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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit freaked out by DPs behaviour..

290 replies

Meanderer · 29/12/2013 23:26

There's a cat that has been coming into our garden and even our house occasionally and frightening our two young cats. They are getting braver at hissing at him but he still dominates them and we think has sprayed scent on them. Today while I was out DP found this cat in the house so shut him in, chased him around shouting at him, then put him in a bath of cold water, all to frighten him off. He'd mentioned before that he was panning to do this and I asked him not to, because it seems really cruel and excessive and also I thought about how I'd feel if someone did that to one of ours..he's an aggressive cat yes but just doing what some cats do. My question really isn't whether he was unreasonable to do it, because I think he was and have told him so..but I'm feeling really uncomfortable that he could do this at all, even though he believes it was right to defend our young cats that way...I feel a bit creeped out by it. Am I being soft and should I be grateful on our cats behalf? I was hoping they'd just eventually be able to defend themselves.

OP posts:
LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 30/12/2013 10:56

You are deliberately avoiding the real outcome 'shitehawke'

The result of these actions is not a 'wet cat'

If you were locked in somewhere by someone and held down in a bath of cold water after being chased round inside and shouted at would you just be a bit miffed because you were wet? Or would you be a bit more traumatised than that?

usualsuspect · 30/12/2013 10:57

You think the majority on this thread are pathetic hand wringers?

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob · 30/12/2013 10:57

I do not think anybody has suggested he should be strung up, more that he was unreasonable to behave in such a cruel and unkind manner.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 30/12/2013 10:58

But how many minutes usual is it 7 cat minutes for each human minute?

WooWooOwl · 30/12/2013 11:01

Invest in another way to keep the cat out,

Why should anyone have to shell out their own money to keep other people's pets under control?

That's exactly the attitude that pisses people off about cat owners.

LiberalLibertine · 30/12/2013 11:04

shitehawke I said I'd string you up, then call the police if you did this or the 'worse' things you say you've done to cats, to my cat,what are they by the way? Since you're so sure of you're justified?

Joysmum · 30/12/2013 11:06

A dunking in a bath is far less hurtful than what a dominant cat will do to defend its own territory. It will hunt down and bully all other cats to gain respect and car fights are nasty and cause lasting damage.

Shitehawke · 30/12/2013 11:06

So what if its unkind? Its not my job to love and cherish your cat. It is my job to scare the fuckers so badly they never set foot in my house again. I really dont care if I traumatized your poor puss, I dont care if I hurt its feelings, I dont care if you think its weird. Its my right to do it, and I will continue as long as cats come in my home.

kali110 · 30/12/2013 11:10

Think thats awful. I have strays coming into my house, usually 2 of mine scare them off but i do get pissed when they have scraps. Id never dream of doing what your dp did though and im very protective of my pets.

rabbitlady · 30/12/2013 11:12

he's thinking of it from the cat's point of view. what would i [cat] remember and avoid?
is your dp aspie?

Killinascullion · 30/12/2013 11:15

A few years ago, after finding next doors cat in the utility room eating our cats food (again!), I threw a blanket over him, scooped him up and chucked him in the pond. The pond isn't deep.

He got out sharpish and although he still roams in the garden and drinks out of the pond, he hasn't come back into the house since then.

I didn't dislike the cat at all but he used to spray when he was in the house and eat my cats food so something had to be done to deter him.

A friend used to spray water at another interloper in her house. I think that works well but is more messy.

kali110 · 30/12/2013 11:15

Also one of my cats is very anxious, hes had several break downs. Hes always being bullied by others cats, i still wouldnt do what the op's dp did.

Shitehawke · 30/12/2013 11:19

Liberal, do you honestly, truly think the police will give a fuck about a cat with hurt feelings!? So far you have threatened to hang me, then make the police interview my corpse about the non existant crime of cat scaring. And yet, I am the weirdo??

roses2 · 30/12/2013 11:21

Has the cat been back since?

LiberalLibertine · 30/12/2013 11:22

You said you had done 'worse' to cats yourself, do I'm asking what??

And no, I'd not let you be quite dead so you could 'fess up to your moggy brutality.

Cruelty to cats is an offence though you know?

Jengnr · 30/12/2013 11:22

Who says he held it down? She said he put it in a bath.

A lot of drama being added to the op in order to justify the hand wringing here.

Jengnr · 30/12/2013 11:24

Cruelty is Liberal. But nobody is talking about cruelty.

This would result in a wet cat. Probably a pissed off one. No more, no less.

Not a hurt cat, not a tortured cat, a wet one.

usualsuspect · 30/12/2013 11:28

Well he must have held it in the bath.knowing how it would struggle.

I don't think he added a lush bath bomb so the cat could chill out.

LambinsideaDuckinsideaTrout · 30/12/2013 11:30

Okay I'll ask you Jengnr seeing as shitehawke decided to ignore.

If you were locked in somewhere by someone and held down in a bath of cold water after being chased round inside and shouted at would you just be a bit miffed because you were wet? Or would you be a bit more traumatised than that?

And he will have had to have held it down. 99% of cats will fight claw and hammer to avoid water.

merryxmasyafilthyanimal · 30/12/2013 11:36

I thought this all sounded a bit mental but I read the last bit of your post to my DP OP and he gave an emphatic "yes" to your DP doing your cats a favour.

thornrose · 30/12/2013 12:00

is your dp aspie? is that a genuine question?

rabbitlady · 30/12/2013 12:08

certainly, thornrose. i am, and his plan for the intruder cat seems perfectly reasonable to me.

catsmother · 30/12/2013 12:20

Bloody hell - the ignorance shown by some on here is quite astounding.

Cats act in the moment. They are, eventually, likely to associate going in a particular garden with being shouted at, or having a water pistol fired at them, or having saucepans clanged in their direction ..... but by the time they'd been captured, slung into a strange house (traumatic in itself), "chased around", then held captive for however long it took to run a bloody bath ..... I doubt very much the cat's brain would associate its terrible crime of entering a garden, with what then ensued, what, at least 10 minutes later, if not more. If your sadistic twat of a DP hopes to have "taught it a lesson", aka as "discipline" by some brainless twunts, then well done, I don't expect it will have worked at all.

What it does sound like though is that your DP has satisfied his desire to inflict unnecessary - and useless - cruelty upon a small defenceless animal. I really hope he was scratched to buggery in the process.

And what's really sickening about this is that you say he was planning to do it .... so it can't even be "excused" by a momentary loss of temper in a "straw that broke the camel's back" sort of way. He sounds really nasty and I'd be having a very serious think about remaining with someone who could act in this way. There are plenty of small creatures I'm not particularly fond of - pigeons, "ratty" dogs - but I'd never be deliberately cruel to them the way he has.

He's fucking disgusting and so is anyone who thinks what he did is some sort of okay.

AnandaTimeIn · 30/12/2013 12:21

Beware anyone who is cruel to animals. It's psychopathic behaviour.

^

thornrose · 30/12/2013 12:48

That's ok then rabbit Grin I get a bit twitchy because people suggest AS for all kinds of bad behaviour on here!