to have expected this woman to remove her tantruming child?

[musicboxwoundbyakey]

Went out for Sunday dinner with two friends. They were sat next to each other and I was sat opposite so my chair was in the middle (not sure if that's completely relevant but don't want to drip feed)

We were sat on a higher tier of the restaurant (3 steps). A woman with 2ish year old (could have been a little younger) walked up with a friend and her baby when her ds started to throw a huge tantrum and dropped to the floor right next to me.

As my chair was in the middle and not on the edge he really was right next to me screaming and crying and she left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up.

Now I was in a family friendly restaurant and don't care about children throwing tantrums or crying (it's expected) and with a tantrum its usually best ignored but I think in this situation she should have been quicker to pick him up and remove him from our table?

I had one ds who had tantrums.
I would move him if we were in a restaurant and carry him to the seat. If he decided to continue I'd laugh at him. He soon stopped that behaviour

Oh yes dungarees are fab for picking up a tantrumming toddler! I hav done that many times.

You don't let your child tantrum in a restaurant. I don't see how anyone can try to argue any different tbh.

I have carried DS kicking and screaming out to the car on more than one occasion!

Am I missing something? Please, please tell me this isn't a genuine thread?

Compassion and understanding is free

Well if he was just tantruming in the restaurant I'd have thought to myself how annoying but I would never had said anything.

But because he was right next to me, as in I wouldn't have had to stretch to touch him and from my position in the middle of the table, it's not like he was at the edge of our table either. Perhaps the mum could have showed some compassion that people shouldn't have to put up with that.

Am I missing something? Please, please tell me this isn't a genuine thread?

stealth new fangled 'safety' dungarees just popped open and dropped child!!

I agree, I would always remove dc, had to put me stuff down first though in order to have full control. Just saying that May have been why.

If she'd moved away to deposit bag etc at her own table, thereby leaving both hands free to wrangle her demonspawn offspring, & then moved him promptly, apologising to you as she went, then fair do's - we've all been there!

Going to sit down before returning 'a good few minutes' later, nope, not on.

I would have been briefly tempted to scoop him up myself & plonk him on her table ('excuse me, is this yours?') - all three of my dc would have been shocked into silence at that age by being picked up by a strange lady....

You'd be moaning even more if she'd lifted him up and he'd lashed out and kicked you in the face or something

Even if that had happened and she hadn't apologised I would probably still be told YABU from some on here.

why the face? Glass of ice cold water in the face, laugh at him, under 12's not being allowed in restaurants, really!

"Let your child tantrum" ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha. -wets self-

Glass of ice cold water in the face, laugh at him, under 12's not being allowed in restaurants, really!

Did I say that? No. So why question if the thread is genuine?

YANBU, I have always removed my dcs from restaurants, cafes etc if they were screaming/having a tantrum - no way would I expect anyone else have to listen to that unpleasant noise but unfortunately others aren't always as considerate.

I didn't say you said that!

I was quoting comments on the thread that made me think it couldn't possibly be serious!

Oh god, my toddler is a lovely, lovely boy but he does have humdinger tantrums. I would remove him if this happened in a restaurant but it's horrible to think that people do believe him to be a "little brat", or feel that we shouldn't really take him out to eat as he sometimes does this. We do our best but, you know, he's two. He hasn't got the words or the reasoning yet

Let's say you were at your meal for an hour. The tantrumming child was beside you (Not on your knee, or on the table in front of you). Had a tantrum for a 'fair a few minutes'. So say, 5? That's fair.

It ruined your meal? Really? 8% of your time?

Why is someone who wants children banned from restaurants and pubs on mumsnet?

Also Whistle, classy.

What an aggressive and unsympathetic thread.

5 mins of listening to a child scream is absolutely horrible, why would you not just move them to a place where only you had to listen to it, why subject everyone else to the hideous noise? It would ruin my meal, I'd be so pissed off and annoyed with the parents for being so rude.

South - I doubt most people would judge at all someone dealing with the tantrum. The issue comes when people don't show some consideration for other diners and make efforts to calm/remove the child.

I'm really apalled by the 'ice cold water in the face' post. That's horrendous.

Oh thank god bugster I thought I was going mad for a minute!

Love that some people don't let their toddlers have tantrums. I would have taken my two year old out immediately, but children throw wobblies and they scream and cry over totally unreasonable things. That's sort of their thing. What with them learning everything for the first time. It was a family friendly restaurant? So YABU. There will be families there, with children, and sometimes children throw tantrums. Perhaps you could have asked if she was going to move her child as you were worried about spilling something on him, or even honestly said that the noise was disturbing you?

South - wouldn't judge you at all, especially if you removed him to a safe distance for the duration - I would have nothing but sympathy/empathy. Tantrums happen. That doesn't make it OK to leave your tantruming DC right next to someone else trying to eat, without comment or apology.