to have expected this woman to remove her tantruming child?

[musicboxwoundbyakey]

Went out for Sunday dinner with two friends. They were sat next to each other and I was sat opposite so my chair was in the middle (not sure if that's completely relevant but don't want to drip feed)

We were sat on a higher tier of the restaurant (3 steps). A woman with 2ish year old (could have been a little younger) walked up with a friend and her baby when her ds started to throw a huge tantrum and dropped to the floor right next to me.

As my chair was in the middle and not on the edge he really was right next to me screaming and crying and she left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up.

Now I was in a family friendly restaurant and don't care about children throwing tantrums or crying (it's expected) and with a tantrum its usually best ignored but I think in this situation she should have been quicker to pick him up and remove him from our table?

The woman was rude. She should have apologized and moved him away from you. If there was nowhere to take him then relocate outside. If she can't get some control over her child, then quit going to restaurants until she can.

Morgause it has been repeated throughout this thread that we don't actually know how long the good few minutes was. If said mum had gone to put her bags down for example before returning to deal with the tantrum then that's fine. Regardless of ones views on this I think its frankly fucking nasty to jump on a poster simply for daring to mention the A word.

''Quit going to restaurants until she can". This thread gets better. .

Yanbu, she should have moved her brat away from you or taken him outside.

Mine would have been removed pronto.
I find it very annoying when people do not leave with a screaming child. I agree anywhere open is fine as people can move away. A restaurant no, school play no
Selfish.

''Quit going to restaurants until she can". This thread gets better.

Yes, because letting your child scream by someones feet as they are trying to eat their meal is a great alternative isn't it. . But glad the thread is getting better for you.

Miaow we were in a well known chain yesterday not the Toby carvary we had to sit upstairs because DM was with us and she's in a wheelchair at the moment. Ds played up for ONE minute. I knelt down told him to not behave like that and that if he shortened down he can walk with me sensibly to the bar to pick his crayons up. I STILL got death stares off Judgey twats despite the fact that Ds was vocal for exactly 60seconds. We were a few feet away from another table when this happened and I dealt with it immediately as just said. I'm guessing this is the kind of more likely scenario that happened to the OP. To be fair though when a toddler or Baby in this case (she's 2 or under) is tantrumming a 'good few minutes' can seem like hours.

A tantrumming 2 year old is a standard 2 year old, not a brat.

Not a child Brian. The OP has clearly stated the kid was a baby. (2 or under).Her words not mine. It was a family restaurant why should she not be there?

Seriously. You're all calling a 2 year old a Brat?!!

The woman should have moved her child over to her own table and not left him next to OP.

Lots of children are taken to restaurants and are better behaved than some of the adult diners. We have always eaten out with our two (5 and 3) from birth and in some very nice restaurants on occasion. We have never had a full on tantrum from either of them, but if there is any unacceptable behaviour at all (messing around at the table, being loud, wanting to run around) they have been immediately removed. I can think of 2 occasions when this has been necessary and each time they were taken outside, spoken to and returned when their behaviour was acceptable.

ALL children are prone to tantrums and ours are no exception. You can't ban all children from restaurants on the basis of the possibility they may misbehave. However, it is the parent's responsibility to deal with any unacceptable behaviour which may disturb other people and do their disciplining out of earshot. If this means taking a child outside, then so be it.

I don't have any problem with children disturbing me as long as the parent is seen to be trying to do something about it. Sometimes it's not possible to placate a child or remove them (if you're on a moving train!) and in those cases I have every sympathy.

Misspixietrix I didn't mention the A word. You seem to be implying that I did.

I said the child should have been removed straight away. I still think that. I think it's unacceptable to leave a tantruming child in close proximity to a stranger trying to eat a meal for longer than a few seconds, let alone for "a good few minutes".

I would have removed my child straight away. Both of mine learned that if they played up anywhere we left straight away and they missed out. I only had to do it a couple of times with each.

I can't believe such a simple AIBU has made it to 9 pages!

It should be a couple of pages of resounding YANBU in sympathy with the OP who had to put up with someone else's poor parenting before it drops off the front page.

It's a no brainier. Of course no one should have to put up with someone else's tantruming toddler right next to their table when they are trying to have a meal.

There is absolutely no reasonable defence for making someone else put up with your child's tantrum while you sit back and ignore them. None at all. If you can't manage to keep your child away from other people tables, stay at home. It's that simple.

No I didn't mention or assume you said the A word. I was pointing out that that is what happened in the thread morgause.

Yanbu

Two year olds can be a royal pita at times. I recently had to remove my 2/12 year old from the local pub.

She weighed 2 1/2 stone, was kicking and screaming and I was 38 weeks pregnant but there was no way I was putting up with that behaviour and the other customers weren't going to be subjected to it either.

Thanks Misspixietrix as a close relative to an adult with autism I would never mention that word unless it was relevant.

Not a child Brian. The OP has clearly stated the kid was a baby. (2 or under).Her words not mine. It was a family restaurant why should she not be there?

A toddler, not a baby. A tantuming toddler. If the child is big enough to have a fit by someones feet in a restaurant, then they are not a baby. I didn't say the woman shouldn't be there. If you read my post properly you will see that I said if she can't control her child, or at least have the manners to move him away from other dinners who are trying to enjoy their meal, then she shouldn't be there. But if you don't understand this, then there is little hope for you. Hope this clears things up for you.

I give up-a few minutes in a child friendly restaurant were spoiled by a tantrum?and the majority of replies here have used pretty horrible language to describe the child and mother as though a child having a tantrum isn't a natural part of life? Victorian England beckons folks. I am sick to death of getting hard stares and the type of sanctimonious responses in restaurants and I can see from this thread that I really should give up trying to fit me and my SN child into society. He's 4 and tantrums like a two year old and doesn't look SN at first, judgemental glance.how fucking depressing to read these awful pages.

I wouldn't bother trying it with me. I'm quiet skilled to the whole passive comments on Mumsnet now. Water off a ducks back and all that. If you can't understand that the mother by the sounds of it. Did move her child just not straight away which was wrong yes. Then there's little hope for you neither. HTH.

The problem isn't young children having tantrums.

The problem is ineffectual parents who think it's acceptable to let their child tantrum at someone else's dining table.

There is a big difference.

Thankyou andanotherthing if people want to know why its made it to 9 pages then they only have to scroll down so far.

Woowoo the difference will be in how long the kid was tantrumming for. As other PPs have stated. Most tantrumming babies/toddlers have the strength of a super human when in mid flow. If mum had gone to put bags down before dealing with tantrum. Then OP is being U. If she hadn't then no of course the OP is NBU. The reason people got so irate last night is because of the bitchy comments that were coming from a certain direction.

My 4 yr old tantrums like a two year old as well andanother. But there is no way I would leave him by someone elses chair doing that, as the person is eating, while I went and sat myself down. Would you really do that? Its not really about the child tbh. If I see a child having a meltdown in a restaurant and the parent trying to do something about it, then I don't really have a problem. In fact, I can even extend some sympathy. But if someone leaving their child to tantrum right next to me while they go sit away from it all? Really? That is not ok.

Putting bags down takes seconds, although I can't why anyone would be wandering round a restaurant with bags that they need to put down while they are supposed to be having a meal.

It clearly says in the OP that the parent went to sit down before retrieving her child. That is not acceptable.