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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think a grown man should be able to buy sanitary towels?

276 replies

JingleJemJem · 05/01/2014 09:48

My DH won't buy them for me. So even though he does our weekly shop if I need any I have to go out and buy them separately. He says it's embarrassing looking 'in that aisle'.

Today I'm suffering with a heavy period and cramps and need more towels but I can't be bothered having the discussion with him to try and get him to buy me some as I know he won't, so I'm going to have to go out and get them myself.

Do other men behave this immaturely when it comes to 'women's things'? Or is it just mine? If there was a male equivalent I wouldn't think twice about buying it for him!

OP posts:

Wevet · 05/01/2014 11:28

You know - a propos of the other thread about tampons being 'on display' (ie. not hidden) in the bathroom, if the box was sitting about on an open shelf, perhaps these terribly forgetful men might remember which brand etc?

My son is one, and he toddled off in the supermarket while I was looking at toothbrushes and came back with the correct box of tampons. It might be coincidence, but he certainly likes playing with my tampons, and knows the word for them...

notso · 05/01/2014 11:29

forty when I worked in Wilkos I thought a man asked me for Lilets as he was very quiet, so I started walking to the aisle with and was asking about sizes light, medium, super etc on the way. He got redder and redder and kept mumbling all the way there only when we got there he looked relieved and whispered he said Durex not Lilets.

PresidentServalan · 05/01/2014 11:29

I have always bought my own, even in relationships. It's just something that you have to do. So YABU, if he isn't comfortable doing it, is it really that hard to make sure you have enough so you don't have to go out to stock up whilst you have your period?

QueenStromba · 05/01/2014 11:30

I use a mooncup but I just asked DP and he said he would buy me tampons if he had to.

I meant to put my mooncup in before going out to DP's work do a few weeks ago because I felt like I was about to come on so had to buy some emergency tampons on the way. It was a strangely laid out supermarked so I had to ask where they were. They shelf stacker I asked can't have been older than 18 and he didn't bat an eyelid.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 05/01/2014 11:32

PresidentServalan Good in theory but try having a child who chucks the whole packet in the bath.

TheAwfulDaughter · 05/01/2014 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

scarletforya · 05/01/2014 11:39

I've always bought my own as well. It's never come up in all the years I've needed them.

TheAwfulDaughter · 05/01/2014 11:40

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Jengnr · 05/01/2014 11:41

Where's the thread about them being on display? That sounds like my Mum - she hides them in cupboards. Balls to that, mine stay right where I need them, next to the bog.

She's well past periods herself and has been for years but she hides mine when I stay there - I think it's from my Dad :) My dad would never have bought anything like that.

My husband on the other hand happily would - I remember the last time one of these threads popped up and I asked him if he would and he said 'I have', I'd forgotten. :) I knew he'd bought me maternity pads but he didn't have much choice as I couldn't drive post c-section.

Amateurish · 05/01/2014 11:47

Have you tried being incredibly precise and specific about exactly what you need. Then he won't need to do any "browsing".

Kundry · 05/01/2014 11:48

DH would need clear instructions but would have no problem with this. Oddly we discussed this yesterday after reading the tampons on display thread - DH felt this was mental and we have moved on since the 1950s.

Women have periods. They just do. It's not embarrassing or dirty or disgusting or a mysterious thing only women should discuss in secret when the menz are all safely in the pub discussing man things.

Your DH needs to learn what century he is in.

PresidentServalan · 05/01/2014 11:49

Forty But if you didn't have a partner you would have to go out and get them yourself anyway.

MrsClauswearsspanx · 05/01/2014 11:52

Mine happily buys them for me if I need him to but a few times he's come back with the wrong thing (panty-liners instead of heavy duty ones) which makes me think he probably does a quick snatch and grab of the first thing he comes to.

Thants · 05/01/2014 11:54

No my partner doesn't think periods are shameful because he is not a misogynist. Ofc he should get you pads if you need them. Same as I'm sure you would pick him up something he needed. Don't bother helping him out anymore and find exactly what he thinks is so wrong about you being a woman.

Dubjackeen · 05/01/2014 11:57

There are so many variations, and brands, I can understand someone being confused, but too embarrassed (if that is the reason), I don't understand that.

MooMa1d · 05/01/2014 11:57

My OH doesn't care. He'll even ring me whilst stood in the aisle if my usuals aren't available, asking me what I want instead. Albeit in a slight whispery voice, but he'll do it

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 05/01/2014 11:59

But I do have a husband that will go out for me, I will not martyr myself to get SanPo.

We work as a partnership. If I'm out shopping and DH needs razors or he wants a few bottle of beer I will pick them up.

HenriettaMaria · 05/01/2014 12:01

But if you didn't have a partner you would have to go out and get them yourself anyway.

Yes, and...? If DH is shopping anyway - which he frequently does - why should I have to make it special trip just for sanitary towels?

My DH has never had a problem buying them and he has had his bus pass for 3 years, now; so it isn't a generational thing.

misskatamari · 05/01/2014 12:02

What does he think people are going to be thinking that he needs to be embarrassed about? "Oh look that man has sanitary products in his trolley...he must have a wife/daughter that needs them" not that anyone even bothers about what's in other peoples trolleys anyway!

WaitingForMe · 05/01/2014 12:03

President - I live in a crazy world where DH and I seek to make each other's lives easier. If he's already at the supermarket and can buy everything WE need, I'd be pretty fed up if I had to make an extra trip for no reason.

But more than that, I'd struggle to respect a man so easily challenged.

SauvignonBlanche · 05/01/2014 12:04

DH thought himself quite the new man when he bought me some with my FIL in tow.
I explained to DD when she started that her Dad could help if needed and he did an emergency shop run for her last week. DD tried to tell me that this was 'embarrassing' but I assured her that it was entirely normal.

DragonMamma · 05/01/2014 12:08

No problems with it here either. DH will quite happily nip out if I run out, he did it Christmas eve, driving.round a load of garages looking for them I didn't tell him that the hotel we were staying in had them in.the toilets when I discovered them later

Gossipmonster · 05/01/2014 12:15

I can totally understand the confusion.

I don't have periods as I have a Mirena (much to OHs relief as he does not cope well with these things although I am pretty sure he would buy me Tampons if I needed them).

I went to buy DD some the other day for her first period and my mind boggled at the sheer array of options available even I didn't know what to buy!!

D0oinMeCleanin · 05/01/2014 12:20

FFS, even my DH can manage this and he is a giant man child in all respects.

My poor Dad used to get embarrassed about this but with three grown up daughters who often don't see each other unless we are visiting the parents he now has no choice but to listen to moans about irregular periods after birth and leaking breasts, he even FB messaged me when my youngest sister was last home to request I buy tampax on the way to his house on behalf of my sister.

AWomansPlace · 05/01/2014 12:23

My DP happily went off to buy tampons for me yesterday, not embarrassed in the slightest. My Ddad used to buy them all the time too, he's almost 70 so not a generation thing.

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