To credit MN for the way I handled this rude woman at the shops?

[Primafacie]

... When I felt a bit hurt, humiliated and angry at her comments?

I had an encounter this morning which up till now I thought only ever happened on Mumsnet :)

I was food shopping (M&S, not that i think it's relevant but so I am not accused of dripfeeding) with my DCs (aged 2 and almost 5). I always park their scooters by the store entrance (on the inside), which itself leads to the inside of a shopping mall, and is guarded by a staff member. We (and the store) are in a very safe, family friendly area.

As I was heading for the tills, DD nearly 5 asked if she could wait for me by the scooters. I said yes, as she is very sensible, I was only going to be a few minutes, and in my own risk assessment, this is not a risky situation.

Two minutes later, I emerge from the queue with my shopping and DS in tow. A woman (I am guessing around 75, again not really relevant but don't want to DF) is talking to the security guard by the door, pointing to DD who is waiting by the scooters. She sees me and says 'is this your child?' Conversation then goes like this:

Me: 'Yes she is'.
Her: 'I really don't think it is advisable to leave your child here, anyone could have kidnapped her'.
Me: Rrright. Well, I disagree,and I think she is perfectly safe here.
Her: but you are wrong. Anyone could have taken her. This is really dangerous.
Me: Well, that's your view. I happen to think we live in a good society and I don't see abductors and paedos everywhere.
Her: but you are wrong, you see. She could have come to harm.
Me: so you have said, several times. Look, I disagree with you, and I am not interested in your views. I didn't ask for your opinion. When I was her age my mum used to send me to the shops on my own. Now please leave me and my kids alone.
Her: Happy new year.
Me: and happy new year to you. Now please can you stop following me?

All this without raising my voice, or stopping smiling :o

All the while she was trying to get the poor security guy roped in to tell me off - to his credit, he never opened his mouth.

Still feeling a bit offended, but meh - hardly the end of the world.

So, thanks MN. Can I get my shiny badge now?

There have been no more children kidnapped recently than there were 40 years ago, Sisterelephant. We just hear about it more because of the gutter press and their sick need to print all the details.

Children are still more at risk from people that they know than 'stranger danger', but we are still educating them in the wrong way.

I think it's something like 3% of abducted children are abducted by strangers.

Stop being so hysterical.

I'm afraid I am with the majority here. As an 'elderly lady' myself I would have been concerned to see such a young child left alone (not the security guards responsibility). Actually I probably wouldn't have left the scooters never mind the child...alone...in a busy shop...aged 5!!!

I am not at all surprised that many of you disagree with my assessment of the risk.

I do think this is a very mumsnetty story, and that I handled it in a very typically MN fashion. You know, 'no is a complete sentence' and all that. Again, not surprised at the overall level of disagreement. It would be pretty boring here if everyone always agreed.

What Heartbrokenmum said.

There has actually been significant decline in child abduction in recent years Sister.

Well done, OP.

From what i've seen of MN I think a mire usual response would be 'YABU, that moment was a snapshot of her life she could have had some teeerible news before you had a go back at her'

I wouldn't have let my 5 year old do that.

I think your desire to get validation from mn for berating a woman who was concerned for your child's welfare seems rather churlish.

She shouldn't have gone on about it, a simple "I was worried about her being alone" would have sufficed, but I agree with her about leaving a not-yet-5 yr old stand alone by a door in a shopping mall. I am not a peado round every corner person but that is outside what I would be comfortable doing.

You handled it calmly and politely.

Why are you proud of yourself for being rude to another person? Especially when that person was showing concern (even if you think wrongly placed concern) for you child?

It really was.

The search for validation was litererally making me cringe when I was reading it.

OP when you made the irresponsible decision to let your 4 year old wonder off, was your first thought "I'll post on MN! They'll LOVE me now!"
?

A Greggs sausage role, Mary?

Unfairly- what a ridiculous hysterical pile of crap

Im hysterical?

Another child has escaped the wrath of being left alone for 2 minutes?

Hell hath freezeth over!

Don't worry about it OP, when some people's kids blink and see daylight (at 18) on this forum, they will realise how ludicrous it is to helicopter children at all turns.

To be honest, whilst I wouldn't have phrased it in quite the same way, I had a similar reaction to Mary when reading the OP.

Heartbroken and Merry Christmas its very easy to be so blasé until it happens to you.

Even if it is just 3% but no one will really ever know why risk your child to be one of that %?

I agree that you handled the criticism very well but I'm afraid I agree with her. I don't see abductors and paedos everywhere either but a five year old child is too young to be left standing anywhere by themselves.

YABU the security guard could have been a paedo/murderer/zombie.

Makes you want to PUKE?

Really?

Then step away from the computer. It can be hard to clean.

"Whilst I wouldnt have phrased it the same way." That made me laugh, if I had a quid for every time someone in RL said that.

I really need to learn to curb. I try sometimes. And fail always.

Yes, when people make me cringe that much it makes much stomach feel weird.

You are a massive cringe-fest.

Didn't seem that she was rude, more concerned - as I would be seeing a child alone.

I appreciate ultimately that DD is your child so your decision, but agree with the posters that are questioning why you want validation and a badge?

The woman was ultimately concerned about your child, which is a good thing and not something she should be chastised for. It's a sign of a 'good society' to use your words, that people like that exist.

I wouldn't leave a 4 year old where I couldn't see them, and don't think you should be praised for this. If you are so confident of your decision anyway, you shouldn't need backslapping from MN.

I'm not sure how keeping an eye on a 4 year old is a social construct, but it is responsible parenting.