to have expected this woman to remove her tantruming child?

[musicboxwoundbyakey]

Went out for Sunday dinner with two friends. They were sat next to each other and I was sat opposite so my chair was in the middle (not sure if that's completely relevant but don't want to drip feed)

We were sat on a higher tier of the restaurant (3 steps). A woman with 2ish year old (could have been a little younger) walked up with a friend and her baby when her ds started to throw a huge tantrum and dropped to the floor right next to me.

As my chair was in the middle and not on the edge he really was right next to me screaming and crying and she left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up.

Now I was in a family friendly restaurant and don't care about children throwing tantrums or crying (it's expected) and with a tantrum its usually best ignored but I think in this situation she should have been quicker to pick him up and remove him from our table?

Family friendly doesn't mean that bad behaviour is acceptable though (in this case bad behaviour from the parents) I hate this idea that because somewhere is family friendly children can do what they please!

Where should she remove the child to? Outside? Where the child could wriggle away and get hit by a car, or they both get soaking wet in the rain etc. I have carried my toddler out of a fair few places like a roll of very angry carpet but sometimes the safest place for them to have their tantrum is not the most convenient for everyone else.

But Hop Along I would assume that my screaming child, at someone else's feet, was disturbing them. It'd bloody disturb me!

So I'd shift the little blighter.

Where should she remove the child to? Outside? Where the child could wriggle away and get hit by a car, or they both get soaking wet in the rain etc.

Bit extreme but ok. When I say remove I don't mean outside, I mean away from right next to me, screaming and shouting.

Where to? I'm not saying she was right ot leave her toddler next to the table, but even if she moved him to her table (next to them) the screaming is still going to be disturbing.

For what it's worth, I don't think the parent should just have been doing nothing. But why get so cross/annoyed with it while sitting there and saying nothing. It's pointless. Sure the parent should have clocked that their child was hurting people's eardrums, but since they either didn't, or didn't care, why stay silent?

I took my 2year old ds out to family friendly pub yday. I was meeting friends who don't yet have kids. Wouldn't be my first choice of location but it was convenient place to meet. So they were late which meant meal took longer than hoped. They ordered more drinks after we ate too. I'd taken lots to do and ds generally v good boy but he got tired and crabby.

No tantrums as such but he started shouting a few times, so I asked him to be quiet and apologized to other diners. Same when he did sudden unexpected dart across floor. We also thanked staff few times as they were v kind in helping keep him happy with crayons etc.

I don't get it. My child, my responsibility. I show manners, I get some understanding. Everyone happy. Parent in op case was rude.

Maybe op would've cut her some slack had she had good grace to even acknowledge situation! If ds had escalated I would've gone outside with him to calm him down and then gone home asap.

Wow sorry long post. I type quick and don't realise!

YANBU.

It would have ruined my meal and the rest of the night because I suffer from Ménière's disease. High pitched screaming would have hurt my ears and set off tinnitus and dizziness.

Just because a restaurant is child friendly doesn't mean that it is acceptable for children to be badly behaved, or for parents to not consider other diners.

I once accidentily tripped up an overbearing little brat on the train, who's mother was allowing him to run up and down the aisle as i (and many other passengers) were trying to work.

A screaming child should be taken from the restaurant dining area, whether it's outside, toilet or foyer.

I've come to see if you were in the Bristol Ikea at lunchtime today.

YOWSER to the little girl's tantrum in there.

People were picking up their trays and moving to get away.

It went on and on and on.

Was very impressive!

You were on a train "working" it's not your office so suck it up!

DD used to have terrible tantrums. I don't think we took her to a 'proper' restaurant (ie McDonald's doesn’t count) till she could reliably sit quietly for the duration. I can't remember exactly but I am guessing she would have been about 8 before we could take her anywhere!
I would have been far too embarrassed to have just let her scream right next to where someone was sitting.

Blimey. You're absolutely right. It's not an office, it's an adventure playground.

"suck it up"?!

"suck it up" is for DC loudly observing the world or playing at a table/in a seat - not for those running up and down a train, a plane, or a restaurant.

thornrose i didn't suck it up though did i

As in accidentally on purpose whistleblower? I really hope not.

Well unless you were in the quiet carriage, it's tough bloody shit. No more unreasonable than people talking on the phone, drinking, listening to music, rustling massive papers, drama-sneezing, farting, or any other behaviour your fellow passengers are doing. If you want to do work without distractions, book the quiet carriage.

How does a child running up and down a train aisle stop you from working though? And how do you accidentally trip over them if you're in your seat "working"?

Running up & down the aisle probably trumps (as it were) farting & paper-rustling in terms of annoyance, though.

I categorically wouldn't permit my dc to do it in any carriage, quiet or not.

Can I just add that although I can see your point. It is really inconvenient and annoying to have a child tantrum whilst you are eating but you don't know the child/parents situation.
My ds is autistic and has behaved like this in public since he was a baby. Sensory overload. I don't really go anywhere in public to eat as I'm too paranoid that his issues disturb other people. Their comments can be really cruel.
The woman could have been at the end of her rope.
You could try and be a wee bit sympathetic. We've all been the person with the screaming child. Maybe she didn't have it in her to pick her child up at that very moment. I'm not getting on at you or giving you a lecture. I'm just showing an alternative.

Quiet carraige on an early morning commuter train. The brattish behaviour was something to behold.
I tripped him up when he ran past my seat for about te 5th time,- little fuckwith.

Parents should take their kids outside the restaurant and let them have their tantrum away from people who are paying to eat. Anything less is shit parenting and extremely obnoxious, anti social behaviour.

I would have told her to come deal with her fucking kid, told her that she should take it out like a normal person would and if that didn't make her move her lazy arse, complain to management with expectation of a refund.

I hate parents like this. My two year old has spectacular tantrums, I don't inflict them on diners when she starts because I'm not an inconsiderate, selfish bastard with no respect for others, as a civilised person, I remove her until she's calmed down. Every parent goes through tantrums, how you deal with them will make you welcome or an unwanted pest in public places.

I took my five on a five hour train journey last summer, my two year old walked up and down the carriage with me beside/behind her, it was that or have her scream her head off.

People were snoty that each of my kids had their own seat and I didnt make them squash up/sit on laps when it was busy, dam right I didnt when I had booked tickets in advance and paid extra so we could book our seats. I aske the person sat in our reserved seats to move, booked a table seat and one next to it, if I had to be on the train for five hours with five kids iw as going to amke the jourmey as comfortable as possible.

As it was they were all prety good, I was complimemted on their behaviour but no my two year old wpouldnt stays at down the entire time.

So from your last post, whistle, I take it you tripped kid up deliberately?

To quote my favourite mn saying, you sound nice!