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AIBU?

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Original poster

to feel that it's quite nitpicky here these days?

224 replies

SherlustHolmes · 07/01/2014 17:48

I've been a prolific poster on here for seven years under various names (Cod. Lavender. Moldies. Shitting elves. Pirates. That fucking bat.)

In the last few months I've been nipped at for so many things - posting style, choice of words, posting in the wrong place... And today I made a mistake and got pulled up quite rightly but then got pulled up again when i tried to rectify it and didn't do so exactly as one poster had suggested. Their point was valid but it kind of eclipses the issue in question.

I've always loved that Mumsnet posters don't allow inaccuracies and are quick to correct them. And I've always tried to take criticism on the chin. But it's been so frequent recently that I've committed minor infractions of unwritten rules, I feel pretty fed up and got at. In forums I've always tried to ignore or overlook errors - I suppose it's easier to ignore them than to go out of my way to correct people, and for what purpose? It feels like there are plain clothes posting police in here.

Has anyone else noticed this or have I randomly become hypersensitive?

OP posts:
Juno77 · 08/01/2014 14:54

But isn't the attitude of 'type as they please' a really sad statement of our society?

It's grammar anarchy.

Juno77 · 08/01/2014 14:55

littlethorin yes. If I had a friend who said 'should of' I would absolutely correct them.

How embarrassing to keep using something that's just plain incorrect?

Weelady77 · 08/01/2014 14:57

What else did you want me to say?? I said my bit I gave my reasons! And most importantly I wasn't rude or nasty

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/01/2014 14:57

Maybe the site has been taken over by a joyless Cyber fembot version of Skynet - Conform or die! Unacceptable posters will be upgraded or deleted...

Actually that would be really fun Grin

I think it is probably cyclical - MN is big biz these days and the huge number of anonymous posters means there is bound to be offense given/ taken ... we are on a more serious phase perhaps it will lighten up in the Spring?!?

Pagwatch · 08/01/2014 14:59

Honestly, if I was talking to a friend about my relationship and they corrected my grammar they would not be my friend anymore.
It is fatuous and rude.
Why is grammar more important than manners?

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 14:59

Aren't you embarrassed to be doing it?

I would feel like a massive twat pulling someone up on their grammar over a drink.

What do they say, oh thanks Juno, I have not only had a nice evening out, I have also grown as a person.

Come on, bet you don't.

SPsFifthConyoIsTheBestConyo · 08/01/2014 15:02

Correcting friends grammar? Shock I'm glad my friends don't give a shit Grin

It is very nit picky here OP

People seem to read OPs and posts and see things no one else can. It's like a skill that some posters have Grin

Heartbrokenmum73 · 08/01/2014 15:03

Weelady - I wanted you to explain your reasoning and you honestly didn't seem to want to do that. I had my reasoning against but you didn't have any for. It's not wrong, when in a debate to ask for both sides to give their reasoning - that's not rude. If you think it is, you don't understand what a debate is. Nobody called you anything, whereas you referred to people as KH-like - which you've done again on this thread.

Just as you're allowed your opinion, others are allowed to disagree with you and give their reasons why they disagree. You can't enter into a debate and call people names when they disagree with your stance on something. If anything, that just shows that your argument has no legs.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 08/01/2014 15:05

In reality, though, I don't think anybody actually says should of or would of. They say should've (which is correct, really). I think when written down some people automatically think it's should of/would of.

Coming from a family of pedantic, sarcastic correctors (I know that's not a word Grin) it wouldn't bother me.

But I am shit with apostrophes!

MomsStiffler · 08/01/2014 15:05

I can't understand idiots who will take the time to nit-pick and abuse rather than actually reply to the OP.

I mean, how bored do you have to be to actually take time out to type some rubbish that no-one apart from a few sycophantic copy-cats will care about?

If you're not contributing to the conversation, then don't post...

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/01/2014 15:07

Yep I may mutter (out of earshot) when the HT of my child's primary school - says 'Should of' in an assembly - or one of my friends uses the wrong tense - but No I do Not point out their error. It is rude and a bit pointless and just rude.

I point out errors in my children's speech (hate lazy pronunciation) but that is as a parent.

But a stranger on the net? Posts are often written in hast and possibly in high emotion - these are not well crafted articles submitted for editing - as long as the information they want to convey is communicated then why worry about the grammar/ spelling?

