To take dd out of school

[Whatwouldmumdo]

Name changed.
Ok we've had a rubbish Xmas health wise and a number of very stressful events recently. It's taken it's toll on myself dh and dd (11).
We need a break, we really do but funds are right and it's a long time until half term anyway.
There are some great deals if we travel in the next couple of weeks, as in a week away with Travel etc for less than £400. We'd get some sun, some peace and it is just what all three of is need.

Dd is doing very well at school, exceeding all targets set for her. We've taken her out of school (with permission) for a long weekend holiday once before but that was years ago and she's since moved school.

I hear that the new school is quite strict about this.

What exactly can the school do if we take her out without permission?

If we go, I'm not inclined to encourage her to lie and say she was ill so if we did go away we'd be facing their reaction head on.

I know that school is important and a privilege and I'm not taking her missing school lightly. The decision isn't yet made but I do think it would be beneficial to her after such a rough few weeks.

Fair enough OP.

A mum I know at our school was told the fine doesn't kick in until you have had 10 sessions, eg 5 days unauthorised absence. This was Cheshire East. She took her daughter out of school for the last four days before Christmas, as they had the Friday off anyway.

Each LEA is interpreting the rules differently, whatsonyourplate

I've read the whole thread and haven't seen anyone ask you what your DD wants to do.

Has she told you that she feels unable to cope in school, less than a week after having a two-week break and that what she needs is another week off school?

If your daughter is being affected that badly by stress, take her to her GP and get them to sort out a medical note. Job done.

Seriously, has nobody spotted that yet?

RHONDA, Fullygrown adults don't always recognise whats best for them when under stress so how does an 11 year old?

Also since when is the Christmas break a rest?

suburban. Good question. We hadn't wanted to tell/ask her until we decided whether it was a good option. Now that we have we've spoken to her.

She isn't worried about catching up as she's very confident in her studies and in us being able to help her if she needs it.

We told her we were thinking of taking a break because we felt like none of us had one over Xmas and we've all had a lot to deal with. We asked how she felt and she said she'd be happy either way. She felt ok but was worried about me and other grown ups in her life and how they might be feeling.
However you hide things, at 11 she can tell when people are upset. She's so like me! No I'm fine, I'm more worried about you!
So she says she's fine either way. To be honest that's exactly what I expected her to say.
I know some people will read that and say that if she's feeling bad/looking tired, it's down to me and I should pull myself together. The issue is that I'm supporting other people in their grief and I'm worn out. I believe dd is struggling more than she says, but it is so like her not to say so right now given the level of stress she can see.

I want her to feel important and seen and relaxed.

I just want up go away with my dh and dd, switch off our mobiles and just forget everything, just for a few days, I want to feel like I'm doing the right thing and not like a criminal vomiting an offence. I adore her and want what's best.

I'm crying now and just read back through my own post and laughed out loud at 'vomiting'!

Time to get some rest, talk to school tomorrow and book yourself that lovely break you all deservexx

If she is genuinely very distressed or disturbed by events perhaps her GP would sign her off sick

Go for it. You are the parent, and you understand the importance of education, but really, people getting their knickers in a knot over one day?! I will be taking my DC out of school during term to visit my family and I personally dont give a shite about the school's reputation. Because let's face it, this is what bothers them the most.

I think you should go...do what's best for your family. You'll have the chance to unwind, relax and hopefully come back refreshed! It's really not going to damage her education.

Have a lovely time!

YABU because it's only a 5 week wait!

If you don't want to hear opinions that don't concur with your own, OP, then don't post on AIBU.
Re my comment on secondary school offers, thanks for correcting my error. However, having read an earlier post about how SATS results can affect which set pupils are put into, I would be even less inclined to take a child out of school for a holiday.

"If you don't want to hear opinions that don't concur with your own, OP, then don't post on AIBU."

Oh, a thousand times this. "Am I being unreasonable?" "Yeah, a bit." "YOU DON'T KNOW ME OR MY CHILD!"

If you wanted sympathy, this probably wasn't the place.

FunLovin Do you really believe 5 days is going to ruin her SAT results?

whatsonyourplate is correct about the 10 sessions.

After 10 sessions (5 days) unauthorised LAs can issue a penalty notice. Most will issue a warning first, stating that any further unauth absence in the following 20 days will trigger a fine. Some LEAs do a 'fast track' and will issue the penalty when you ask for the holiday but it's a bit iffy because at that point you aren't yet guilty of the offence (unless attendance is already poor).

Whatwould - I'd take her. You're unlikely to be fined if her attendance is usually good and it sounds like you need the break.

funlovin I didn't correct you, someone else did. I'm open to opinions and not offended/upset by them, I do resent people presuming to know my daughter's nature. Several teachers have posted here saying that SAT results do not influence high school sets. I, like many others am confident that a few days will not completely alter the results my dd achieves.

MBT plenty of people disagree with taking my child out of school. I accept that and don't have an issue, my issue was very specifically to do with comments about what was best for my dd. People saying 'what your dd needs is..." That's what I disliked. I'm am a seasoned mumsnetter, I get what AIBU is like otherwise I'd have flounced by now

I can never understand the difference between me taking my child out of school and the end of term time when they spend all day watching DVDs.

Some schools organise their initial sets according to SAT results, others don't set until later in Year 7, when they've had a chance to make some of their own assessments as well. Some schools administer CAT tests (similar to IQ tests, assessing aptitude in certain areas) to help formulate judgements. A good school, however, will ensure that their sets are fluid and that students can move up/down as appropriate.

However, your child's GCSE targets are based on their KS2 results, and all progress is measured from that point. It's arguable as to who benefits most from that, the child, parent or school.

You've already admitted that it's not just about your DD, it's about you too!

Oh ffs, we do NOT spend all day watching DVDs. That's such a lazy cliché.

candy actually I never once suggested that it was just about my dd.