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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not buy for sisters new partner's child ?

558 replies

SeptemberFlowers · 06/01/2014 13:48

My sister has been in a relationship for about a 18 months we aren't close as a rule. She will sometimes send a text to say hello and bit of chit chat every 4 months or so, I do as well. She has never once sent a birthday card or asked after the DC's.

Until last year.

We hadn't seen each other for a year or more but she asked if we met up for Christmas, so we did. She mentioned she had brought some token gifts for DC's (we have never expected any anyway).

Rewind 12 months and I met her boyfriend and his daughter. This has been the only time I met his daughter.

Fast forward to now and we meet up at Christmas, she brings the boyfriend. She gives the DC's their gift and say thank you. Her boyfriend looks at me a bit expectantly and I'm a bit confused by it (no gifts for adults usually) she is giving me equally expectant looks. I ask what for and was told "Nothing."

On the way home (met up at a pub) I get the following text.

"Both C and myself are quite disappointed you never brought a present for B (C's daughter) for Christmas, this comes across as a bit one sided and selfish to us both and I can only hope that you will think of your neice on Christmas day without a present from you and your family and feel shame."

Shock

I replied back "Are you serious ?!"

She hasn't replied since.

I hadn't even thought about it as I have only met the girl once and my sister doesn't even send presents or acknowledge her own neices and nephews !

DH thinks I should tell her do one Hmm

OP posts:
notthefirstagainstthewall · 08/01/2014 18:59

No! You so have to meet up with your sister, BF and "niece"!!!

You should apologise profusely with " so sorry, i had no idea your gifts were from you all as a family (manic beam to boyfriend)".
Hand over chocolates to "niece"and invite her to the family birthday tea for DD.

Finish with "well,if she's officially my niece now,you'll have to tell me the wedding date now(big smile, cheeky wink).
Please.

SauceForTheGander · 08/01/2014 19:53

Red flags .... He's creating an argument. Twat head.

waltermittymissus · 08/01/2014 20:02

Delighted september

You go girl! Wink

foreverondiet · 08/01/2014 21:27

I think if you seeing a child over Christmas, esp if they buying your ids something it would be polite to buy a present. Your sister is a bit unreasonable to fall out over it, but you are unreasonable not to see why she is upset.

magoria · 08/01/2014 21:29

What if you are not seeing that child over Christmas like the OP?

clam · 08/01/2014 21:31

forever Read. The. Thread.

For the zillionth time, she did not see the child. She met her once, about a year ago, I believe.

waltermittymissus · 08/01/2014 21:39

FFS!!!!

Iwannalaylikethisforever · 08/01/2014 22:13

I have not read all the many many pages of this thread, so don't know the whole story.
However I wanted to say that I definitely do not think you should have to give a gift in these circumstances.
If you were close to your sister, it would have been nice, but I think people have been abit unfair on you.

SeptemberFlowers · 08/01/2014 22:21

More melodramtic texts now saying 'I'm a disappointing family member and my behaviour makes her sad."

Get fucked. Angry

Have emailed a link to this thread to both of them.

OP posts:
PinkandGreenStripes · 08/01/2014 22:23

I bet he's writing the texts!

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 08/01/2014 22:25
Shock
Alisvolatpropiis · 08/01/2014 22:30

That's fucking ridiculous behaviour on your sisters part. She needs to get a grip and hold tightly, the selfish mare.

waltermittymissus · 08/01/2014 22:31

Roar at you emailing the link to them Grin

Dear DSis,

Seriously? You expect a present for a stranger child in exchange for a tube of smarties and NO PRESENTS FOR 10 YEARS??? Get. Fucked.

Dear Twat Features,

You sound like a controlling arse. Get yourself some smarties and chill the fuck out. Weirdo.

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 22:32

Have you really sent them a link?

How funny.

ColdTeaAgain · 08/01/2014 22:36

I'd put money on it that she's showing him your texts and he's telling her what to say back.

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 08/01/2014 22:38

Since you've emailed the thread I am going to de lurk and say:

OP your sister and her boyfriend are glue sniffers!!!!! Yes,that's YOU nutters! You Are Being Unreasonable.

SuffolkNWhat · 08/01/2014 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caitlin17 · 08/01/2014 22:39

Iwanna actually once we've picked up the girl wasn't there OP has almost unanimous support.

I feel sorry for the little girl. Her father is a twerp and she's getting a step mother foisted on her.

If sis and bf do read this , what sister gave wasn't a present, it was just a small amount of chocolate. Fine in its way but basically the confectionery equivalent of garage forecourt flowers.

IneedAsockamnesty · 08/01/2014 22:39

I'm really hoping you did send the link.

Sometimes people are so badly behaved with no understanding of how life works, your sister is one of these people

SauceForTheGander · 08/01/2014 22:44

If they join this thread is that MN first?

AlpacaPicnic · 08/01/2014 22:48

This is the thread that keeps on giving!

September - how old will your daughter be on her birthday? Is she old enough to be in on the joke? Could she do some great acting of looking all hopeful of a gift (that I think we all know will not be produced) and then crushed with disappointment?

Just saying... If you change your mind about meeting your sister - you could really have some fun with this

nilbyname · 08/01/2014 23:12

Oh my days your sister has totally lost the blimming plot!

Bonkers, just bonkers. I am in a similar head fuck situation with my grasping brother over Christmas presents and have decided to let it go.

Good for you op!

clam · 08/01/2014 23:13
Whatwouldmumdo · 08/01/2014 23:20

Dear OP's sister. Please join this thread

echt · 08/01/2014 23:24

Well done to send the link, OP.

The sister is a stellar example of those who take the most offence where they have been offending for years. Goose. Gander.