TheBigJessie · 08/01/2014 15:08

weelady well, generally, it's engage in discussion or find a chat thread. You started off rather strongly when you entered the thread with the Katie Hopkins comparisons, and then you did the internet equivalent of trying to have a picnic on the M25 when people responded.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/01/2014 15:09

Heartbroken I direct you to my earlier post - I have witnessed the use of 'should of' and it was not should've but two separate words clearly and wrongly used in public by a teacher.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 08/01/2014 15:11

bugger I have just been nit picky - didn't mean it!

Proudmummytodc2 · 08/01/2014 15:12

Totally agree op! I've name changed just to get some peace from a post I posted was my first post and I was practically tore a new one because I hadn't read many posts ect and I posted a link about something and they started shouting at me about what I was going to do about it I'm not the bloody government I simply only asked for opinions not to be shouted at for what the government said and u get a lot of people just ruining done peoples fun some posters having a laugh and u get the ones that come on and complain and report them if u don't like the post don't comment

I hate that u think you could offer some good advice but are apprehensive about posting because your feeling in easy with what your going to be met with from other posters abuse or not got simply having your own opinion x

Weelady77 · 08/01/2014 15:13

Heartbrokenmum I gave you my reason but it wasn't good enough for you all!
But as someone said on that thread it is there right to be able to judge people! and the way I judged or compared you all to was KH

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 15:17

What's going on with this Katie Hopkins business?

TheBigJessie · 08/01/2014 15:20

Oh, it was an ear-piercing thread. Yes, one of those. Look, it was New Year's Eve, alright? Alright? Grin

Weelady77 · 08/01/2014 15:20

Thebigjessie there's a difference between having a discussion and being spoken typed to whatever very rudely!

I gave my opinion I gave my reason and then still asked why why why! There's probably things you do that I don't agree with but that's your choice your life if you asked I would give my opinion but I certainly would hope I wouldn't make you feel bad! But hey ho that's life I guess

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/01/2014 15:21

I'm being a little mischievous here... it's meant in fun, honestly. Grin

===========
Juno77 Wed 08-Jan-14 14:52:52

lying yes, perhaps.

I suppose I should just accept that some people are quote happy continuing on an ignorant path of repeated errors. Personally I would be mortified (and confused why no one had corrected me!) but I guess we are all different!

But then I would tell someone if they had someone stuck in their teeth, for example.

I have visions of you chewing me up and spitting me out there, Juno! Grin

... but yes, I too would let somebody know they have spinach in their teeth, had tucked their skirt into their knickers. That's good manners.

I'm still struggling with how to let male colleagues know that their zips are undone without sounding as if I've been gazing at their nether regions though... Confused

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 15:25

NYE, say no more. Say no more. Grin

Maryz · 08/01/2014 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBigJessie · 08/01/2014 15:33

weelady And that post epitomises the problem- the whole way through you said the fashionable words about understanding other's points of view, but fact is, you don't. And that mis-match was a tad riling.

Understanding other points of view means accepting that they don't feel the same as you. You think it's fine. We don't. If you dance up and down in front of someone in a discussion chanting what boiled down to "well I did something you find morally repugnant, lol" gets responses. You thought those responses were very rude. Given the depth of disagreement, you got off lightly. You were disagreed with and people asked you to justify your viewpoint. I've re-read the thread, and frankly I am astounded at how well it went compared to it's thousands of predecessors.

As I've said before, if I copied and pasted your posts that night onto various other forums, my computer might catch fire!

Heartbrokenmum73 · 08/01/2014 15:50

weelady - I'd like to know what you justify as 'rude' because you seem to think that someone having a different opinion as you is 'rude' but that it's ok to call other people KH-like. Are you not seeing the strangeness of that?

And as TheBigJessie (who is much better at this than me) points out:

If you dance up and down in front of someone in a discussion chanting what boiled down to "well I did something you find morally repugnant, lol" gets responses.

That's exactly what you were doing. Not trying to formulate any kind of argument, not engaging in a debate, just saying 'well, I do this, lol'. It comes across as quite childish - and you kept doing it, so of course people were going to try to engage you.

Stop saying people were rude to you. Agree with TheBigJessie that you got off very lightly (especially given your 'lol lol lol' attitude) when compared to other threads on the same subject.