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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take dd out of school

243 replies

Whatwouldmumdo · 07/01/2014 23:59

Name changed.
Ok we've had a rubbish Xmas health wise and a number of very stressful events recently. It's taken it's toll on myself dh and dd (11).
We need a break, we really do but funds are right and it's a long time until half term anyway.
There are some great deals if we travel in the next couple of weeks, as in a week away with Travel etc for less than £400. We'd get some sun, some peace and it is just what all three of is need.

Dd is doing very well at school, exceeding all targets set for her. We've taken her out of school (with permission) for a long weekend holiday once before but that was years ago and she's since moved school.

I hear that the new school is quite strict about this.

What exactly can the school do if we take her out without permission?

If we go, I'm not inclined to encourage her to lie and say she was ill so if we did go away we'd be facing their reaction head on.

I know that school is important and a privilege and I'm not taking her missing school lightly. The decision isn't yet made but I do think it would be beneficial to her after such a rough few weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 09/01/2014 14:02

dromedary. You're right I wouldn't and you make a good point about the commitment to school, I take that on board.

I think in this instance either we all go or none of us. I feel like if I went away now it might seem like dd's feelings/recent experience didn't matter or weren't as valid as mine IYSWIM?

OP posts:
WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 09/01/2014 14:02

Have not read thread but please go go go go go go go go go.

WillBeatJanuaryBlues · 09/01/2014 14:06

Op Just skimmmed the usual bully posts, please ignore, and go and have a break.

I am sure we all had class mates who went away on regular holidays in the old days, I certainly did and they were never ever behind or had their grades effected or anything...they just had a nice break.

I am a big believer in travel, and I shudder when I hear people who cannot go abroad saying you do not need to!

Such a mean and narrow view point.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 09/01/2014 14:12

I don't really get this "I need, I deserve a holiday ASAP" angst when you have school kids. I just can't imagine saying "yes, darling, you do need to go school every day but not these days because they are special days that I have decided".

candycoatedwaterdrops · 09/01/2014 14:13

Typical MN, you disagree and get branded a bully. Grin It's a really overused word on here.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 09/01/2014 14:18

candy stop bulling me Wink

OP posts:
ophelia275 · 09/01/2014 14:18

I never understand why people are so fussed about taking occasional necessary breaks during school time. A holiday can be much more memorable and in the scheme of things much more important than a few days extra at school, especially during the earlier years before kids do exams.

I do understand that schools want to instill respect for authority and stability but sometimes I think they go over the top, especially if its just taking off a few days once every few years. A holiday can be as good for kids learning and mental health as school itself imo.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 09/01/2014 15:21

Obviously I haven't been able to give all the details about what's been happening on here, but I have told the head everything and that I'd fully accept a fine if that was their decision. But they decided that our circumstances could be considered exceptional and agreed that dd's education would not suffer for 1 week off.

They said that they believe emotional health is important and that learning how to notice and address situations that might upset emotional health is one of the things that parents have to teach children.

I am surprised. I expected them to be sympathetic bit anticipated a blanket response of 'it's out of our hands'.

The head said that her excellent attendance, punctuality and commitment to homework/class work is factored in to these decisions and they have no concerns.

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 09/01/2014 15:33

If school say yes then just go. if they give a valid reason why you shouldn't go then wait until hols. DS has had a few days either side of school hols before and school were happy to authorise. sorry you have had a hard time. If you don't go is there anywhere local you could go, maybe a night in a posh hotel, day of pampering for you and dd nice dinner with DH and DD. nowhere near as exciting as going away on a hol abroad but might help until you can get away properly.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 09/01/2014 15:34

Whatwouldmumdo Quite clearly you are bullying me by calling me a bully.

Original poster
Whatwouldmumdo · 09/01/2014 15:53

candy cry baby

OP posts:
Borntorun25 · 09/01/2014 16:52

whatwouldmumdo that's fantastic! What a sensible, understanding and flexible head teacher.
Now you can take your holiday and get the full benefit without any worries or guilt.
Really hope it helps and you all come back feeling a bit better.

isitsnowingyet · 09/01/2014 17:26

Go for it - lots of folk go twice a year still

CiderBomb · 09/01/2014 17:35

I don't understand why schools are so arsey about kids going on holiday these days? It was never a problem when I was a kid, proving you didn't make a habit of it. The only time I wouldn't remove a child from school is during their GCSE's, other than that I've never really seen the problem,especially when children from other cultures are allowed to disappear for months on end?

cjel · 09/01/2014 18:15

Thats great news. I am so pleased for you, now you can book it and enjoy it. Hope it worksSmile

Dromedary · 09/01/2014 18:24

It's so dependent on the personality of the head teacher. It is inconceivable that anyone at my DC's school would have been given this time off, even before the new rules were brought in. I once asked for a couple of days off because I had to go on a training course for my work and so that I could do that the children needed to go to relatives. It was refused. They would have refused it even if not going had meant losing my job. There are lots of childen from overseas, and they are not allowed time off either.

applepieplease · 09/01/2014 19:33

Disagree with comment about SATs being for school and not child. Child's GCSE targets and setting will be based on SATs results .. Therefore very important.

applepieplease · 09/01/2014 19:35

And as for schools bring 'arsey' firstly we like children to be in school learning and secondly we are also under pressure from LA and OFSTED to have above average attendance.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 09/01/2014 19:41

I need a holiday too. Sad
I work 6:30 til 5pm and quite frankly am bloody knackered! Haven't been abroad for 4 years. I literally cannot afford to go during holidays because of the stupidly inflated prices. The school won't authorise it though, the arrogant bastards.

Well hopefully they'll realise I'm not there on Monday and get a supply in.

Phaush · 09/01/2014 20:37

Good to see OFSTED and the LEA understand averages so well they want all schools to be above average, applepieplease.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 09/01/2014 20:43

Where did she say "all schools," Phaush?

Goldmandra · 09/01/2014 20:51

Where did she say "all schools," Phaush?

Unfortunately s/he's right. They do. Every school is expected to achieve above average or explain why Confused

secretsofsanta · 09/01/2014 20:51

I would love a break, would be really goid for us all. But we just have to carry on.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 09/01/2014 20:53

Goldmantra,
I think Phaush was trying to be witty, as obviously ALL schools cannot be "above average."

Goldmandra · 09/01/2014 20:54

I think Phaush was trying to be witty, as obviously ALL schools cannot be "above average."

Try explaining that to Ofsted.

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