to have expected this woman to remove her tantruming child?

[musicboxwoundbyakey]

Went out for Sunday dinner with two friends. They were sat next to each other and I was sat opposite so my chair was in the middle (not sure if that's completely relevant but don't want to drip feed)

We were sat on a higher tier of the restaurant (3 steps). A woman with 2ish year old (could have been a little younger) walked up with a friend and her baby when her ds started to throw a huge tantrum and dropped to the floor right next to me.

As my chair was in the middle and not on the edge he really was right next to me screaming and crying and she left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up.

Now I was in a family friendly restaurant and don't care about children throwing tantrums or crying (it's expected) and with a tantrum its usually best ignored but I think in this situation she should have been quicker to pick him up and remove him from our table?

Your post 08.27 isn't making a lot of sense misspixie, I think you have missed some words out. But never mind. I don't suppose it matters.

OP said the woman "left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up. "

to me that suggests a deliberate "leave them to it" action.

I agree with Woowoo... it is not nice acceptable to leave your child to scream next to other people, whilst you go off and sit down somewhere else (even if it is within view).

Of course children tantrum, but it's not reasonable to expect other people to put up with it. I would physically remove my tantrumming 2yo until she'd stopped and I'd expect anyone else to do the same.

how long did she leave him? Did she apologise?

if you cant manage to keep your child away from other peoples tables, stay at home it's that simple

This x100.

I've had pretty good results calming down tantruming children belonging to other humans . Even the ones who are really going for it.

They often DO respond better to a stranger than their own parents because of 1)total amazement 2)the stranger is not the focus.

I was very grateful to the people who helped distract my children out of a meltdown when they were small.

So if I think it appropriate I try to help too.

Good for you mignonette personally, i have no desire whatsoever to calm other peoples children down. That is their job as parents!
If they are not able to parent properly, then they should stay at home and not inflict their brats on the rest of us!

Call it altruistic egoism then. Win win for both of us.

But if I see a parent carrying a buggy, a basket full of food and her two year old starts having a meltdown because they are tired/hungry/hot because shops are heated to tropical temperatures then it is not because they are bad parents.

I do think however that there are some adults who should stay at home and not inflict their ill tempers on the rest of us.

Morning everyone,

Thank you to everyone who brought this thread to our attention.

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Shops heated to tropical tempratures, children crying because they are hungry, good god, what excuses will you proffer next.
Just to make it clear, i really dont care what the cause is. it is not my concern in the slightest.
My concern, as is the vast majority of people who go to a restaurant to eat, is the expectation that i will be able to enjoy my meal without having other peoples badly behaved children inflicted on me.
Hope that's as clear as clear can be..

I only got as far as "I don't let my child tantrum" before being overcome by hysterics

How does that one work then?

FWIW I tend to have sympathy for people with tantruming toddlers and would have tried distracting him by making funny faces, it normally works.

Not excuses. Reasons.

Hope that is clear.

I am not defending poor parenting.

BTW I get more pissed off with loud drunken overbearing, badly mannered adults behaving like arses in restaurants than I do with a child.

Reason? It's a bit harder to pop one of them under your arm and carry them out.

Hope your behaviour is exemplary in public. Because from here it makes you sound like a fucking thug tbh.

Also adults who can't control themselves to not trip a kid up deliberately should stay at home too IMO.

Oh get over yourself op. I take it you have no children of your own?

Oh, oh, look, a deliberately controversial poster, how highly original!

You are free to call me whatever you like. I dont care a jot. Lots of people feel the same. Just look at this thread, and plenty more like it which express the same sentiments.

If your dd/any child struggles with not running up & down on trains because of her autism/any SN, then I'd be quite a bit more understanding, but 'suck it up' as an attitude isn't going to persuade me.

My problem with this is that YOU DON'T KNOW that my child has disabilities. Why? Because you don't know my child. And I am under no obligation to tell you his medical history, because it's none of your business. I shouldn't have to explain to all and sundry when we're out and about that he has disabilities. To be fair, it's generally pretty obvious, especially when he is in his wheelchair, however, some people seem to think that means he is incapable of understanding the insulting comments they throw our way.

But perhaps it might be better to do the adult thing and simply give them the benefit of the doubt that the child MIGHT have a disability or SN and therefore be more understanding anyway. Rather than be judgey and narrow minded. Or expect the parent to bob a curtsey and beg forgiveness for taking their disabled child out in public where they might disturb the "normals." (and yes, I've had that comment levelled at us thank you very much)

No excuse for leaving a child screaming next to a stranger, and going off to sit down.

''she left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up.''

At the very very least the mother should have apologised to the OP, and explained why she wasn't moving the child immediately.

Really i do think many folk underestimate how much of an annoyance their kids are sometimes. Weather or not you believe the onus is on others to complain/not complain/help/not help/ignore/not ignore - whatever - personally i just hate the thought of allowing, by inaction, my child to be spoiling someone elses time and have them look unfavorably at my child. Kids need help to behave appropriately. It's my responsibility to not let them be a pain in the arse.

kids need to behave approriately. It's my responsibility to not let them be a pain in the arse

Spot on.

And that last comment is the most telling of all about your motives for being on this thread.

Transparent.

I have 3 DC who tantrum earlier than normal and stopped much later - and I'd be bloody annoyed if another parent did this to me.

We had to eat out with DC at young ages and we were always aware of other dinners - distraction and removal were tools we employed - not always easy when it was one adult to 3 DC but it was done.

I do have sympathy for people dealing with tantrums - a lot actually- especially if I thought for a second the DC has any kind of SEN issue- but I'd expect parents to try and minimized the impact or least be very close and obviously dealing with DC - even if that just keep them safe not to sit down away from them and ignore them in I can't be bothered way.

In this case a sorry - I'll put bags down and then deal with DC would have done - but expecting other to put up with a DC behavior - just no.

We've walked into places and been made to feel unwelcome and had muttering when people have seen us with three young DC - then had same people come over and compliment us on how well behaved our DC were/are. This has always bemused us - I can only assume the behavior in OP is very common.

a few minutes of crying ruined ur meal? u must get out more

Indeed Mignonette