to have expected this woman to remove her tantruming child?

[musicboxwoundbyakey]

Went out for Sunday dinner with two friends. They were sat next to each other and I was sat opposite so my chair was in the middle (not sure if that's completely relevant but don't want to drip feed)

We were sat on a higher tier of the restaurant (3 steps). A woman with 2ish year old (could have been a little younger) walked up with a friend and her baby when her ds started to throw a huge tantrum and dropped to the floor right next to me.

As my chair was in the middle and not on the edge he really was right next to me screaming and crying and she left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up.

Now I was in a family friendly restaurant and don't care about children throwing tantrums or crying (it's expected) and with a tantrum its usually best ignored but I think in this situation she should have been quicker to pick him up and remove him from our table?

Having commuted by train for 4years I'm well aware of what can be disruptive on a Train thankyou. Still wouldn't trip anyone up over it though.

Me neither. Shocking behaviour. I'd just tut a bit, probably.

Caitlin why did it annoy you SO much that I pulled someone up on referring to a child as it, you just can't let it go can you? That's a bit odd!

I'd have been extremely supportive of you if you'd called her out on the use of "fucking kid" (which actually is really offensive and never justified ever) than the grammatically correct use of "it"

To be honest the fact you had no objection to such an aggressive and unwarranted expression but chose it to make a minor and irrelevant point did not make me warm to you.

YANBU. When DS went through a phase of behaving terribly in restaurants due to over stimulation (at around 2, in fact) we stopped going to them for a few months, because I didn't see the point in spending the money when I have a policy of removing a tantrumming child from the premises until they calm down. Other people are spending good money to enjoy a nice meal and my kid shouldn't ruin it for them. And I'm someone who happily took him out from infancy and does again now - it was a really brief window we couldn't. We expect good behaviour out and about and he knows it and complies, or there are sanctions. It's never too young to model and expect them to show concern for other people, IMO.

I would have told her to come deal with her fucking kid, told her that she should take it out like a normal person would and if that didn't make her move her lazy arse, complain to management with expectation of a refund.

Nice language, nice referring to a child as "it"! covers both I'll think you'll find!

Has the op clarified just how many minutes is a few?

or should I have said "nice language" and "nice referring to a child as "it" which is clearly what I meant!

A lot of people find it offensive to call a child 'it'. It may be grammatically correct, but it does present the child as a thing and there are alternatives. And it's just not feasible on this thread to go into detail on all the horrifying, upsetting comments and suggestions that have been made. I'm sure thorn found the phrase 'fucking kid' as unacceptable as you do ( rightly).

sock no. Funnily enough she hasn't been back. thornrose stop trying to explain yourself it really is not needed :)

Oh look, you did! Sorry X post.

Caitlin I find it hard to believe you would ever have been extremely supportive of me on a "technicality of language" you attacked me from the outset. It's fine I don't warm to you either.

Having read the whole thread though, I can safely say I'd rather have a room full of tantrumming kids than endure the company of certain adults. Christ on a bike - some parents certainly don't apear to have modelled concern for others a good few decades ago, did they? Throwing liquids on children? Deliberately tripping them? God.

Precisely perfectstorm. Think I know which ones I'd least trust in a pub!

I'll wake up in the morning (after staying up far too late defending myself) and this will all have been a nightmare!

I've reported my last few posts. Sorry the phone has a life of its own. Thorn no sadly it isn't. I know its easier said than done but try not to take to to heart too much.

YANBU, I would have moved him if he was doing it right next to you. Run for the hills if you see him again OP

The OP wasn't complaining about the tantrum per se but about the mother doing nothing about the discomfort caused to her by it not being dealt with.

The mother was being VU in not removing the child from OP's immediate vicinity straight away.

yabu. If the child had been moved he/she would just have been next to someone else.

Tbh I can copecwith tantrumming my worst restaurant experience was a child vomming next to my table just as I started my main course . Now that ruined my meal.