to have expected this woman to remove her tantruming child?

[musicboxwoundbyakey]

Went out for Sunday dinner with two friends. They were sat next to each other and I was sat opposite so my chair was in the middle (not sure if that's completely relevant but don't want to drip feed)

We were sat on a higher tier of the restaurant (3 steps). A woman with 2ish year old (could have been a little younger) walked up with a friend and her baby when her ds started to throw a huge tantrum and dropped to the floor right next to me.

As my chair was in the middle and not on the edge he really was right next to me screaming and crying and she left him there for a good few minutes and went to sit down before picking him up.

Now I was in a family friendly restaurant and don't care about children throwing tantrums or crying (it's expected) and with a tantrum its usually best ignored but I think in this situation she should have been quicker to pick him up and remove him from our table?

and one thing mnet has taught me is you just dont know what is going on in that persons life, i guess maybe they could be a crap parent with a difficult child but i tend to assume they are trying to do their best like most of us. are maybe having a bad day or the child may have special needs or there may be other stuff going on in their lives and that judging them will do fuck all but trying to help or offering a kind word and a smile may just make their day a tiny bit better and it doesnt cost me anything.

Having fallen over myself while a bit a pissed in a moving train carriage, I know how narrow the aisles are and how hard everything you can can crash into on the way to the floor is.

To accidentally trip a child up in that environment is idiotic.

I don't believe this actually happened though, so I shan't worry about any further.

Caitlin. It really doesnt need spelling out does it? Throwing Ice cold water at a child. Deliberately tripping a child up. Yes she did say it. Not even going to comment on the 'how predictable' post on someone's autism comment. Not saying tantrumming child shouldn't be removed/calmed. But comments such as the above by certain posters are unnecessary. Also I think a lot of people have missed out the point that the kid looked about 2 or younger so hardly a five year old brat.

OK that's your view, I'm not looking for agreement, not in a million years.

I've been on MN for years and I guess I've got through it pretty much unscathed until now. I feel really sad that I've been so misunderstood and that no-one understands my point of view. It's fine, in my own words I'll suck it up.

YANBU, I would definitely expect the child to be removed.

The poster who chucked water in their child's face though - really? Did you honestly do that?

Probably TheMaw.

thornrose most do.

needaholidaynow

Not on this thread Miss I feel thoroughly defeated by the predictable comment re dd's autism, genuinely thought we'd moved on

Thornrose I responded to your assumption it is up to the person having to put up with the bad behaviour to speak up rather than the parent to recognise and deal with it.

I mentioned trip hazards as you clearly had no inkling why allowing children to run up and down a train carriage is not a good idea, aside from it being annoying to other passengers. You couldn't even comprehend it could be irritating or dangerous. If you can't see that for yourself then frankly I'd be wary of pointing it you, although I might mention it to the guard.

You come across as one of those parents who expect other people to make allowances for their children's behaviour and anyone who is irritated by bad behaviour is in the wrong.

thornrose I hate to say it but it doesn't bloody suprise as of late. Not all have moved on. Some are still stuck in circa 1920s. Which is weird considering o have a very middle class GM who doesnt have this attitude at all.

A bit of cold water never hurt anybody.

Thornrose - I agree with pretty much all you've said, though I do get wound up with kids' noise on trains. I do suck it up though. Anyone comparing that comment to deliberately tripping up a child or throwing water in a kid's face is bvu in my view. And I find some of the comments about autistic children really distasteful and unpleasant. I'm really sorry that you've had to read them, thorn.

Trip Hazards are no excuse for someone to deliberately stick her foot ou and trip a child up. Especially when someone was meant to be working. Just Saying.

So it wasn't ice cold then? Do it to everyone who pisses you off do you?

Oh Caitlin you are SO far off the mark. Where did I say it was up to the person putting up with it rather than the parent?

Why do you assume I can't comprehend that it is irritating or dangerous? I was responding to the poster who said it was stopping her from working and that alone.

I've read your posts and I have no idea who you are, how you parent or your knowledge of trip hazards but well done for judging me based on my reactions to inflammatory posts.

The way you think I come across is your affair, congratulations on getting it spectacularly wrong though.

nonmifairidere I honestly don't know what's worse, that you've 1) thrown water in your child's face or 2) that you're bragging about it on a parenting forum. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself*

*assuming that you're telling the truth, which I'm still struggling to believe.

needaholidaynow I can sadly believe it too. Think I would have slapped him one too..and that's just for wasting the Beer! .

actually, cold water does hurt, if the child has spd. or is walking home in the cold.

Thanks Adeleh

thornrose your words re the trains were "it wouldn't phase you" bully for you. You couldn't see any problems with it. Just because you aren't bothered no one else should be either?

As for the tripping up or throwing water, clearly wrong. I'd no more do that than the ridiculous suggestion it is appropriate to try to calm down someone else's child.