the seat that wouldn't move for a woman with a toddler and a baby in a sling. Or the one who said to my mum that she wasn't giving up her seat because she paid for her seat and my mum has a freedom pass and so what if she had a bad leg.
I'm just glad I'm not one of those people.

Juno77 · 09/01/2014 15:24

I'm not misinterpreting at all.

I think the women did do something wrong, because in my opinion, they acted very selfishly. They could have made a 2 minute walk in exchange for someone not having to wait 20 minutes. I would have done this without hesitation, therefore I perceive their actions as wrong.

The 'fact' that you can see isn't actually a fact to me. It's quite the opposite. I think they were nasty, selfish bitches, because there was an easy opportunity to help someone out, do a good deed, and they chose not to take it.

That isn't nice behaviour. It isn't the way I was brought up.

Juno77 · 09/01/2014 15:26

Tantrums you are right. And I am also so glad not to be one of those people.

I will die a happy woman, knowing that I spend my life with the ethos 'it's nice to be nice'. I would much rather be remembered, even by strangers, for a tiny act of kindness than a tiny act of selfishness.

Onesleeptillwembley · 09/01/2014 15:28

Honestly? If I had had my injured knee at that point, I would have stayed on. If I was fine I would have got off for the sake of one stop. I've done it before on full buses. But that's irrelevant. People are not selfish, bitches, or cows because they choose to finish their journey on the bus. Expecting people to do it is unreal. Hoping they would or wishing they had is completely understandable.

Juno77 · 09/01/2014 15:30

Well, I wouldn't expect anyone with mobility problems to give up a seat, so you're being facetious. But, if that were me, I would say 'sorry I have an injured knee and can't walk the extra'. That's just me though.

I absolutely disagree that choosing to finish their 90 second journey, which was creating a 20 minute wait for someone else, isn't selfish. It completely, utterly is.

Seems people are fine just being selfish though. What a lovely world we are in.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 09/01/2014 15:33

of course it is selfish

why should i get off to help someone
I was here first.

What is that if not selfish?

LittleThorinOakenshield · 09/01/2014 15:33

If your going to be selfish be selfish, then don't out the tin hat on it by saying you'd have caught it if you ran!

On our buses in the city the stops are one minutes walk from each other, I seriously cannot imagine sitting there watching someone run from stop to stop, knowing the next stop and the pub is that short a distance away.

Especially as the OP entered dialogue with the driver about trying to get on.

As someone else said if they had even mentioned to the driver they were getting off next he might have let her squeeze on.

Onesleeptillwembley · 09/01/2014 15:34

Sigh. So now I'm facetious. No, I'm saying that if I had the injury I was recovering from when I had dc1 I would make a different decision. The women were bitches and cows fir daring to finish their own journey. Do you see everything people do or say in such a negative light? Not very nice of you, is it. Puts your being a 'nice person' persona in a different light.