to not buy for sisters new partner's child ?

[SeptemberFlowers]

My sister has been in a relationship for about a 18 months we aren't close as a rule. She will sometimes send a text to say hello and bit of chit chat every 4 months or so, I do as well. She has never once sent a birthday card or asked after the DC's.

Until last year.

We hadn't seen each other for a year or more but she asked if we met up for Christmas, so we did. She mentioned she had brought some token gifts for DC's (we have never expected any anyway).

Rewind 12 months and I met her boyfriend and his daughter. This has been the only time I met his daughter.

Fast forward to now and we meet up at Christmas, she brings the boyfriend. She gives the DC's their gift and say thank you. Her boyfriend looks at me a bit expectantly and I'm a bit confused by it (no gifts for adults usually) she is giving me equally expectant looks. I ask what for and was told "Nothing."

On the way home (met up at a pub) I get the following text.

"Both C and myself are quite disappointed you never brought a present for B (C's daughter) for Christmas, this comes across as a bit one sided and selfish to us both and I can only hope that you will think of your neice on Christmas day without a present from you and your family and feel shame."

I replied back "Are you serious ?!"

She hasn't replied since.

I hadn't even thought about it as I have only met the girl once and my sister doesn't even send presents or acknowledge her own neices and nephews !

DH thinks I should tell her do one

Then he's achieved his aim

Watch out OP's sister! If you find he is finding fault with anything and everything that is close and dear to you, that is; so that you break off with said support network.

Hum, yes I think I agree with springysofa - he has achieved alienation between you. I know it's not exactly or entirely your fault, but your sister could be a bigger loser here than you know. I do hope not though.

And the thing about dirty laundry is - if you don't have any, there's none to air, so the best option is to make sure you DON'T create asinine situations like this with your sister, OP's sister (if you're still reading).

Oh no, no contact? Shit sticks.

Sis- wise up!

I doubt OP's sister has the time to read this thread as she is surely busy handing out gifts at the orphanage..

I lol'd iRL

winces

OP I would report your post and get rid of the name, Identifiying details.

Agree with yourusername123456789. Personally it probably wouldnt even occur to me to get a child a gift if Id only met them once. I probably wouldnt remember. If the child was in front of me I know Id have run upstairs and wrapped a tub of sweets up quickly, as its an "immediate" situation. Apart from that "shrugs" it'd be just one of those things. Id never text anyone in annoyance that they didnt get my DCs a present..its a bit naff. Why have expectations, are gifts tit for tat?!

I can't believe anyone would fall out with their sister over 2 crappy tubes of Smarties

She's clearly as tight as the ducks proverbial. All the texts sound so weird. I bet the bf is writing them.

Oh she did read it?

What did she say about it?

I'm sure (I hope for you) that she'll come crawling back once she's finished with the controlling arse.

I would have bought a small gift for his DD. I have a 4 year old DS from a previous relationship and I would of been a bit upset if he wasn't treated the same as my youngest son just because they don't share the same DNA. It helps him to feel accepted by my partners extended family, mind you we have been together 4 years though.

Please read the thread.

ItsSoooFluffy But they're siblings! And I presume you're living with your dp. So it's a different situation.
But would you have written a text/email like the OP's dsis has? Or just sucked it up and been privately and quietly hurt?

I really wish people would RTFT.

READ THE FUCKING BASTARDING THREAAAAAADDDDDD

Sorry if I have missed something I didn't read the whole thread just the first couple of responses

It's a good read fluffy, worth it.

I will post Smarties from New Zealand if that would help? It appears to be vitally important to man child.

Honestly though, expecting presents is very bad form. My 6 year old knows better.

So sorry September. It is hard to be the bad guy when you have done fuck all wrong.

.

Given that you have had very little to do with the child I do not think YABU. She is being bonkers.

Are you rocking in a corner, now Walt?

What do your parents (and any other sibs) think of this if they know? I presume if you were expected to buy a present for her boyfriend's child other family members would have had the same unrealistic expectations, or did she single you out and have business as usual with everyone else.

Oh dear. What a cow your sister is.

The only email you should send her boyfriend is:

Dear Nigel,
I am sorry for not giving your daughter a tub of smarties for Christmas. I did not realize this was expected of me, neither that I was supposed to regard your daughter my niece and give her presents befitting a niece, let alone a "niece" I have met only once and was not even present at the "gift exchange". You see, in all the years I have had children, your girlfriend, my children's aunt to be specific has never bothered with presents for her nieces, my children. I did not realize that her having a new boyfriend with kids meant that we were now in present swapping territory. Now that the rules have been set, I am all for exchanging token presents of smarties and haribos.

Much Love

Flowers"